A Twisted Master Quest
by Zilzil3
Summary: What's more important, your stomach or Hyrule? Warning: -Self Insertion- Notice: Hiatus
1. Prologue

**Yo! This is my first fanfic, and I'm rating this T just to be safe. I don't mind much for reviews, just to let you know.**

**I don't own Zelda or .Hack.**

**Prologue**

Okay. It is somewhere around three a.m., and I'm still not sleepy. Maybe I drank too much chocolate milk for my own good, or maybe I went and ate every little piece of candy in sight. Either way, I'm still awake. I had just finished reading another fanfic. It was horrible: the plot wasn't all that great, the main character was, well, a mary-sue, and the rest was just crud. After reading several more, I turned off the silver laptop. Right now, nothing seemed to interest me. There was nothing good on the laptop. I didn't feel like watching t.v., and I had ran out of paint a few days ago. Plus, I need to keep quiet, so that meant no loud music or anything like that.

My name is Stephanie. I'm fourteen years old, and I'm in the eighth grade. People mistake my hair color being black; you see, it's actually a dark brown color. REALLY dark brown. It is medium long, and usually a bit fuzzy. My eyes are round and brown. My nose is round, and my skin is Asian-pale. I'm wearing a huge white shirt with pink pajamas. Two of my most favorite games are Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and .Hack G.U. Pretty good games in my opinion. Hmm...speaking of games, I'll go play one right now. I took out the Ocarina of Time from it's gamecase (which was on the dresser) and placed it in the black gamecube. Turning on my wide-screen t.v., I started playing the game. I wasn't doing anything special, just starting the game over and over. Unlike .Hack, where I can level up and beat the shit out of monsters in two blows, I'm a major wuss at Legend of Zelda. I would only go so far as to beat Gohma, and then end up resseting the game without saving. I would ALWAYS freak out about thinking of taking on other bosses, and when I thought of the Shadow Temple...yeah, I think you get my point.

Here I am again, in the boss room. Let's see how long I'll last. I managed to dodge Gohma's attacks, and I managed to shoot it down with my slingshot. The thing came crashing down, and I repeatedly slashed it. I even added a few spin attacks. If you do it fast enough, Gohma won't be able to have babies. In fact, if you slash her fast enough on the first try, you won't have to worry about her retreating! Now isn't that something! Finally, the Queen died. I was still shaking on my controller, even though I defeated Gohma several times. Cooling down, I resseted the game, yet again. I let out a sigh. I still wasn't sleepy. Damn, I must be on crack or something. It's 3:43 a.m., for god's sake! I decided to play again, but this time on Master Quest. It's a harder version of Ocarina of Time, and you'll be able to play it if you have the game on gamecube.

After watching the opening, the menu selection came up. I chose Master Quest. I wanted to try to beat Gohma like in the other version. A loading bar appeared below a picture of Link. That means it's loading. The bar had finally filled up...until the t.v. went blank, that is.

"Ugh...Damn it all," I muttered. I got up and checked the t.v. to see if anything was wrong. Nothing was wrong. NOTHING! What the hell is going on? Suddenly, I heard static. I looked at the screen, and noticed that static was all over it. The static reminds me of tiny popcorn pieces. Don't ask how, please. I just figuered that I'll be able to fix the darn thing later, so I turned off the t.v. and the gamecube. However, the t.v. came back on! Weird. I pressed the power button again, and it came back on. Again. I tried to calm myself.

"Ignore the damn thing, Stephanie...Just pull the cord and you can go back to your happy place." I repeated that to myself a few more times. Finally, I searched behind the t.v. until I came across the cord. I yanked it off, and the t.v. went blank. But alas, the t.v. came back on. Why oh why does it come back on? Is it haunted? Am I having a really bad nightmare? Am I really on crack? Ya know, the third question makes sense the most. As I was pondering, I noticed the static went away. In it's place was nothing but a white screen with black letters that say,"Do you wish to proceed?" Below was some sort of click button that said,"I'm ready." I quickly thought about this. I could leave the t.v. alone and have trouble sleeping, or I could click the button and get it over with. I hate having my sleep disturbed, plus I couldn't really sleep to begin with, so I'll just go with option number two. I grabbed my controller, and clicked the button with the A button. As soon as I did that, however, some whirlpool, vortex thing began to form on the screen. Hell, screw the third question, I bet my t.v. is haunted! The whirlpool started to swirl rapidly, and I felt myself being sucked in. A headache began brewing in my head. It got so severe that I fainted.

When I came to, everything seemed off. For one, I'm outside in a forest of some sort and not in my room. I looked around...and saw the Great Deku Tree.


	2. Chapter 1

**Okay, from now on I'm going to add some manga reference to the story.**

**I don't own Zelda. **

**Chapter One**

Wait. Am I seeing this right? I rubbed my eyes to see if it really was the Great Deku Tree. Yup. No doubt about it. How could anyone miss that moustache? But...if that was the Great Deku Tree, does that mean I have entered Hyrule? That doesn't make sense. Then again, a t.v. that keeps on turning on even after I removed the cord doesn't make sense, either...Of course! That vortex thing! I must have been sucked in by that after I fainted! Makes sense to me.

"Who goes there?" bellowed the Great Deku Tree. I jumped; he doesn't sound jolly right now. Rather, he sounded a bit sick.

"Err...me?" I sat frozen like a rock.

"Tell me who you are, and how you got here." I began to tell him everything. The Great Deku Tree was in thought after I told him. "I see...A vortex of some sort. It must have been a portal from your world to ours. Perhaps it was so strong that your entire body was sucked in. I cannot explain your headache, though..." I nodded, wanting for him to continue. "Although...You are in a seven year-old body. The vortex must have affected your age, too..." My eyes widended. I checked myself. Indeed, I AM in a seven year-old body. I"m so small I could probably crawl through small holes. But that wasn't the only thing. My clothes have changed, too. Instead of my house clothes, I wore a Kokiri tunic (it's green). A brown belt was strapped around my waist, and that made a skirt that was almost at knee-length. I also have Kokiri boots, which were also almost at knee-length. My eye started twitching. I never, ever, EVER wear a skirt. It's just not my style.

"Great Deku Tree! I'm here!" said a voice. I turned to see Navi the fairy. She was just a ball of light with butterfly wings. I frowned. People say she is annoying. I am praying that it isn't true, because if it is, then I might as well feed her to the wolfos. Or something.

"Navi...Come hither..." The little firefly floated up to the Great Deku Tree's face. "A great evil has entered inside me. I've not much time left. Bring the one without a fairy here. Thou shall be his new partner." Navi bobbed up and down.

"Got it!" She was going to fly to Link's house, but she stopped. Turning around, she asked,"Erm, Great Deku Tree? Just who is this girl here?" Navi started to fly around my head. "She doesn't have long ears, nor does she have a fairy of her own."

"Ah, yes," began the Great Deku Tree,"this is-"

"Stephanie. Just so you know, I wasn't born in Hyrule." Sure, I interrupted the big ol' tree, but I wanted to at least SAY something. The little fairy seemed to be confused.

"What? You weren't born in-"

"As I was saying," the Great Deku Tree began (again),"this young girl...shall assist the boy." I ignored Navi, and turned to gape at him.

"Are you SERIOUS!? I am NOT the greatest fighter in the world, ya know. Also-"

"Thou shall learn in time. Now hurry." Navi turned to look at me straight in the eye.

"Well, Stephanie, we should get going now. Follow me!" With that, the fairy started flying to Link's house. I tried to catch up with her, but I was too slow. I don't do gymnastics much. Also, a lot was going through my mind right now. Master Quest is just a harder version of the game, right? Then why am I being paired up with an elf and a firefly? Why did a vortex appear on my t.v.? And most importantly...How am I going to get home? As I ran, I ended up running right into a Deku Baba. It scared the shit out of me, with its hungry snarls and all. Screaming, I dashed away from the darn plant, and kept running. When I could run no more, I stopped, to catch my breathe. I had lost sight of Navi already! Damn it! Ugh...At least I know where Link is.

"Hey! You!" I turned to see Mido. His hair is red, and his face is full of freckles. Ew. He basically wore the same clothing as me, only his shoes were green and short. "Yeah, you! Who are you!? Are you a Kokiri? I haven't seen ya before. You're ears are different, and ya don't have a fairy either!" Man, this kid is annoying. I grumpily walked up to him, and pulled him by the collar, so we met face to face.

"Boy, I'm only going to warn you once. Get out of my way, because I don't want to put up with anything at the moment. When I come back, you had better let me through, or else..." I pushed him on to the ground. I must have scared him quite a bit, because he started to back away. A lot. I walked past him, and entered Kokiri Forest. Huge tree stumps were made into houses. Midgets in green were everywhere, and had a fairy with them. Some ignored me, and others stared at me, as if I were a freak. I looked around the place, looking for the blondie's house. Finally, I came across a tall tree with no branches or leaves. A ladder led up to a deck, which a curtain loosely hung. A sign was next to the ladder. Strutting to the sign, I read the words written on it. 'Link's House', it said. Perfect. Just the elf I wanted to see. Climbing up the ladder, I soon reached the deck. I tip-toed over to the curtain, and moved it a bit to see what's inside. There was some furniture in there. Also, as I had noticed, Navi was hovering over the head of a blond, who seemed to be sleeping at the moment. I don't know how the hell the kid can sleep; Navi was screaming at the top of her lungs. I decided to walk in.

"Navi, I don't think he's going to wake up anytime soon." Navi turned to see me. She was surprised, apparently.

"Stephanie! I thought you were with the Great Deku Tree! I mean, I didn't really see you after I stopped." I rolled my eyes.

"You just kept going and going. By the way, I don't think your screaming at him is going to work. He sounds like a heavy sleeper to me."

"Yeah," Navi said,"but there's nothing else I could do right now." Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I smiled a devilish smile of sort.

"Just leave it to me, Navi! Just back away a bit, alright?" She nodded.

"Alright. Do your best!" With that, Navi flew to the farthest side of the room. Jeez, I said to back away a BIT, not far, far away! Well, whatever. I slowly walked over, and took a good look at Link. Awww, doesn't he look so cute? Too bad I'm going to ruin it. I lowered my hand to his face, and slapped him.

"Wakey, wakey, Link!" He may be a heavy sleeper, but he quickly reacted to my slapping. Link immediatly got up, and moaned in pain. I didn't hit him THAT hard...Okay, I lied.

"Ow! What did you do that for!?" Wow. He sure can whine.

"Well, if you had woken up to Navi's voice, then you wouldn't have gotten slapped." Link turned his head to get a good look at me.

"Who are you? And how did you know my name?" I scratched the back of my head a bit.

"Well..." I quickly pointed to Navi. "You see that fairy over there? That's you're new fairy partner, Navi. Me, I'm also you're partner, but don't take it the wrong way. My name is Stephanie. I knew your name...from the Great Deku Tree! Yeah! By the way, we gotta go now." I think he heard me, but I'm not sure, considering the fact that he's staring at Navi.

"A...A f..." Link began. I waved a hand in front of his face.

"Hello? Earth to Link?" But Link quickly slapped my hand away.

"A FAIRY! I FINALLY HAVE MY OWN FAIRY!!!" He jumped out of bed, and dashed over to catch Navi.

"No! Don't catch me!" It was too late, though. Link caught the firefly in his own hands.

"Now I can go boast to Mido!" Link ran out of the room, leaving me behind.

"Oh boy," I groaned. With that, I too ran out of the room. I hope Link trips over a rock or something, so I can catch up.


	3. Chapter 2

**To make things clear, Stephanie is the only seven-year old. Everyone else are at their normal age. I think I confused people from the last chapter. Sorry about that.**

**I don't own Zelda.**

**Chapter two**

I rushed out of the house, in hopes of catching up. Thankfully, Link was stopped by a girl when I got out. She's Saria. It looks like she is asking him something. I was about to greet them- until I fell to the ground. That...was painful. I looked up- and noticed that a hole had been cut out from Link's deck. When did that happen?

"Haha, Link, you're not suppose to catch a fairy. Let her go." I turned to see Saria pointing towards Link's cupped hands. It really must suck to be Navi right now. I got up and walked casually towards them, even though my bum still hurts. As I walked, Link released his grasp on Navi. She immediatly started to bonk his head.

"You idiot! You're not supposed to catch me!" Saria covered her mouth with one of her hands as Navi continued to hit the boy. She probably did that to either keep herself from laughing, or did it to signal she was worried, or something like that. Finally, I caught up to them.

"Hey there!" The green-haired girl spun around to see me, surprised. She cocked her head one side.

"Oh, hello. Who are you?" I told her my name, and why I'm here. Saria seemed only a bit confused, but for the most part, she seemed to understand me. Link, on the other hand, still doesn't quite get it.

"How come you-"

"YOU GUYS!!" Navi's screeching is starting to get on my nerves. I guess her being annoying is true, after all. "Hurry up! We need to see the Great Deku Tree right now!"

"I know that!" I snapped. "But, we'll need to get a weapon and a sheild." Saria spoke up.

"You can get a deku sheild at the local shop, but I heard there's only one sword, and it's hidden somewhere in the forest."

"Ooh! Ooh!" Link's hand shot up in the air. "I have a few things at my house that could be helpful! I'll go get them!" Energetic boy, isn't he? Link hurriedly dashed up to his house, only to fall down, thanks to the hole in the deck. Navi sighed.

"Stephanie, I'll fill Link in. Try to get the items we need, okay?"

"Alright." I waved my hand, then ran over to Mido's house. I'm going to get rupees my way: by raiding houses, cutting grass, and raiding houses again. I barged in Mido's house and took all the rupees I could find. Then, I walked over to the Know-It-All Brother's house, and cut the grass, earning me eleven rupees. Altogether, I had seventy-five rupees. Mido must have bullied the Kokiri for their rupees, like how bullies at school beat kids up for their lunch money. I decided to get five more rupees after I got the weapons. I made my way to a small hole, where I crawled through to get to the other side. As soon as I got out of the hole, I began stretching. I wasn't used to doing that. After doing so, I walked into the path of the boulder. When I saw the huge rock coming towards me, I immediatly screamed and ran. Eventually, after five laps around the path, I made it to the treasure box, where it should contain the sword. I trudged to the treasure box, and glanced at the keyhole. It appeared to have been tampered with, but I payed no mind. The box was pretty easy to open. However, looking inside the box, I realized that something was wrong.

"Where's the fricken' sword?" I asked aloud. There was no sword. Instead, a scythe was in its place. It had the same design as the Kokiri sword, except it had a purple jewel instead of a red one. I took it out. There's no sheath in sight, so I suppose you have to carry it around. The metal curved, and was sharp, too. Although a bit heavy, the scythe seemed pretty easy to carry. I decided to take it for a spin. I did a spin attack, and a few normal slashes. The scythe is definitely up my alley. I wonder where the sword is? Oh well. I'll look for it elsewhere. Taking the scythe with me, I went back on the path, only to scream and run again because of the boulder. Somehow, I was able to find the hole, and went through it. It was a bit tough, though. I had to be careful with the weapon, or else it'll poke me. Maybe even kill me. Crawling out of the hole, I trotted over to Link's house, to give him good news and bad news. Link was sitting on the ground, his legs crossed, waiting for me. Somehow, he managed to hide his underwear. I don't know how, he just did, even though he appears to wear a skirt. Navi hovered beside him.

"Well? Did you find the sword?" I shook my head.

"No. It wasn't in the treasure box. But I did find this neat scythe." I swung the weapon a bit. Link backed away, probably scared of getting injured. "Anyway, I think I know of another place that may have the sword. Take this." I lent him the money. "Buy us two sheilds once you find five rupees. I'll look for the sword again." Link nodded.

"Okay. By the way, here." He tossed me an object. Catching it, I realized that it is a slingshot. "I made an extra so you can use it. You'll need to find some pellets, though." Strange. Link shouldn't have a slingshot until we had entered the dungeon. But right now, I gotta think of the sword.

"Stephanie, do you want some company?"

"Thanks, Navi, but no thanks. Thanks for the slingshot, Link." I tucked the slingshot in one of my pockets. "I'll be back!" I dashed towards the Lost Woods. I am going to see if the wolfos has it. If not, then too bad. Entering, I noticed that several paths lay before me, one in each direction. Let's see...I took a right, a left, and...I forgot. All I knew is that I've taken this path plenty of times before, so I didn't get lost. Finally, I was at the gate. Tall, black bars with pointed tops guarded the entrance. I took in a big breathe. My first fight in Hyrule. I was excited, yet scared. If I died, that would be it. I HAD to get myself together. I got in a fighting position with my scythe. I slowly walked towards the gate. Suddenly, a grey wolfos came from the ground and howled. The first thing I did...was scream. Again.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!" I quickly ran from the monster. Sadly, I was too slow. The wolfos was able to claw me when it got near. Blood trickled from the wound. The pain stinged. My legs were shaking. The only thing keeping the wolfos at bay was my scythe, which I am currently using to defend myself. _Damn it, pull yourself together!_ I tried to listen to the brave voice in my head, but I was too scared to do anything. Except defending, that is. Then an idea popped in my head. Using the scythe to keep the wolfos away, I pulled out my slingshot. Luckily for me, a few pebbles were right beside me. Grabbing them, I hurriedly loaded them on the slingshot and shot them at the monster. It worked! The wolfos whimpered and backed away. That gave me the courage I needed. Tightly gripping the scythe, I began to slash the monster. It soon turned into a bright red puddle of mush. I think I went a little TOO far. But whatever. I'm safe, and that's all that matters at the moment. Plus, the bars that guarded the gate vanished. Putting away my trusty slingshot, I searched all over the place. And guess what? The damn sword ain't here either! I've basically screamed my ass off, got injured, and killed a wolf for nothing! What a rip off! Angrily, I stormed out of the Lost Woods.


	4. Chapter 3

**This was a little later than usual, mainly because of Gaia's Human vs. Vampire battle. Yes, it was addicting. **

**I don't own Zelda.**

**Chapter three**

The anger took away almost all of my energy when I walked out of the Lost Woods. Now I'm too tired to be angry. I trudged back to Link's house. How am I gonna tell him that I couldn't find the darn thing? I pondered for a bit. I could tell him that a wolfos ate- no, no...he wouldn't believe it. I could blame the situation on Mido. Yeah...besides, I never liked the midget anyway. Then it's settled- Mido's taking the blame and I won't be in trouble...Nah, Link would somehow figure out that one. Damn. Wahhh, I just wanna go home already! I shouldn't have clicked the darn thing-a-ma-jigger-whatever-you-call-it! I probably have to go on some cracked-up adventure with a blondie in a skirt that has an annoying firefly for a fairy!!! Oh wait, I already am. Duh. A shiver went down my spine. If I went with Link, that means I'll have to go to the Shadow Temple. And, if I have to go to the Shadow Temple, I'd end up losing my voice. Yup. Haa...Well, I'm back at Link's house.

Hmm...He's not here. Maybe the boy's at the entrance? I gotta make sure! I climbed up the ladder, but stopped every so often, due to the wound. I'll need to go to Saria's. Who know's? Maybe she can cure me. Eventually, I made it to the top, and tip-toed inside. No...he ain't here. Link probably is waiting for me at the entrance. I walked out- and fell. Damn it all, somebody fix the hole! My body dropped to the ground pretty hard. That affected my wound, making it worse.The pain shot through me. I clutched my clawed skin for a bit, then removed my hand to check. Uh-oh. Blood covered almost all of my hand. The red liquid also created a huge spot on my tunic. That broke the dam- I started to cry. Tears flowed from my eyes. There was no way to stop it now. Sniffing, I slowly got up, and staggered towards Saria's house. Owies...maybe I should have gotten the sheild first. I wondered why I didn't feel much pain at first? It always happens to me. The pain waits for, like, a few minutes or so, before it gets worked up. Finally, I made it at Saria's. I entered inside.

"S-Saria? You there?" She...wasn't there. Well, that sucks big time. I then noticed a piece of paper on her small bed. Walking towards it, I picked up the white paper. Something was written on it. It said,"I'll be gone for a while. I'll try to be back as soon as possible. Love, Saria." I wonder where she ran off to? Meh, she's probably waiting for Link and I to walk out of the village, and give the boy an ocarina. Great. Now how am I supposed to get bandaged? Hmm...I'm sure the Kokiri girl wouldn't mind if I, ya know, snooped around the place. Let's see...there's a round rug, a bed, some cabinets, more cabinets, again with the cabinets...I searched one of the wooden cabinets, and came across a red colored object. It is a heart. If you'd ever played the game, then you would know that these things heal you. Just my luck too, since there's a lot of them. Grabbing one, I placed it on my wound that recently stopped bleeding. Nothing happened, however. What the-? It's not working! I tossed the heart away and seized a new one. I studied it for a bit. The surface feels cool, and it's hard like candy. Candy...Oh! I know! I shoved the heart in my mouth, chewed it, and swallowed it. The stinging pain on my side suddenly stopped. I checked- and noticed that the wound seemed almost completely healed. I grinned.

"Hoozah! Now, to the boy with a fairy!" I dashed out of the house and went for the entrance. There Link was, with his Navi and Mido, the boy I freaked out earlier. Link was complaining to Mido. His voice is so loud, you'd think he was Jungle Boy or something.

"Mido, you jerk! The Great Deku Tree summoned me! Why are you blocking the path!?"

"I, the Great Mido, will never let a half-person like you enter!"

"What do ya mean, half-person!? I have a freaking fairy now, can't you see!?"

"Ha, but a wimp is still a wimp! So what if ya got two Deku sheilds? Without a sword, you're as good as-" He stopped. I knew why. Mido saw me just now. Link turned to see me, too.

"Hey! Stephanie! I got the sheilds you asked for!" He waved one of them in the air. Mido took a step back.

"Link...You're paired up...with her?" Wow, his voice is quivering. The blondie raised a brow.

"Yeah...Why?" Mido sweated bullets of sweat. Even his armpits were soaked with sweat. Ew.

"EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!!" Mido ran so fast a cloud of dirt was left behind. He screamed as he ran to his own house. I must have REALLY freaked out the guy. Link was standing by my side by the time Mido shut the curtains on his door.

"Wow...Steph, what did you do to him?" Navi hovered by.

"Yes...I would like to know myself." I scratched the back of my head.

"Let's say I've gotten into some sort of rotten mood when I met him. By the way, I couldn't find the sword." Link gaped at me.

"You WHAT!?" I made a face.

"Hey, I almost got my ass kicked by a wolfos! I don't need a boy in a skirt yelling at me! I couldn't find it ANYWHERE!" Navi bonked the side of my head. "Ow! What did you do that for!?"

"Watch your language! We can't worry about a sword right now, anyway! You have a scythe, it should be enough! Now let's hurry!" Link frowned at me before dashing off to the Great Deku Tree. Sighing, I slowly walked to the Great Deku Tree. Walking through the path, I came across the monster again. I screamed, ran way, and made it back to the Deku Tree. Do you see something wrong with the picture? I can kick a wolfos's can, yet I run away from a plant. Anyways, Link was sitting on the ground, his legs crossed. Navi floated near the Great Deku Tree. He was explaining about the curse he had, who casted it upon him, and so-forth. Finally, he's finished. Took him a while, too. Link got up and dusted off his clothes.

"Thou brave enough to enter?" The boy nodded.

"You bet!"

"Then enter, brave Link...Thou too, brave Navi and Stephanie." Yay, I'm about to enter a stinky dungeon with lots of spiders and monsters. What fun that'll be. The Great Deku Tree opened his mouth.

"Come on, Stephanie, let's go!" Link motioned for me to follow him. He knew I was there? Wow, he must be psychic! Aha, nevermind, it's probably my footsteps that gave me away.

"Wait! I'm coming too!" We turned around, and saw Mido. He was holding something...It's the Kokiri Sword! How the hell did he get that!? This didn't happen in the game!

"Mido?" Link asked, surprised. Mido rolled his eyes.

"Of course it's me, you dope! As I was saying, I'm coming too!" Link cocked his head one side.

"Should we, Stephanie?" I nodded yet again.

"Well, yeah! He's got the sword!" Then I narrowed my eyes at Mido. "How did you get that sword?" He cleared his throat. He took a few breathes, too.

"I found it a few days ago. I was planning to scare the wimp with it, too." I shrugged.

"Eh. Good enough. Hey Link, you sure the Deku Tree won't mind?"

"If he is brave enough to enter, then he shall." The Great Deku Tree's voice boomed hastily. Navi sat on Link's hat.

"Hurry! We don't have much time left!"...There is no more time. Once we get out, sayonara Great Deku Tree. Wow, that made me seem like I have no feelings whatsoever. Then again, I probably don't. As we entered inside, I opened my mouth to say something.

"Hey Link."

"Yeah?"

"Remember when I said that the Great Deku Tree told me your name?"

"Yes?

"I lied."

"WHAT!?" I don't think the poor boy can take anymore surprises.

"Just shut up and give me a sheild."


	5. Chapter 4

**Hey...yeeaaah, sorry for not updating this story in a LONG while. I kinda, ya know, got lazy and stuff. And for a while, I forgot about it. Thankfully, I got a message about it, so I'll continue. M'kay?**

**I don't own Zelda.**

**Chapter Four**

After Link gave me that sheild, we walked inside the huge tree. It smells like wood rotting in here. I payed no mind to it, however. The entire place wasn't layed out like a dungeon. No ladders, no chests, not even Deku Babas. Instead, there was a hole in the middle. We may get to the boss sooner than we think! I feel like crying.

"Navi," Link asked,"do you think that that monster is down there?"

"...I don't know."

"Well of course, you wimp!" Mido said, rolling his eyes. "Do you see any other holes to go in? I certainly don't!" While the two boys bickered, I tip-toed to the hole, and peered down below. Water. There's a pool of water at the bottom. It seems deep enough for us to jump in and not get hurt. But still, I have my doubts.

"Hey, do you two know how to swim-"

"BRAT!"

"JERK!" Wow...this seems pretty pointless. Mido's freckles look like they're going to pop out, and Link's face is a deep red. He's also a bit teary-eyed.

"Um...You know what? Forget what I just said. Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna go commit suicide by drowning." I jumped in, screaming and laughing, screaming because I could drown, and laughing, because, well, it was fun. Soon enough, I was plunged into the water. God, it's cold! I was about to climb out of it, until I spotted those damn Gohma eggs.

"Hey!" Navi flew to my side. "Didn't you hear me? I told you to wait!" I stayed silent for a moment.

"You did?" She bonked me on the side of my head.

"Yes! I did!" Navi then spotted the eggs. "Gohma eggs!" She hovered to one them on the ceiling. "Stephanie, if you're not careful, these things can hatch- and hurt you!" I heard a few splashes behind me.

"Stephanie," Link whined,"why didn't you wait for us? I mean-"

"Shhhhhhh!" I shushed him. "Look up there!" He tilted his head upward.

"What's that?"

"It's some-"

"Dead meat," I interrupted Navi. I took out my slingshot.

"What are you doing?" Mido asked. I didn't bother to answer. Instead, with some pellets, I aimed at the eggs.

"One little, two little, three little Gohma eggs! And I still have a Queen Gohma to gooo!" I sang as I shot them all down. "That takes care of them. Let's hurry up and get out of the water. I don't wanna get all pruny." We climbed out of the water, and made our way through a passage. It was a bit dark. "Does anyone know how to make fire?" Navi whacked my head. Hard.

"We're in a TREE! We could end up burning the Great Deku Tree!"

"So...no fire?"

"No fire!" It was only about, like, five minutes of traveling before Link started asking questions.

"How did you know my name?"

"Your life's a video game."

"What's a video game?"

"An electronic game."

"How is my life-"

"Look, I'll explain once we get outta here. Got it?"

"Okay...Oh wait! Where are you from?" Ugh.

"I said I'll explain! Geez, what part of that don't you-"

"HOLY DEKU NUTS!" Mido shrieked. We've crossed paths with Queen Gohma. She's eating some wood. Deku Tree wood. Nasty, she's even uglier in person!

"Listen," Navi began,"the Queen Gohma's weakness is the eye! Link, Stephanie, aim for the eye. Mido, once she's been hit, hit her eye with your sword!" Mido was shaking like a leaf.

"Here!" He gave Link the Kokiri sword. He screamed like a little girl- and hid somewhere. Wow. I know I'm scared of spiders, but damn, Mido is worse.

"Oh great," Navi muttered.

"Well," I said,"now it's just two seven-year olds fighting a huge spider."

"Uhh, Stephanie? I'm ten." Link explained.

"Oh. My bad." Queen Gohma spotted us. She doesn't look full, either.

"Link, get ready. I'm gonna shoot her eye out!" I ran far back as possible, while keeping Gohma in sight. The reason I did that is because I didn't want to go near her. Sure, I have a scythe, but I don't feel like using it. Aiming with my slingshot, I hit a bulls-eye on Gohma. As soon as she got hit, Link slashed her with Mido's sword. She dropped to the ground. That was it? Cool. I trotted up back to Link. "Hey...Do you think she's dead?"

"That shouldn't be it," Navi said, confused. "I was pretty sure she's a lot stronger."

"Wow! You two defeated her!" Mido jumped out of his hiding place. "Nice job- for a wimp, that is."

"I'm a wimp?" Link cried. "Look at you! You ran away even before the fight began!" I noticed a sudden movement in Gohma. Oh hell no. I backed away. Far away.

"You guys might wanna back up a bit!" I shouted from afar. Ooh crap, they didn't hear me. Gohma got up on her feet- and slammed the two into the wall. Her mouth started oozing with drool.

"Stephanie! Do something!" Navi cried out. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do!? My body won't move. I'm too scared to go near her!

"Help!"

"And hurry up with it!" Mido's not that important, but if Link gets eaten, then I'd have to do all the work for him! I hate work! Calm down calm down. Let's see...I can't see Gohma's eye clearly, so I can't shoot it. Oh yeah, the scythe! Grabbing it tightly, I made a small mark on my arm. The pain should be enough to snap me out of it.

"YAAAAAHH!" Screaming, I ran up to the over-sized bug- and slashed off an arm. Green blood started to squirt out. Ew. The pain caused her to drop both Mido and Link.

"Thanks!" Link stabbed Gohma in the eye. I started to cut off her other arms one by one. Mido stood in a corner. Due to blood loss and extreme pain, the huge spider finally stopped moving and died. Sucks to be her.

"Thank goodness!" Navi sighed, relieved. "Now the Great Deku Tree is sure to be saved!"

"Eh, I wouldn't bet on it, you little firefly."

"What?"

"Oh nothing. So now what?"

"We get out of here, of course!" Mido jumped with joy. After thirty minutes of traveling through a tree, we got out. Sadly, the Great Deku Tree looks like it's about to croak. There's definitely going to be some waterworks here.


	6. Chapter 5

**I don't own Zelda. **

**Chapter Five**

The Great Deku Tree doesn't look a thing near being healthy. I'm really starting to get uncomfortable. I noticed that other Kokiri were surrounding the place, saying things like,"What happened?" and "Oh, Great Deku Tree!" Both Link and Mido got close to him.

"Great Deku Tree, we got rid of that thing! You'll be alright now, right?"

"Yeah! We worked our tails off!" I wanted to retort something to Mido, but I managed to keep my mouth shut.

"You four did a very well job, getting rid of that curse..." Wait...All four of us? There's only- oh yeah, Navi. Duh. "But I'm afraid that my life won't go back to normal." Here we go.

"What!? W-what do you mean?" Link cried. His eyes got wide. "No...NO! Don't die!" He started sobbing, and hugged the Great Deku Tree tightly. Mido's tears flowed like waterfalls. Just about every Kokiri here has a tear in his or her eye. My face went blank.

"Don't cry. There will one day be a new seedling to take my place." The Great Deku Tree began explaining things like the triforce, the man that placed a curse on him, and the stone. After that was all said and done, a glowing emerald stone came into view. "Take this. This is the stone that that man wanted. It is the Kokiri stone. Bring this to the princess of destiny." Link, letting go, held the stone in his hands. "Link, you will begin a journey and one day fight that man." I saw the look of horror on the boy's face.

"But-but I can't! That scary man...he's too strong."

"You _can_. And you won't be fighting alone, either." The dying tree spoke his final words. "Navi...Assist the two in their journey. Everyone...good-bye..." His wood color turned from brown to grey. Leaves, browning, fell from the Great Deku Tree's head.

"Good-bye, Deku Tree," Navi whispered softly. The entire place was filled with silence. Okay, first dungeon is done. Just two more.

"Looks like I'll be leaving this place," Link said.

"Now hold on a minute!" Mido exclaimed. He went close enough to Link to point a finger at his face. "The Kokiri can't live outside this forest! You'll wind up dead!" I decided to join in.

"Uh, didn't you hear? Linky boy's gotta go on a _journey_. That means going outside of a _forest_. Besides, not only is he supposed to meet some princess, but he's got me fo' a traveling companion. I'm pretty sure he'll be alright." Mido made a face.

"He better..." A few minutes later we were at the exit. "I guess you guys gotta get going." Link and I both nodded our heads. "Good. Now get goin'! Don't come back, ya hear?" What a nice farewell that was. We waved good-bye, and journeyed on. The two of us were on the bridge. It looked old enough to break. I'm surprised it didn't do that.

"Link..." Yay! I felt giddy. Ocarina time! We both turned to see Saria. She held two ocarinas. Y_eee_s!

"Ah! Saria!"

"You're going on a journey, aren't you?" Her face looked a little solemn.

"Yeah." She held out the ocarina in her left. "Take this. I wanted to give you one before you left." It has a greyish color, with a weird green mark on the mouth piece. Link took the ocarina and examined it for a bit.

"Wow! Thanks!" She smiled, and nodded.

"And Stephanie..."

"Yeah?" Saria held out the other ocarina in her right. "This is for you. I made it, just this morning." I guess that can explain her absense. But why couldn't she do it in her house? Oh well. I got an ocarina! Who called it? _Who called it_? Oh yeah, that's right, ME.

"Sweet!" I grabbed my new instrument and examined it as well. It has a nice shade of red, with small white splatters all over it. Super sweet. "Thank _you_, Saria!" Giggling a bit, she took out her own.

"I want to teach you two a song. Play after me." She began playing Saria's song. Link followed perfectly. I messed up on several notes. Thankfully, I was reassured and told that I can practice during our journey. As we said our good-byes and head on out, we met with the world's most annoying owl. He talks too much, and his name is so damn long! I can't even remember it! I'll just call him Mr. Owl.

"Hoot! Why hello there! My name is-" I shot a pellet at Mr. Owl. It went straight for his mouth. The owl choked and gagged. Cool, it went into his throat! He choked some more, then fell to the ground and died. I grinned.

"Awesome! I'm getting really good at this!" Link stood there with his mouth hanging open.

"Oh my god...!" He faced me, keeping the same expression on his face.

BAM!

"Stephanie! What in the name of Hyrule were you thinking!?"

"Ow! Navi, what the hell did you do that for!?"

"That's because you're a huge idiot!" She shook her head. "But that's not the point! Don't you realize that you've killed an innocent animal?"

"Well..." I stared long and hard at the corpse. "He looks good enough to eat."

"STEPHANIE!"

"Alright, alright! Jeez woman, put a cork in your-"

"Hey look!" Link exclaimed, jumping up and down. "I see a wooden floor on wheels!" Both Navi and I checked to see what he is excited about.

"Link, I think that's called a cart," Navi explained. The cart had stopped. The person who was driving it had gone to the back to check on something.

"It looks like the kind farmers use," I said thoughtfully. I averted my attention to the corpse, then to the carriage. I did this several times. Finally, an idea struck.

"I HAVE AN IDEA!" I shouted dramatically.

"I do, too," Navi said. "Why not ask the person who's driving that cart to give us a ride? That way, we can travel without wearing ourselves out."

"Aww, you stole a part of my idea," I whined,"but whatever." I walked over to pick up the dead owl. "We can use this as payment." Link looked like he was going to barf.

"I don't think the driver will accept it."

"Just you wait, little firefly, just you wait."

"And quit calling me firefly!" We ran to that cart as fast as our legs carried us, with the exception of Navi using her wings. I ended up being the slowest. I couldn't carry both a scythe and a corpse and run at the same time, so I put the bar of the scythe in my mouth to hold, and tucked the dead body in one of my arms. Eventually, we made it. I spit out the scythe and picked it off the ground. I am _never_ going to do _that _again. _NEVER_. Link poked the back of the driver. The guy turned and showed his face. It was...Talon? Woah. Tubby put on a bit more weight than the game intended.

"Oh my, what's this? Two young children in a place like this? Well, always expect for the unexpected they say." He bent down to meet Link's height. "So sonny, what can I do for you?"

"Um, well, you see, we need a ride to, umm..."

"To the Hyrule Castle Town...place." I finished it for him. Talon's face was deep in thought.

"I see. However," he began,"due to being a little low on money this month, I've charged everyone a sum of money who had wanted a ride."

"How much does it cost?" Link sounded a little afraid for the answer.

"50 rupees for each rider."

"50 RUPEES!?" we exclaimed.

"Yes," he said, sighing. "I really don't want to put it up that high, but my allowance is so low, I don't have enough to put decent food on the table."

"Really? What if I give you Mr. Owl? Could he pay for the ride?" I held up the corpse. His eyes got wide.

"Why-why of couse!" He snatched him from my hands. "This is certainly enough to feed my family! Thank you!" He pointed towards the back of the cart. "You two can stay there while I drive to town." The fat man went to the front while we went to the back.

"Hah," I said, looking smug. "I told you he would take it, Navi."

"How was I supposed to know?"


	7. Chapter 6

**I don't own Zelda.**

**Chapter Six**

We sat down on the edge of the cart. It was loaded with hay and bottles of milk.

"Alright now! Giddyup!" I heard Talon say. The cart started moving. Come to think of it...how many horses were there? Hmm...either five or two, I dunno. I grabbed a bottle of milk and opened it.

"Stephanie? What are you doing?" Link asked in a whisper. Oh crap, I've been noticed.

"Just shut up and get one bottle to chug down. Remember, _just one_." He did as I told him to, and drank until there was none left. He wiped his mouth. I did the same. This milk is way better than the milk back home! The milk was cool and refreshing, and yet, I tasted a bit of sweetness in it. After finishing it off, I took Link's bottle and hid them in the hay. "Ya quenched your thirst, right?" He nodded.

"Alright. I'll explain-"

"Link! Stephanie! Why did you two-" Link took off his hat- and caught Navi in it!

"There we go. Okay, so what were you going to say?"

"Oh, uh, right. I'm going to explain everything, but you had better listen, because I'm only going to say this ONCE. Understand?"

"Yup!"

"Good. Now how do I put this? I came from the land of America. And by that, I mean a different world other than Hyrule." I explained everything, down to the last detail. And the more I explained, the more excited, confused, and shocked I saw on Link's face. Finishing, I told him that I have no idea on how to get home.

"So that's why you're so different." I nodded. "Hmm...Oh! I know!" He jumped onto his feet. "I bet that if the two of us-"

"Three of us," I corrected him.

"What?"

"Remember? Navi?" I pointed towards the hat.

"Oh. As I was saying, I bet that if the three of us go on this quest and save Hyrule, you'd find your way home!"

"That's nice. But what if I don't? I mean, sure, it's nice in Hyrule and stuff, but, right now, I'm starting to feel...homesick." I sighed. "And by the way..."

"Yes?"

"You can free your guardian fairy anytime now."

"Oh!" He let loose the opened end of his hat. Navi came out, and if I haven't guessed, she's extremely pissed.

"Sorry Navi! I wanted to hear Stephanie's story, and you kinda interrupted." She started hitting Link like crazy! Just when I was starting to enjoy this fight, I felt the cart stopping.

"Hey! You guys! I think that's our cue!" Navi stopped beating the crap out of Link.

"Hmph!" was all she let out.

"I...I can't feel anything," Link whimpered. Damn. Sucks to be him.

"We can't worry about that right now. Sorry." I hopped off the cart and trotted over to the front. Oh, so there's two horses. Talon saw me and smiled. Well, I think he smiled, but I couldn't tell due to his dark brown beard.

"Ah, nice to see you well! Say, did you enjoy the ride? And where's your friend?"

"The ride was alright. And my friend..." I glanced at the back. Link was staggering to the front. "Well, eh, he'll be alright."

"Did something happen?"

"Yeah. His butt got owned by a fairy." He chuckled, then pointed a finger.

"Is this where you wanted to go?" Hyrule Marketplace! Just the place we needed to go!

"Yes, siree!" I said gleefully.

"Alrighty then! Looks like I'll head home then. By the way, I live at Lon Lon Ranch. You two can visit us anytime. Also, thanks for that bird!" Talon waved at us while heading off in the other direction.

"F-finally."

"Link! Ya made it, buddy!"

"Yeah..." His knees suddenly dropped to the ground. "I don't think I have the energy left to move on. I'm starving, too."

"How the hell can you be hungry? You just drank some milk!"

"Exactly, Stephanie. Link didn't eat; He _drank_."

"...Shut up, Navi. Link, we HAVE to move. Now quit whining and get up. I can assure you, that since this is a marketplace, there's definitely going to be some food somewhere."

"REALLY!? _THERE'S FOOD!?_" Link immediatly jumped to his feet. "Then what are we waiting for!? LET'S GO!!!" He zipped past me and ran into the marketplace.

"Ah! Hey!"

"Haahh...Let's find him, Stephanie, before he runs into more trouble."

"Good point." Navi and I went into the busy crowd, shouting out Link's name. After what seems like, what, ten minutes of searching, we both found him. I noticed that he is next to a bread shop. Eating piles of bread. Shit.

"Mmm-mm! This bread is a hundred times better than the fruit in the forest!" I heard Link gush. With his mouth full, of course. I then noticed that several men began to surround Link. They looked pretty angry to me. Damn it, Link! I pushed past through the crowd to be side by side with Link. I slapped the bread out of his hands and shook him by the collar.

"Damn it, fairy boy! Don't you realize what a mess you've gotten yourself into!?" I can tell that he's confused.

"What? What did I do wrong?"

"You ate the bread!"

"...So?"

"They're not free!"

"...Uh-oh."

"Hey, kid." A man in an apron stepped up. "You gonna pay for that?"

"Guh, uhh..."

"Yeah." Another guy stepped in. "Don't you have any money?"

"Err..."

"If ya don't..." The guy in the apron picked Link up. "Then I guess we'll take whatever ya have." He began shaking Link violently. His stuff, like the slingshot, started falling out. Other men picked those up and stuffed them in their pockets. I glanced around the place. Other people began crowding in, whispering about stuff.

"Hey! Stop it!" But the guys didn't listen. They continued to do so- until the Kokiri Emerald fell out. Oh no.

"What's this?" The man let go of Link and picked up the stone. "Heh. This should be enough." He put the stone in his pocket.

"Hey! Give it back!" I shouted. He glared at me.

"Who's gonna make me, punk?"

"I will if ya don't give it back!" And, feeling a fight coming on, I added,"Bitch!" Everybody in the crowd gasped. I heard them saying things like,"Did you hear that kid?" and,"Pottymouth." The man's face became red with anger.

"You're asking for it!" Dun dun DUN DUN! Here we go!

"Please wait. I'll pay for the bread, so please, give them back their stuff." Who was that? Link must've seen this person, because for one that's on the ground, he's blushing. I stared at where he's staring. The first person I saw was...Princess Zelda!?


	8. Chapter 7

**I have no idea what rice cakes taste like, so bear with me. Also, this is the longest chapter I have done so far.**

**I don't own Zelda.**

**Chapter Seven**

No. She looks like Zelda, but she isn't wearing any royal clothes. Instead, she's wearing a...um...uh...what do you call those things? Uh, a jacket? A coat? Mini-shirt? Ah, screw it. She's wearing a white, short-sleeve, midriff jacket, with a floral yellow dress. The type of shoes she wore are sandals colored brown. Blond hair, blue eyes...Dang, no wonder I thought she was Zelda.

"Eh? You think that you can pay all that bread? Get real, kid."

"I can. And I _will_." She dug into one of her pockets, clearly fishing for rupees. I wonder...Is she going to give them fake money? Or does she have enough? And why would she help us, anyway? Navi and I were too busy looking for Link, and Link was too busy eating all that food! "Ah! Found it!" She held up a huge red rupee. Looking triumphant, the Zelda look-alike handed over the rupee to the man in the apron. He inspected it, and gasped.

"TWO HUNDRED RUPEES!?"

"You can keep the change, too. Now, will you give them back their stuff?"

"...Fine." Holy crap, she had enough!? No, scratch that, MORE than enough! I don't believe this!

"Ah, thanks!"

"Yeah, yeah. You and your little friend are just lucky, that's all." Link's gathering his stuff from the men. Thank goodness, too.

"Pssssssst," I heard someone whisper in my ear. It's that girl! "Once you two are done, will you come with me?" Wow. This is getting pretty creepy.

"I guess...You did help us, after all."

"Oh, thank you!"

"Hey, Stephanie! I got all my..." Hmm? Why did Link stop? Stop! Inspection time! His face is pink, signaling that he's blushing. He's standing very still, and his eyes are focused on our savior. Aha! He has a cru-ush! He has a cru-ush! On our savior! On our savior! La la la la- Okay, I'll stop now.

"Hey, why don't ya say thank you? She saved our butts," I spoke in his ear.

"Oh, uh, yeah! T-t-thaaank y-y-y-y-yoou!" I rolled my eyes.

"Without stuttering, he said, 'Thank you!' No need to thank me, of course." I noticed that it only made him blush harder. Haha, I embarrased him! I'm so mean, it's funny. The girl giggled.

"Heeheehee! Come on, let's go over there!" She pointed to a well. Before Link and I had a chance to take a few steps, the girl grabbed our wrists- and dashed towards the well!

"YAAAH! STOP!" I screamed. She didn't, and continued to dash through the crowd. Finally, we made it to the well, and she let go. Goddamn it, it hurts! I winced as I gently rubbed my wrist.

"Yeow! Why did you do that? We could've just walked over to the well!" Link cried.

"Sorry! I got carried away and- Oh no!" She ducked to hide. What the hell is she so scared of, anyway?

"Excuse me." I turned to see...Holy tamales, it's Impa! The guardian of Zelda, and a sheika. White hair, strange outfit suitable for running, and marks on her face, there's no mistake it's Impa. What's she doing here? Or better yet, why's the storyline so different? A hole had been cut from Link's deck, he had the slingshot, Mido had the Kokiri sword, there really wasn't a dungeon in the Great Deku Tree, Talon was riding on a cart in the field, a girl decided to pop out of nowhere and help us, despite not knowing us at all, and now Impa! It's so whack! None of this was supposed to happen! _None of it_!!! I feel a headache coming on. "A noble girl ran away from her home. Have you seen one?"

"No," Link and I replied.

"I see. If you do, please tell me." And with that, she walked off. That was quick.

"Whew. Thank you." I stared at the girl who had just got out of her hiding place. I have a feeling that this girl IS Zelda, considering how quickly she reacted to seeing Impa. "Thank you two so much." She bowed her head down to us.

"I-it's no problem," Link said, scratching the back of his head.

"Before we go any further, tell us who you are," I said sternly. "You're that 'noble girl', aren't you?" The girl became shocked upon hearing that.

"Stephanie! Don't go jumping into conclusions like that!" Link whispered harshly.

"No. It's alright." The girl lifted her head up. "Yes. I am that 'noble girl'. I am Princess Zelda." Ha, I knew it! From the look on his face, I'd say that Link is shocked. "I changed into these clothes and ran away from home so I...can have fun." Zelda lowered her head a bit. "I wanted to spend things with my own money, and not have guards around me wherever I go. You know, how an ordinary girl would live." She started to reach for something in her pocket. "I can even prove that I'm Princess Zelda. I took this, the family heirloom, just in case I needed to prove my identity." Zelda took out...the Ocarina of Time!? I really need to stop getting surprised. At this point, anything can be possible.

"What is it?" Link asked. His head had already tilted to one side.

"This is-"

"The Ocarina of Time, duh." Zelda stared and gaped at me. I grinned like I had solved a very hard question, got it right, and recieved a huge lollipop for getting it right.

"How...When...?"

"Don't worry about it. Besides, we have an important item to show you, don't we Link?"

"Yup!" He took out the Kokiri Emerald.

"No! Put it away!"

"What's wrong, Zelda?" Why in the world is she getting worked up?

"Please!" I glanced at Link. He's very confused, but he put it away anyway. I looked at Zelda, waiting for an explanation.

"I'm sorry...Could we do this at another time?" Link and I exchanged glances.

"Well, we could take a day off." I stretched a bit. "I mean, we're going to the castle anyway, so we can discuss about that stuff there." I saw a glimpse of happiness in Zelda's eyes. Being a princess must've put huge pressure on her. "So...what do you want to do?"

"Hmm...We can go to that-" I suddenly heard a few growls. Zelda giggled. "You two are hungry, aren't you?"

"Link shouldn't be," I growled, glaring at him for eating all that bread. Link grinned sheepishly.

"Hehe. Sorry." This only made Zelda giggle even more. She must really like her giggling.

"I see some rice cakes over there. I'll go get some, so all of us can eat. I'll be right back!" She ran over to a rice cake shop. Navi appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey! We really need to give that stone to her! She's the princess of destiny!" Link frowned at her.

"Oh, come on, Navi! Like what Stephanie said, we can take a day off! And besides..." He started to grin, and blush. "She's cute." He sighed a dreamy sigh of sorts.

"Navi, where were you anyway? You just keep popping out of nowhere!"

"Stephanie, I just go under Link's hat, to rest. And speaking of his hat, I'm going back right now." She flew to Link's hat, and magically disappeared into it. The boy rubbed his head a bit.

"No wonder why my head feels weird."

"I'm back!!!"

"Oh, hey Ze- HOLY CRAP!" Zelda is holding a bag full of rice cakes. And there are a lot more piling on the already full bag.

"Heehee! The owner gave me a lot for free because he said that I'm a pretty girl!" She carefully placed the bag on the ground. "We can all dig in, now!" Zelda took a rice cake, and placed it in her mouth. I shrugged, took one, and ate it as well. Sticky, yet tastes like plain ol' rice. Like how my mom makes rice. I checked on Link, to see if he's eating any. He is. In fact, he's shoving them into his mouth. I sighed.

"Link, take the time to chew. I heard that these rice cakes can make you choke." He rolled his eyes and continued eating his way. Brat. The three of us decided to sit down on the edge of the well. "I don't think we've introduced ourselves, have we?" Zelda shook her head no. "Okay. I'm Stephanie, and this is my traveling companion, Link." He waved at her, still chewing on rice cakes. "He came from the Kokiri Forest. I came from a different world, land...place." She nodded her head. "Sorry. I can't really explain where I'm from 'til we're at the castle."

"It's okay."

"Umm, did you two wanted some rice cakes?"

"Huh? What do you- Oh my god!" I angrily grabbed the now nearly empty bag. "Link! You pig!"

"Sorry," was all he muttered. I sighed, and emptied out the contents of the bag. Only five or six rice cakes remained. How in hell did he eat all that that fast?

"Next time, save some for others." He muttered another 'Sorry' at me. I looked at the bag once more. On the side, it reads, 'Goron Rice Cakes'. Gorons make rice cakes? That's something new. I wonder...If I lived in Hyrule, would I be considered a Gerudo? Like them, I don't have long ears. Then again, my skin's not all that tan. I shrugged, then took two rice cakes and handed the rest to Zelda. We ate our fill, and stood up. "So Zelda, what did you want to do?"

"Well..." She pointed to a door. "I want to go play Bombchu Bowling." She grabbed our wrists. Oh no. I quickly mouthed to Link to be prepared. "Let's go!" So yet again, Zelda dashed through the crowd to the door, while Link and I screamed for mercy. Actually, it wasn't a long trip. More like thirty seconds worth of a trip if you ask me. Here we are, at the Bombchu Bowling door. Like last time, Zelda let go of our wrists. And like last time, when I touch it, it hurts. We entered, and for a minute, I thought that that jukebox was a vending machine.

"Hey kids!" The lady at the counter waved at us. "You kiddies came here to play, right?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Alright!" She pumped a fist into the air. "Just grab a bombchu there, and aim it at the center. See?" The lady pointed to the alley. It's just like in the game; You grab a bombchu, aim it at the black center, and it'll blow up. I just have to make sure that the bombchu doesn't go into obstacles, like that rooster down there. "If you hit the center three times in a row, you get a prize! This round's prize is the Pictograph!" She held up a wooden camera. Strange...It looks like the camera in Windwaker. Meh. "Also, every game you play costs five rupees, so you'll need to pay up. M'kay?" After Zelda gave the woman five rupees, we grabbed a bombchu and started playing.

"Zelda..."

"Yes, Link?"

"Before I met you, I used to wonder, 'Is the Princess as beautiful as a Goddess-"

"Teehee! Thank you!" I noticed that her cheeks had turned to a light pink.

"Or is she an ugly pig?'" He made a face. Link's so dead. I saw the pink fading away very quickly. Zelda aimed her bombchu at Link, and it blew up in his face. Her bombchu affected Link's bombchu, so that one blew up as well. I had to laugh. He's all covered up in soot! And that lady at the counter sweatdropped! Classic! While Zelda kept yelling at Link about how not to call her ugly, I continued playing, and got three hits in a row. It's quite simple, especially if you repeatedly played this mini-game throughout your childhood.

"And we have a winner!" The woman announced, ringing a bell. The other two stopped whatever they were doing and watched as I recieved the Pictograph. I heard clapping.

"Congratulations, Stephanie!" Zelda cheered, clapping her hands. "Let's take a picture of us!"

"What a great idea!" The lady at the counter chirped. "I'll take your picture, so start posing, you cute kiddies!" I gave her the Pictograph and got in between Zelda and Link. We posed, and the lady took our pic. Man, that flash is a LITTLE too bright. The woman giggled. "Okay, I got it! See for yourself!" Because I won the Pictograph, I get to see the picture. Aww man, it's black and white! No color! However, my disappointment faded as I took a good look at it. Zelda was smiling, Link also smiled but not as good, and I was grinning while holding two fingers above Link's head. That's rich!

"Okay you two, your all's turn!" I gave the picture to my two companions.

"Alright! Great job, girl!" The woman pumped another fist into the air. "Our next prize is this!" She held up a purple tunic. Like the Pictograph, the tunic is Windwaker version. But I didn't care. I felt a strong urge coming from inside me. I have to get that tunic!

"You're on, lady!" I slammed my hands onto the counter. "Zelda, I need five rupees!"

"Hmm? Oh, okay." Zelda tossed me a blue rupee, and I handed it over to the woman. The woman, sweatdropping, took it slowly and pointed to the bombchu. I quickly grabbed that bombchu and aimed like I never did before. It wasn't long before I got all three hits in a row again.

"We...have a winner. Again." She handed over the tunic. "There's a dressing room in the back." I went into the dressing room. After locking the door, I took off my dirty green Kokiri tunic and put on my new purple Windwaker tunic. Ahh...This is definitely more comfortable than the other one! Taking the old one with me, I got out, only to be confronted by Link.

"Stephanie," he whined, "why did you do this!?" He showed me the photo, and pointed to where I held two fingers above his head. I laughed like a maniac.

"Because I felt like it, silly!" Link shook his head and gave me the photo.

"You look great in that tunic," Zelda complemented.

"Thanks!"

"Honey, you forgot something!" The counter lady held up my Pictograph. I took it, but she also gave me a bag. It's the same thing with the other two; It's in Windwaker version, and it's the Postman bag. "This is so you can carry all of your stuff around easily!" What's with all this Windwaker stuff? Sure, I can take a few changes in the storyline, but this is starting to be a bit much.

"Thanks, counter lady!"

"Come on, you two! Let's go shopping!" Zelda began to grab my wrist again, but this time I evaded the grab.

"Girl, I believe that we can just WALK there instead." Despite her pouting, we walked out and into the marketplace. There were people everywhere. A girl chased a cucco around, and some ass stole a bit of stuff from every stall. Zelda checked on all kinds of stuff, from clothes to shoes to make-up. Link and I just followed her. Sometime later, we arrived at a pet store. Poor animals were caged and sold for profit. I feel sorry for those little guys.

"Aww, wook at the wittle guy," Link cooed. I checked to see what he's talking about. A baby dragon. A baby dragon curled up in a cage, with a tear or two in his eyes. "I want him!" Link hugged the dragon's cage. I saw him flinch.

"Link, I think you're scaring him."

"But he's soooooo _cute_!!!"

"But, he costs seventy rupees." I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, I can pay for him." While Zelda payed for the baby, I mouthed to Link about how lucky he is to have a rich girl pay for his stuff. Link soon has his first pet, and the day soon turned to night. The three of us were back at the well. Link finally decided to let his pet out of the cage. As soon as he did that, however, the baby dragon whacked Link with his tail. Navi got knocked out of her resting place and became mad. Zelda and I laughed our heads off. Especially me. Just about everyone has had a piece of Link, it's so funny.

"Ow! Hey!" Fairy boy glared at his pet. The dragon put on puppy eyes. Link's glare soon melted. "Ooh! I can't stay mad at you!" He hugged his baby dragon. It would have been heart-warming, had the pet not breathed fire in Link's face.

"This is what you get for having a dragon as a pet."

"Shaddup, Navi!" We settled down, and sat on the edge of the well. Navi went back in Link's hat.

"Thanks, you two. I finally had fun."

"No probs, Zelda."

"What's wrong, boy?" I noticed that Link's pet started acting up. He's trying to squirm out of Link's arms.

"What's with that dragon?"

"AHH!"

"Girl, we know who you really are. Give us the Ocarina of Time!" I turned to see four or five Gerudos, armed with daggers. Holy whack-a-moley, Gerudos!? Zelda tried to run away. The Gerudo who demanded her for the ocarina charged at her, but Link jumped in and saved Zelda. He had his sword drawn out. Using it, Link's sword clashed with the Gerudo's dagger. "Hmm? And just who are you?" The Gerudo backed up. "Are you trying to save her?"

"I won't let her get hurt!" I then noticed that all of the thieve's eyes got wide.

"Fall back! Fall back!" What the hell? Don't tell me that these women are scared of a little boy! That's absurd! Whatever the reason, the thieves ran into an ally.

"Ah! Wait!" Agh! Why's Link chasing after them!?

"Link! Get your butt back here!!" Leaving Zelda, I chased after Link, who chased after the Gerudos, who seemed to have got away because Link stopped. I gasped for air. "Damn it, Link!" I panted. "Why didn't you just stay put!?"

"I can't forgive them!"

"Hey!" Navi, who seemed to have missed all the action, flew out of Link's hat. "What's going on? I was resting comfortably until all that racket came!"

"All you need to know is that Link did something stupid!"

"Hey!"

"Uhh...Where's Zelda?" I think my heart skipped a beat. Link and I exchanged glances. "Don't tell me you two left her all alone!" Shit. Ignoring Navi's yelling, we ran back, only to find Link's pet and Zelda's ocarina on the ground. Double shit. "Arrgh! I can't believe you two just left her here!"

"Well, excuuuuuuuuuuse us, Navi!"


	9. Chapter 8

**Yup. It's back.**

**I don't own Zelda or Odin Sphere.**

**Chapter Eight**

"What are you gonna name him, Link?" It's nightfall. We took the ocarina that Zelda left behind, and searched for an inn. There's only one, and it was booked for the night. So, we decided to sleep in the ally.

"I dunno. Why don't you name him?"

"He's _your_ pet, not mine."

"I know, but I can't really think of a name. Well, other than Link Jr.!"

"I really worry for your future kids. That is, if you have any."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing." I scratched the chin of Link's dragon, who is currently resting on his lap. "Now, let's see...What about Hindel?"

"Isn't that a girl's name?"

"Beggars can't be choosin'!"

"But, it sounds too much like a girl's name! And my pet's a boy!" I groaned.

"Fine! I'll choose something else! So... Belial?"

"It sounds like a hag's name."

"Wagner?"

"Heck no!"

"I'm losing my patience!"

"Okay, the next one you choose, I'll take it!" About time. I'll have to think of a good name, then.

"Alright...Volvagia!" Link raised a brow.

"Volvagia?"

"Volvagia!" I petted the newly named pet. "You like the name 'Volvagia'?" Volvagia rubbed his head against my hand. "I'll take that as a yes! From now on, your new name is Volvagia!" Link yawned.

"I'm getting sleepy. You?"

"Not at all. Get Navi." He did as he was told, and shook Navi off of his head.

"Ack! What in the-"

"Navi! There's something I need you to do!"

"What!?"

"Since all you've done is rest for the day, I need you to patrol the area while the rest of us are sleeping."

"Will you properly ask next time?"

"Yes!"

"Then okay." While Navi patrolled, Link soon drifted to sleep, along with Volvagia. I took out my ocarina and began practicing. It took a while, but I managed to figure out which holes I need to cover for each note I play. I played Saria's song several times. Then, I practiced some more. Finally, I got sleepy and put the ocarina in the bag. So far, everything except the sheild and the scythe is in the bag. It's huge to say the least. Despite sleeping against a wall, I slept comfortably. I was having a dream, about Zoras and Gorons. They were having a wrestling match, and for some odd reason, the Zoras won. How fish can win against rocks is beyond me! I was watching the thirty-second round 'til Navi woke me up. "Hey! Wake up! It's daytime, let's go to the castle!" I rubbed my eyes and yawned.

"Yeah, yeah." Since Link didn't wake up from Navi's voice, I shook him hard. This startled Volvagia, and he breathed fire at me. Now THAT'S a wake up call! After cleaning off the soot from my face, we grabbed our stuff and headed towards the castle. That one's the inn we couldn't get a room in, that's the Temple of Time, and that one is...wait. What _is _that? I saw that people, men particulary, were heading in. They looked greedy when going in, and satisfied when they got out. I also noticed that a few women in slutty clothes of sorts were welcoming the men. I felt sick; I knew what was going on in there.

"Stephanie? What are you staring at?"

"Nothing Link, let's just keep going!" I shoved him as hard as I can to get away from here.

"Hey! You're scaring my baby dragon!"

"S-T-F-U NOOB!"

"_What!?_"

"Just go!!" God, we've made a scene. As I shoved Link and his pet to the castle, people stared at us like we're crazy. Well, whatever! I need to get away from there. After a few complaints from Link, we made it! To the gate, that is. A guard stood beside the gate.

"Sir, excuse me," Link began,"but may we pass through so we can meet with the princess?" The man in armor looked down on us.

"Bwahahah! Who'd let two kids like you go in-AAUUUGH!" That took me a few seconds to realize that he had seen Volvagia. "IT'S LEVIATHAN! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!" The guard, frightened, took up his spear and backed away a bit. "STAY BACK, YOU BEAST!" Seeing this as a threat, I also backed up.

"Ya know, let's just go around the gate. I don't wanna be in trouble at the moment." Link nodded, and we turned back, leaving behind the lunatic. We stopped by a huge wall with vines on it, thick enough to climb on.

"What was up with that guy?"

"A better question is: How'd he know about Leviathan?"

"Well, now that he saw us with the dragon, he won't let us get by easily." Navi made a good point. However, I've a better idea.

"No worries, my small fairy-like friend! We'll just climb up those vines!" I pointed to the green thingies on the wall.

"Is it safe?"

"Of course it is! It's a hundred percent safe! What's with you blondies, always making such a big deal out of everything!?"

"What I meant to say was, is it safe for my pet dragon?"

"Oh umm...I dunno...Oh wait! Can't Volvagia fly?"

"Well..."

"Oh come on! He's got wings!" It's true. That dragon has wings, surely he knows how to fly by now.

"We'll give it a shot." Link lowered his pet onto the ground.

"Purrr."

"Come on, boy! Let's see you fly!" The boy bent down on his knees and patted them gently. Volvagia, however, just puffed some black smoke from his nostrils. "Come on, boy..." Link was getting impatient, that I know.

"Teehee! What are y'all doin'?" I created a small chain of events. Being startled, I jumped back and landed on Link's foot. He yelped, and slapped Volvagia on the cheek. Vovlagia, also startled, immediately breathed fire in his direction. In other words, he burnt poor Navi into a crisp. I know, because I heard an annoying 'Hey!'.

"GAHH! WHO IN HELL ARE YOU!? ARE YOU A RAPIST, A MOLESTER, A-"

"Errm...What's a rapist?" I realized I wasn't talking to any stranger. That stranger was Malon. She wore a plain white dress, and brown boots. She cocked her head one side. She's expecting me to give her an answer...! Aaaah! Think, Stephanie, think, think, _think_!!

"Uh, ah, a-a rapist is, uh, a thief! Yeah, a thief!" Yeeeaaaah. A thief of virginities, that is. "Uh, anyway-"

"Stephanie! Get off of my foot!" Link wailed right behind me. After doing so, I repeated my question.

"Anyways, what I was saying was, who the heck are you, and what are YOU doing in this place?" Pretty useless question, I know. The long, red-haired girl with blue eyes smiled.

"I'm Malon, and I'm from Lon Lon Ranch! I came to check out the scenery!" I nodded a bit.

"Ah...I see." I couldn't think of anything else to say, really, so I scratched the back of my head. Just how long is she going to stand there, until she asks about a favor and hand us an egg? Mmmmmmm, egg. Haa...This is getting nowhere! I might as well ask her. "Hey, do ya know some fat guy who's supposed to be delivering milk?" Malon made a face that clearly states she's offended.

"My papa is NOT FAT! He's just round, that's all!"

"Er, excuse me," Link began,"but is your papa's name Talon?" Malon reverted back to her cheery self in an instant. Damn, that was creepy!

"Why yes! But, how'd ya know?"

"He helped us get here!" She giggled.

"That's nice of Pa-"

"HEY!! GET AWAY FROM MEEEEE!" Who in hell!? I laid my eyes on the little firefly. Navi, apparently, is getting chased. By the looks of it, I'd say that Volvagia is hungry. Now that I think about it...when was the last time he ate something? Link went after his pet.

"Noo! Bad dragon, bad!" Well, can't be helped. Then something hit me- mentally, that is.

"Oh crap! Link, we gotta go! Pronto!"

"Waaah! I would, but Volvagia won't listen to me!"

"Come on, already!" This went for a while. I then felt a light tap on my shoulder.

"Ya know, I'm quite good with animals. I've grown up with them my entire life!" I looked at Malon. She gave me one of those huge, and I mean HUGE, smiles. She also gave me an idea.

"Hey! Link!" He only gave me a glance before he went chasing again.

"-Huff huff- Yeah!?"

"Why don't Malon take care of Volvagia for a while?" He stopped dead in his tracks.

"W-what?"

"Think about it. We can go on and whatever, and who else to take care of your baby other than Malon? Besides, she won't mind!" From the corner of my eye, I can tell that Malon is nodding.

"But-"

"Link, so far all your pet has done is nothing but slow us down. We can't get delayed any longer, dude! Ah, no offense of course." I made sure to say that, so he won't feel as bad. I hope. He took a long look at his dragon.

"...I guess." He finally picked up Volvagia and handed him over to Malon. "You make sure to take care of him while we're gone, 'kay?"

"Yessiree! It'll be like taking care of a new baby horse that's hot on a hot summer day in the middle of Summer-"

"Uh, that's good enough." I interrupted. She put Volvagia down and reached into her pocket.

"By the way...I have a favor to ask of y'all. Ya see, my papa went to deliver some milk earlier after eatin' that fine-roasted owl, but he hasn't come back since. Sooo...," she took out a cucco egg,"if y'all see my papa, use this. He's probably sleepin' right now." That egg...it's so oval, so white, so...perfect for breakfast! Must. Not. Crack. Egg! I started twitching frenzily all over. "Are ya alright, hon? Yer actin' all crazy!" Malon exclaimed.

"It wouldn't surprise me if she's having a mental breakdown. Well, not much anyway. Link, go take the egg." He did what Navi told him to do and took it. "Malon, we'll make sure to tell your father to get back home as soon as possible."

"Golly, thanks!"

"And Stephanie, PLEASE quit twitching and let's go. You said that we can't get delayed any longer, so hurry up!" I settled down a bit.

"On it, sir! I mean ma'am! I mean- doh!" After saying goodbye to good ol' Malon and Volvagia, we climbed up the vines and made it up top. Well...That's what I'd like to believe. Navi didn't have any trouble because she can fly. Link didn't seem to have much trouble. It was kinda obvious he's good at gymnastics. As for me...Let's just say that it took a while, okay? After finally making it to the top, we looked around. There was a stone bridge a little above the gate. Another guard in armor stood near, but he snored very loudly. Navi flew over to the guard and checked on him. After about two minutes, she came back.

"It seems the guard is sleeping. You two must be careful though; He could wake up anytime soon." We nodded, and began tip-toeing to the bridge. As we made our way, I motioned for my two companions to follow me. Finding the square hole with the ladder, we climbed down and opened the door. We began to walk up the hill, but stopped. Two more guards are blocking the path. And they're not sleepy, either.

"More guards?" Link asked. I patted him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. There's two ways I know of to get past them."

"What are they?"

"One of them is the long way. You would have to climb up that hill, the one with all that green stuff. Then, you must carefully cross over the grassy land, avoiding all of the guards. Be sure to go all the way to the far left of the gate. There should be stones on a dirt wall you can climb up on. After doing so, cross over and jump into the water. Let the flow of the water take you to your destination. And that's pretty much it for getting to the castle."

"And what's the other one?"

"The second one is a shortcut, but it's considered a glitch in your game. Okay, you see that little corner? There, where there's like a huge boulder on one end and the other end has those guards? Yeah, that's the one. Usually, you wouldn't be able to climb up that corner, but in the game, if you walked slowly, the game would allow you to just walk up. I don't think that tactic will work this time, though. However..." I made my way to the corner. "If I cut out walking steps with my scythe, we should be able to get up that ledge without any problem."

"Alright, let's take the shortcut. The sooner, the better!" And so, I began cutting out the corner with my scythe. It wasn't easy though. It was hard enough to even make a dent! It was sundown when I finished. Link yawned.

"I can't believe it took such a long time!"

"My bad, Link."

"Hey! At least it's done. Let's just find a place afterwards, and hide out for the night." I sighed.

"Navi's right. Let's...go." Thanks to the walking steps, we had no trouble of getting on top of that ledge. We kept on walking straight ahead. Finally, at the edge, we were able to see the flowing water and all that. Link peered down.

"Stephanie, how do we get down? It's pretty high up." My eyes widened. Oh shit! I forgot about that! And there's no doubt that the pain around here is real! But...I really don't know any other way.

"Err...Jump down?"

"Are you crazy!?" He harshly whispered. "We could be seriously hurt!"

"Well, excuuuuuuuuuuse me, Mr. Hero, but do YOU see any other way? I certainly don't!"

"But...but..."

"Look, we're going to jump, and that's final. Just try jumping into the water, and if you can't, try rolling on the ground the minute you hit it. On the count of three...Ready?" The boy straightened up, and got ready.

"Ready!"

"Alright! One...Two...Three! Jump now!" I bit my bottom lip to keep myself from screaming as we fell down. It all went so fast. I think the worst part of it is that there's no guarantee that you'll land safely. You either get wet, or end up in the hospital. And since the timeline here is pretty much set in medivial time, I REALLY do not want to end up in one. I thought I'd died...Turns out, I'm just wet.

"We-we made it?" I stammered. Then, in a really loud voice I shouted,"WE MADE IT!!" A hand slapped my mouth shut.

"Sssshhhhhhhhh!" Link shushed.

"Hey! Who goes there?" Ohhhh crap. I messed up badly. The guards are onto us!

"Link, hold your breathe and dive!"

"On it, Steph!" Taking in as much air as we possibly could, we plunged into the water. I didn't like how the water went into my ears, but I liked how it took us far away from the guards. As our bodies were being pushed against some bars by the flowing water, the guards that searched the place went back. Afterwards, Link and I pushed our bodies up to breathe. "Stephanie, please don't shout again."

"Sorry 'bout that. Now, let's find a place to sleep and hide."


	10. Chapter 9

**Yay! Chapter nine!**

**I don't own Zelda. **

We scanned the area. There were some crates stacked up on top of another. There's a huge tree that's great for hiding, but we may get noticed if we walked towards it. And finally, there were three huge lumps on the ground that would be a somewhat decent hiding place if we laid on the ground. Hold that thought...lumps?

I climbed out of the water and hoisted Link up. Our clothes were soaking wet, and not only that, the evening was cold, which made it worse. I shivered as I stumbled over to these lumps, wondering what the hell they are. I examined them very closely; The three were connected. The left end had brownish boots made for farming. The main part was a huge shade of blue with a weird lion thing on it, and it's sides have short sleeves of red. The right end was all _hairy_. It's nasty! Even the balding thing on it's side had hair! In fact, anything that wasn't colored was hairy! And I had just realized that it was Talon. Ugh.

"S-s-s-s-s-s-so w-w-w-what d-do we d-d-do noooooow?" Link's teeth chattered uncontrollably.

"L-l-l-et's j-just h-hide be-behind t-t-t-the crates a-and g-g-g-g-get c-c-comf-fortable." We slowly bent down behind the huge boxes. It felt like I had icicles poking inside my clothing, and I'm pretty sure Link felt the same way. My eyelids felt heavy, and before I knew it, I drifted off to sleep.

"COCK-A-DOOODLE-DOOOOOOOOO!!"

"AAAHHHHH!! HELP ME!"

"DON'T WORRY SONNY, I'LL GET THAT ROOSTER!" Gah, what the hell, man! What the hell! I had to rub my eyes to make them open. When they did, something strange and yet humorous occurred before them. It was morning, so that meant the egg hatched into a rooster. Link was probably too sleepy to hear it's awakening call or that he didn't want to be bothered with it, but whatever the reason, he didn't take the bird out of his pocket and now it's trying to kill him. I guess Talon woke up by that sound, because after all, only a rooster could wake up the guy. Right now, the hero was running and dancing like he has an atomic wedgie, and Talon's trying to get the rooster off of him. Ahh...A sunny morning with a comedy show. Now I just need some breakfast and it'll be perfect!

"About time you woke up," Navi said. I rubbed my eyes again. "I was trying to wake you up. I'm a bit surprised as to how you didn't hear the rooster."

"I did, too!"

"After about the fifth-teenth time. And yes, I DID count."

"Wow, you must be pretty bored, then."

"Anyway, how in the world can you sleep through something as loud as that?" I shrugged.

"I dunno. Oh, by the way, did you know that I once slept through a fire alarm?"

"...Let's just go help Link."

"Aye-aye, Captain!" I got up and started chasing fairy boy. But after a while, we _still_ had to keep chasing. I couldn't take it anymore. "I can't go on," I gasped dramatically. "I can't keep up. I need a break." Humming to myself, I quit the chasing game and sat back down.

**WHACK!**

"OWW!!"

"Stephanie, help or else-"

"Navi, Stephanie, look! Talon got that crazy bird off me!" Link grinned happily, yet he winced as he kept rubbing his rear end. Eh, he must've put the egg in his back pocket. Talon held the bird high as it rested peacefully. Maybe this is why chickens don't like fairy boy? The fat man chuckled.

"Now then youngins, is there any particular reason why you're here?" I got up and dusted off my tunic.

"Yeah, about that...Malon, your daughter, said that you haven't come back ever since you delivered some milk, and thought that you went to sleep. So she-"

"AAHH! MALON!? OH NO, OH NO, I'M GONNA GET IT NOW!" He threw the chicken into the water. "WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEE!" The man dashed off, leaving only a big pile of dust in the air. And the chicken that just drowned. Link scratched the back of his head.

"What's up with him?" I shrugged.

"Probably parental abuse, who knows?" I proceeded to push the crates into the water. "Give me a hand here! It's tough to do this alone!" We both pushed the heavy boxes at a slow rate. They say that slow and steady wins the race, but dangnabbit! I wanna go fast! Finally, the crates made a splash as they landed into the water. Link bent down on his knees and started to breathe heavily.

"Hey, why did you want to push these things, anyway?"

"Well, it's so that we can jump to that opening there. See?" I pointed to the opening that would lead us to the castle courtyard. "Lucky for us, huh?"

"You said it."

"Hey! We've no time to waste!"

"We know that, Navi!" It was tough at first climbing up the crates, but soon enough, we past all of that and jumped to the opening one at a time. Link went first. Now it's my turn. I jumped, but when I caught his hand he almost slipped and fell! Thankfully, he was able to pull me up, and we were ready to go. The two of us crawled through the hole, and what do ya know? We're in the castle courtyard! I squealed in glee as I jumped up and down. "This is so awesome! We're in a castle man! In a CASTLE!" My companion poked my shoulder and held a finger to his lips. Oh, right.

We trotted to this green trimmed bush and hid behind it. It's kinda neat how you can hide yourself when you're small, huh? Anyway, I pulled apart some of its bushiness and took furtive glances. Right now, only one guard patrolled the area, walking around a square bush. Putting the bushiness back in its place, I told Link what to do and what not to do.

"Okay, Link. Ready?"

"Ready!"

"Alright. Go!" We dashed through the path the minute the guard wasn't looking. The minute we came to another bush, we immediately jumped inside of it to conceal ourselves.

"Ow ow ow!"

"Ssshhhhhh! Quiet, boy!" Peering through the bushes, I noticed this time there were two square fountains sprinkling water. And guess what? Now there are two guards! Oh well, it doesn't matter. I then smelled something weird. Something...funky. "Link, did you just pass gas!?"

"It wasn't me, I swear!"

"Navi?"

"Stephanie, it wasn't me, either!"

"Well, I know it wasn't me but...where is it coming from?" Hmm...now that I think about it, it doesn't really smell like you-know-what. No, far from it. It's more like...alcohol! Using my hand, I felt around the bush, until it came across the culprit. I picked it up and looked at it, only to be confused.

"Stephanie, what is it?" Link asked.

"It's a bottle of rum," I replied with curiosity in my voice. "It's this stuff that only adults can drink. It can be poisonous, too. But what I don't understand is, what's it doing here?" The bottle was a rusty red with a faded parchment on it, labeling it 'RUM'. There was some left, but not much. It only took a small whiff from the top to almost make me throw up. This stuff is nasty!

"Hey, can I see it for a minute?" I just stared at the elven boy.

"Why?"

"You'll see soon." His face was plastered with a smile. I reluctantly gave him the bottle.

"Fine. But if we get caught, you're done for." He nodded as he took it. Then almost immediately, he aimed the bottle near one of the guards and threw it! I covered my face. Oh man, we are SO screwed! Link then poked my arm.

"Stephanie, look! Now's our chance to escape!" I only uncovered my eyes to see what was happening. Oddly enough, the two guards were fighting over it.

"Hey, that's mine! I found it first!"

"No way! I found it first! Besides, you already had your fill at last night's party!" Party? The soldiers had a party? Before I had time to think, the boy pulled my arm and moved to the next bush as quickly as possible. When we settled down, I decided to ask him something.

"Hey Link."

"Yeah?"

"How'd you know the soldiers had a party last night?" He raised a brow.

"Actually, I didn't. I just thought that since adults drink this stuff, they might want more." I clapped my hands.

"Good thinking there! And I thought we were about to be done for!"

"Hey, you guys!"

"What is it, Navi?" I asked.

"I'd just checked the next area, and needless to say, you'll have a difficult time passing the guy without crossing the plank on top."

"Plank on top?...There were a lot of rupees around, huh?"

"Yes, why?" Damnit, I hate this part!

"Ah, nothing. Come on, let's go." I was about to get out, but Navi pushed me back. "Ow! What the-"

"Stephanie, did you not hear me?"

"I DID hear you! I was just going to the plank until YOU had to butt in!"

"NO! What I said was...Oh never mind! Look, I'll distract him while you two cross over. Understand?"

"Oooooh right! Giggity!"

"...I'll take that as a yes." Navi flew over to the guard that's patrolling like crazy. Picking up one of the rupees, she slowly waved it in front of the guy's face. "Oh great soldier of Hyrule, do you want this rupee?" The man stopped, nodded vigorously.

"Yes! Yes, I do!"

"Then look closely." The fairy continued to wave it in front of him, and I guess he just kept on staring.

"Come on dude, I think it's our cue." Getting out of yet another bush, we scuttled to the plank with ease and made our way to the next stop. This time, however, a stone wall was in place of the bush. Carefully, I took a peek behind it. Again, two guards were scouting the area. But instead of two fountains, some huge statue with a weird looking guy was in their place. I slowly clawed the wall. It's getting tougher and tougher!

"Pssssst!"

"Hnn, yeah? What is it, Link?"

"Did you notice?"

"Notice...what?"

"They're walking in some sort of pattern! Look!" Oh yeah, that's right, they are! When one soldier moved to one corner, he stopped and seemed to stare straight ahead. The one behind him only stops one corner behind, and also seemed to stare in the direction he's facing. Nice! I quickly devised a plan.

"Okay, fairy boy, when those two are far away, we go. Got it?" He nodded. "Good. Now, get ready." So far, so good. One guard was already at the other side of the statue. Once the other gets there, we'll take that chance and run. I felt the excitement growing inside of me. Come on, Mr. Guard, take a few more steps! Come on already! _COME ON!!_

My wish was finally granted. The man made it to the corner! I was so deeply touched that I felt like crying. Well, not really but...whatever! We sprinted to what looked like our final stop before getting into the castle gardens. How? For one thing, instead of the bush being straight in front of us, it was kind of in a vertical row so we had to go around a bit to hide. In fact, the area was placed in a vertical position instead of the usual horizontal way. That, and another two guards were around. But this time, the ones here are a lot faster. I gulped.

"Stephanie, how do we get past these guys?"

"...Uhh...Run faster than usual?" Link frowned.

"Erm, I don't think that'll help much."

"Sorry."

"Hey!"

"Navi!" We both exclaimed at the same time.

"You wouldn't believe that man! He thought I was some sort of 'Rupee Goddess'! To be honest, the castle guards are lacking, don't you agree?" Oh, I SURE do! Up until now, I didn't realize the guards were a disapproving bunch. They even let rum get the better of them! I wonder what kind of crack the King was smoking when he assigned all of them on guard duty, anyway?

"Um, Navi," I began asking,"will you go check this area? We're not sure how to get past these dudes this time."

"My pleasure." She flew high up into the air, and began her research. For the next few minutes, Link and I just kind of sat here, doing nothing. After several more minutes of waiting, she came back. "As far as I'm concerned, those two are in a pattern. They stop whenever they're at corners or when they're in the middle of the rectangular bush."

"Ah, thanks girl."

"Your welcome." I wonder if she smiled? No time to think about that right now, though. We gotta get through! The elf got into a running stance in front of me. I just kinda crouched. When the guards got on the right side of this area, we ran like we never did before! Unfortunately, I heard the guards' footsteps. They were coming! Oh man! That fast already!? I was afraid of saying something because of our current situation. Link's already ahead. Come on legs, go GO _GO!!_

Oh crap. Now where's he at? He was just in front of me a minute ago! Suddenly, something grabbed me by the left arm and pulled me to another nearby bush. Enough with the freakin' bushes already!

"It's just me," Link said. "I pulled you here so you wouldn't get noticed."

"Well, that's certainly nice of you." He nodded, and we waited until the guards went to the other side again. When they did, we got out and proceeded to the castle gardens.

It's beautiful. A small garden patch full of colorful blossoming flowers is in the center. The land that can be seen here is nice and grassy. Water flowing in a stone channel circled the area. And since the sun is shining out, it really brings out the beauty. We continued walking towards someone in a dress, who appeared to be staring at a window. Now, we were only a few feet away from the princess.

"Uh...Excuse me..." Link began in a nervous tone.

"Link...Stephanie...It's been a while, hasn't it?" The princess turned around. Zelda was in her usual princess gown as a child. It's not big and poofy, but it has some pretty colors like white and purple. I wonder if anyone told her that she look's like a nun? I got out Zelda's ocarina.

"Yo, elf boy! Give her the Kokiri Emerald!" But all he did was just stand there with a huge red blush on his face.

"Link, did you not hear her?" Navi asked, though it was quite loud.

"Huh? Oh, right!" About time he got the darn thing out! We both gave her the items.

"Zelda, ya kinda left the ocarina behind. I think it was on accident. That's why we have it," I explained. She nodded.

"Thank you." Hn? What's with her? She keeps on staring at it! Link started to laugh nervously.

"Haha. What a surprise! How it'd turn out like this, that is..." Then almost immediately, she puts on this serious face and hides the ocarina. What's her problem?

"Greetings, Princess Zelda. I've come to meet with your father."


	11. Chapter 10

**Meh. I feel like I use the word 'was' too much. And I know I've been putting this off for a while; okay scratch that, it's been, like, six months. Apparently, I'm too much of a procrastinator to keep simple things. DX But it's not like I'll discontinue it right now; that's only if I abandon hope for the human race.**

**I don't own Zelda.**

"EEP!" I hid behind Link. It's the Evil Green Pickle of the Valley of Red Hairs! Who ELSE could it be!? This atrocity paid no mind to me.

"Sir Ganondorf," Zelda began, "how rude of you to enter this courtyard without permission!" He merely smirked and made his way down.

"I am very sorry." The man stopped, and bowed. "It would be an honor to be allowed to affiliate with the rest of Hyrule. No country, nor princess, is more beautiful." Hmm...If Ruto heard this, I'm pretty sure she would have a fit.

"Flattery is not needed. Step away from me!" I frowned. That guy didn't even move an inch!

"THE PRINCESS HAS SPOKEN, PICKLE. GO LEAVE." Ganon had some irritation written across his face, but still ignored me.

"By the way..." He went back to being 'nice' again, "the treasure passed down through the royal family...the 'Ocarina of Time'...You have it, do you not, princess? I wonder...Could you show it to me sometime?"

"I do not know what you speak of," Zelda responded, her voice firm. "I heard about the same thing from those ruffians yesterday. Acquaintences of yours, maybe?" Ooooh, whattya gonna do now, man? Link glared at him.

He made no reply, but instead walked on out. As he did so, he gave Link, eh, some sort of stare. Fairy boy repayed him. Ganon gave him another one, and finally left. Thank God, I thought they were gonna do a loophole or something.

"Zelda, who was that guy?" Fairy boy asked.

"That was Ganondorf, the leader of the Gerudo tribe, who live in the far west." She sighed. "Right now, he swears loyalty to my father, but...That man's real objective is the Triforce, which is in this country's holy land."

"The Triforce!? Then, that's the guy the Great Deku Tree was talking about!" They sat down, and started yapping and talking about dreams, evil clouds, bright lights, and yadda, yadda, yadda. Meanwhile, I was trying to annoy the guards by pelting rocks at the window. It didn't work, though. I got sad.

"Uhh...Fairy...Stone?" My companion pointed at himself. Huh? Where are they, anyway?

"Ever since I first saw you, I've known that you were the one...who appeared in the dream." Zelda rubbed her hands together, like it was cold outside, and folded her arms. "I am afraid. That Ganondorf...there is no mistake that he represents those black clouds in the dream. I feel that...his dark heart will destroy Hyrule. But, my father will not believe me..."

"I believe you," Link jumped in. "The Great Deku Tree died because of his dark power." I waved my hand like a schoolgirl.

"Ooh, ooh, I believe you too! For different reasons, though." I muttered the last part.

"We must not give up the Triforce to that man," she declared.

"Where is this Triforce? Where is the holy land?"

"Got a lotta questions, don't ya?"

"The entrance to the holy land is in the-"

"Oh, this is easy! Temple of Time, baby! And to open it, ya need three stones; one from the forest place, one from the Gorons, and one from the Zoras!"

"How-"

"Oh yeah, ya also need that Ocarina o' Time thing. Gotta have it, yes." Zelda looked shocked beyond belief.

"Th-that's...that's just not possible! Only the royal family knows of this...Are you one of us?"

"Emmm.........no?"

"Then how-"

"Princess, don't worry!" Link assured. "She hasn't really done anything that makes her a bad person. Besides, if she IS evil..." He took out his sword. Holy crap! Link's gone violent!

"Hey! I thought you were on my side! Jerk!" I crossed my arms and puffed my cheeks. He shrugged and put his sword up.

"Anyway, we'll find those stones for you! You just need to make sure the ocarina's safe." Zelda examined her ocarina for some time.

"...Okay. Perhaps I should tell you about the Sacred Realm?"

"Naw, miss, we need to get going. Bad. But thanks; I can fill Link in on the way." She eyed me.

"It seems so...Well, best of luck to both of you." She faced Link. "I believe in you." What about me!? Link blushed a bit. He started scratching his back and shrunk down a bit.

"Naaah, I'm not-- I didn't do anything..."

"I see everyone's fine here." I flinched, and found her nanny standing right behind us. My partner made a 'Wah!' sound and jumped. I hate how she did that!

"Hello Impa, this is the person from the forest that I saw in my dream. Oh, this is Impa, my attendant. She's part of the Sheikah tribe." Impa gave a small nod.

"I am the one that protects the princess. I saw everything at the market yesterday, including that fight with those theives."

"That was a fight?" The attendant noticed me quickly.

"Ah, you were that girl within the princess' company. You are quite informative. As for you, " she laid her eyes on the boy,"I saw that you are a courageous boy that can be entrusted with the princess' wishes."

"Haha, Honestly. You can see through anything!" Zelda gushed.

"Uhh, hey, Zel?"

"Hm?"

"Could I get your autograph?" I held out my hand. She raised a brow.

"My autograph? For what?"

"Ya know, so we could get through the gates to that place of the Gorons."

"Death Mountain?"

"Yeeeeeaaah, that's right."

"Death Mountain doesn't have these 'gates' you speak of."

"Say WHAT!?!"

"That's right." Her face was still perplexed. "People rarely go there anyway. It's a bit far away." I sighed.

"Haaah, whatever. Hey Link, let's go." I grabbed Link by the arm and pulled him to the exit.

"Ah, wait!" Zelda rushed to Link's side. "Be careful, okay?" She gave him a peck on the cheek. His face became all red like an apple and a sigh escaped his lips. Suddenly, he zipped pass us and ran out.

"W-who the hell is that?!"

"AUGH!!! The royal urn!"

"That little ruffian! Catch him!" That boy is _shameless_.

* * *

After that little fiasco, we got kicked out. Link managed to mess up an entire kitchen, aquired the attention of just about every guard, and even turned paintings upside down along the way. Now that's talent! Anyhoo, Impa caught him and showed him the land outside the window, which was like, eh, I'd say three stories high. Sadly, she threw him out when he called her an old granny. She then led me out of the huge place. So here we are, walking to our destination that is Death Mountain.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah way! That guy was all like,' Oh screw you,' and she was all like, 'Oh yeah, take this!' He stayed in the hospital for _months_."

"So this is what they call 'television'?"

"Yup! Bet you wish you had one of those, huh?"

"It would be interesting. I'd like to see this 'soap opera' you speak of. But honestly, I want to try out that foot massager. That would be nice."

"Yeah, but you don't even use your feet! What about you, Link?" The only response I received was the sound of merry whistling. "Uhh, Link?" Nothing. "Link?" Nada. "Lii-iiiink. Oh, Liiii-iink!" Still nothin'. "Link." God, his name doesn't sound like one anymore! "_LINK!_"

"Eh?" He finally answered in a daze. "You say something just now?" Navi whacked him upside the head. "OW!"

"Geez!" The fairy scolded. "She just called your name seven times already!"

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"I bet the only thing on your mind right now is Princess Zelda! Have you forgotten about Saria?" Ooookaaay, I don't know how Saria just got in this conversation, but okay.

"N-no! It's not like that!" He took out the ocarina that Saria gave him. "Hmmm......" He gazed at the instrument for a while, and before long started playing Saria's Song. While the melody filled the cool air, I heard some strange animal sound. Before I knew it, my face was tasting the sweet flavors of dirt.

"Mmmph!" I got up and spit out the brown stuff. "What the heck just happened!?" And then I saw it.

Link was playing a serenade for a horse. Fairy boy ran around in circles and stepped backward. But no matter what he did, the horse followed him. The boy stopped and gasped for air.

"Wow, boy! You like this ocarina, don't you?" Link exclaimed in between his breaths. As if the four-legged animal understood, it nodded. The green-clothed hero petted its head. "Awww! Such a good boy you are!"

"I think it's a colt," Navi assumed. Come to think of it, this horse seems familiar...

"Hey Link?"

"Yeah?"

"Could ya hold him for a sec? I wanna take a good look." After he settled the animal down, I went about examining. The colt has sleek brown fur with a striking white mane. A streak of white divided the creature's eyes. Oh yeah... "It's Epona! By the way, it's a girl."

"Huh?" Link rubbed the young thing's mane. "I thought it was a boy...Where'd you get the name, anyway?"

"Oh, that? Uhh...Remember 'bout Lon Lon Ranch?"

"Yes?"

"Yeah, Malon has horses there. Looks like this one got out. I wonder how far away it is? Oh well, doesn't matter, hey let's hurry up to the ranch, we gotta get something."

"Wait, we have to-"

**"**Come on, man, let's go!" I grabbed ahold of Link's wrists, but he wriggled it out. "What in the world are you doing?"

"Stephanie, did you forget? We have to get to Death Mountain."

"But-but-"

"But nothing!" Navi objected. "Besides, what in the world are we going to do in a horse ranch?" Ooh boy, this is tough...

"Uhh.....Play some games, learn a song, and win a milk...bottle?"

**SMACK!**

"Are you telling me that while Hyrule is in danger, you want to go somewhere else and win a _MILK BOTTLE!?!?!?!_"

"But it's a FREE bottle!"

**WHACK!**

"It restores stamina!"

**BAM!**

"It's MILK for God's sake!"

**POW!**

"Okay, okay, I get your point!" With a bloody nose and a black eye, Link and I climbed aboard the Epona Express and galloped away to Death Mountain.

* * *

The hardened rock road before us was showered with rocks and boulders constantly. A ring of smoke circled the peak of Death Mountain. The clouds that came out of this volcano billow to the path, making the road somewhat hazy. We ventured up the path that spiraled upward the mountain, having to dodge said rocks. Travelling for me wasn't easy; I had to carry a scythe along with a messenger bag, and I was at the back end of the colt, which ment I kept on sliding off. After about the fiftieth time, I got irrated and decided that I would walk. With massive poundings from Ms. Annoyance, the air (which wasn't that good, I might add), and the situation I was in, I could tell this wasn't my day. After what seemed like forever, we came to a stop and rested a bit. Link hopped off Epona and looked over a strange-looking boulder.

"Stephanie, do these 'Gorons' really live in a place like this? There's nothing but rocks."

"Well -cough-, the Gorons I think live in heated -cough cough- conditions. I think they eat rock meat." I resumed to coughing.

"Hm? You don't look so good..." I wonder how he could take this... All of a sudden, the boulder stood up.

Wait. What?

Link made an 'oof!' sound and landed on his back. It's fat face peered down on Link.

"Oh? How rare, goro. A guest, goro?" Should've figured.

"Hey Mr. Goron -wheeze-, where's the Goron City? We need to -cough- go there." The Goron scratched his head.

"That is where the Goron Tribe lives, goro. But it's dangerous for kids, goro."

"Dude, we're carrying sharp objects that can poke our eyes out and you're telling us that we can't go to your-" I had to stop and cough my lungs out, "-home because it's dangerous?" Oh God, I feel dizzy.

"Yeah, that's right!" Link exclaimed. "Take us there, please! We need to get the sto-AUUGH!!!" The poor boy just got rolled over by a passing Goron.

"Hey!" Navi went to go get him.

"Hey Link! -wheeze- You forgot to say: 'Take me to your leader!'!" I called after him.

Link suffered no serious injury, but his face was still red from the 'incident'. Once that was over, he mounted onto his 'noble steed' and we followed the generous Goron into their city. It was like a large, spacious dome; thick ropes tied to the ends of carved rock paths held a small rock in middair in place. There were at least four or five carved paths in place. The level we were on had several Gorons just leisurely walking along. A huge rolling Goron rolled in circles, leaving a dirt cloud behind it. There was a wooden fence that kind of looked brittle placed along the paths. Some Gorons ran, others were talking, and a few were sitting on the edges. Litted torches were scattered around. At the very bottom, there was a REALLY big pot that had different kinds of faces.

We walked to the very center of the Goron City. Before us was a grumpy-looking Goron who actually had hair; however, the sticked out everywhere. He was sitting Indian-style, with his cheek resting on his hand. His legs and arms were totally ripped; you could see veins popping out. Gross. There were some weird-bracelet thingies covering his ankles and wrists, and a tatoo that resembled the Spiritual Stone of Fire was on his left arm. Two thick white dash marks were on the corners of each eye. This was the leader of the Gorons, Darunia.

"Uh, excuse me, sir..." My companion began.

"WHAT!?" His loud voice actually shook the area. No, _really_. Link stumbled a bit; I fell on my butt.

"We-we'd like to get the stone!" The leader glared.

"Which stone? SPECIFY! There are plenty of them here!"

"Erk...He means the Spiritual Stone of Fire." He huffed some steam from his nose.

"How would a kid like you know this?"

"Well, I-"

"Don't speak!" Basturd. "Absurd! That stone is important to us Gorons. You think I'd give it to a bunch of kids that easily?"

"Say WHAT!?" Link cried. "So you're just gonna let Ganondorf take over Hyrule?!"

"**SHUT UP!**" He roared, sending us in a state of shock. His burly arm went smashing into a nearby wall, and took out a hunk of rock. He then proceeded to shove it in his mouth, and crunched on it. "Blegh! Disgusting!" The Goron leader spat out the chewed rock.

"What was your first clue?" I muttered. He sent us another glare.

"We are a race that eats rocks," he explained. "The rocks we eat come from Dodongo's Cavern, where the ancient dragon King Dodongo lives. However, the dragon has begun to act violently, so now we can't go in there to get our food. I don't have the time to deal with YOU, goro." I was wondering when that catchphrase would kick in... "If you want the Spiritual Stone THAT badly, go and defeat the ancient dragon and show me that you're a man!"

"What -cough- about me?"

"What ABOUT you?" Damn him!

"Momma, I'm hungry! Wahhh!"

"There, there..." We turned around to find a female Goron comforting her child. A small Goron walked up to us.

"That child hasn't eaten anything in a month...At this rate, we'll die."

Silence filled up the room. I wasn't sure what to say........

"Guide me to Dodongo's Cavern!" Link instructed.

"What? ME?" The small Goron asked, surprised. "No way, goro! I'm scared!" He curled into a ball.

"You're gonna die at this rate anyway, right?"

"Smooth, Link..."

* * *

Although scared as hell, the goron reluctantly led us to the entrance to Dodongo's Cavern. Nothing about it -except that there's a huge hole for an entrance- looked interesting.

"You're really goin' in there, goro?" Our guide asked with fear.

"What does it look like? -hack- Of course we're going in!" I rolled my eyes.

"B-but aren't you scared?"

"...Maybe." Okay, so I was scared. If you were assigned to kill a giant lizard that breathes fire and could kill you, you would be, too.

"Don't worry," Link assured. "As long as you're with us, you're safe." We walked inside the dangerous cave. Fairy boy found a stick laying nearby and thought it would be good to fire it up for light. When he couldn't do it, the guiding Goron gladly took it and lit it up in a flash. It was kind of the same with the Great Deku Tree; this cave just winds on and on forever. There doesn't seem to be an end to it.

"Ohhh....Of my friends that were hungry enough to go in there to get rocks.....Five of them were eaten, goro." Don't be scared, don't be scared, don't be scared...

"Hm? What's this?" Link pointed to a large and round blue bulb.

"Those are bomb flowers," the Goron explained. "They only grow in this cavern, goro."

"Ooh, a flower?" My partner began to pick one of them.

Oh crap.

"Link, don't-"

**KA-BOOM!**

"-...pick that."

"Oh, they explode when you pick them, goro."

"You could've said that sooner," Link mumbled. Just when he finished cleaning his face, the floor rumbled under us.

"Th-those footsteps...!" The guide started running. "I'm gettin' outta here, goro!"

"Ahh! Wait!" Before we knew it, he was gone.

"Oh dammit, he left!" I complained. "Now what are we supposed to -cough cough- do!?" Just then, Link gasped.

"It's.....It's HUGE!!" My eyes widened. I slowly turned my head around. What I saw behind me is...

A ferocious, hard-skinned lizard with horns sticking out of its head and with razor-sharp claws and teeth. Yup. Not my day.

"RUN FOR IT!!" With Link taking up Epona, we split up and went on opposite sides of the tunnel. King Dodongo breathed fire, but continued to do so even after we're far away. "Gosh...He's pretty dumb."

"That's Dodongo for ya..." And I finish that sentence off with one of my coughing fits.

"Hey! The ancient dragon's curling up! He heard us!" Navi pointed out. Not good. Epona curled up and covered its eyes with its...hooves.

"What the- This is no place to lie down!" The hero cried out. I wasn't taking any chances; I went as close to the wall as I possibly could, and laid down.

"Find a place to hide, qui-ACK!" I bursted into another set of coughs. Afterwards, I looked up to see if they had taken my advice. Instead, I see Dodongo crashing into the wall, making the area crumble a bit. Holy crap...Did they DIE!?!

The dragon must've sniffed my scent or something, because that thing started coming after me! Staying close to the wall, I tried to escape; Instead, my lungs gave out. Unfortunately, once I was able to breathe again it opened its mouth...

Well, this is it. Goodbye, cruel world!

"HEY YOU!" A voice called out from above. Could it be an angel, ready to take my soul to Heaven at this moment? Or perhaps Hell? "EAT THIS!!" Huh? That's not right. Something round and blue landed in the beast's mouth. It clamped its mouth shut. And almost immediately, the monster exploded. "YES!"

Chunks of King Dodongo landed _everywhere_. Some of it landed on me; I wanted to barf.

"Stephanie, you alright?" That voice...It couldn't be...

"Link!?"

"That's my name." He grinned, and together we walked out of the tunnel with the dragon defeated.

* * *

**Yeah, no cliffie. Oh well. I wanted to put the Gorons in one chapter. Xp Same thing for the Zoras.**

**Next chapter, I'm going to write it in another person's view. Who will it be? Find out next time!**


	12. Chapter 11

**I don't own Zelda.**

Chapter eleven

_Navi's POV_

I watched the two children as they slept. It had been a long day; After getting out of that cave, all of the Gorons came to collect their food. While feasting, the leader of the Goron Tribe, Darunia, presented Link with the Spiritual Stone of Fire. They celebrated with food, music, and dance. Link had played songs while Darunia danced. But we didn't stay for the whole night; Stephanie had complained and complained about her breathing conditions, so we were forced to leave the party. So here we are, in the middle of a field, the young ones in slumber, while I am here awake in case anything happens.

In the midst of all this, Epona the colt mysteriously disappeared. No one knew where she went.

I sighed, as I looked back on that night in the alley...

_Flashback_

_I felt slightly irritated. When will Stephanie fall asleep? She's been playing that ocarina for an hour now! My irritation turned to relief when the songs diminished. I heard a sigh, and when I looked over my shoulder, she had closed her eyes and backed against a wall. I held my breath, and waited.....and waited...._

_Yes! She's snoring!_

_I took this opportunity to wake up my partner, Link. It had taken a few nudgings and a little 'Hey!'s, but it was well worth it. He, finally awakened, rubbed his eyes._

_"Navi? What is it?"_

_"We need to talk." He stared at me with confusion._

_"Talk? About what? I'm sure it could wait..." He yawned._

_"We have to talk NOW!" I gasped, and as quickly as I could, pressed my tiny hands against Link's lips and glanced at her._

_Good. She's still asleep._

_"Nabi? Wap's bis abup?"_

_"What?" He pointed to his lips. __I released my hands, and the ability to speak came to him._

_"I said, 'Navi? What's this about?'."_

_"It's about _her_."_

_"...Zelda?"_

_"No!" I harshly whispered. "Stephanie!" Link gave me yet another confused stare._

_"What about Stephanie?"_

_"Haaah..." I gave off an exasperated sigh and rubbed my forehead. "Don't you think she's...suspicious?"_

_"Suspicious?"_

_"I'm talking about her information." I landed on Link's shoulder. "The way she just knows things, right out of the blue..."_

_"Huh?" I turned my head away._

_"Remember? Earlier today, when she just immediately knew what Zelda's heirloom was..."_

_"Hm? Oh, I'm sure it's just a coincidence." I shook my head._

_"No...It can't be. Did you even hear her explanations? So unreal."_

_"Expla- what?"_

_"She explained how she got here..." Link grinned sheepishly._

_"Oh that...I just played along."_

_"You what!?"_

_"Well, it's too confusing." He scratched the back of his head. "Those things- video games and televisions- they just confuse me. Don't make any sense. And since she said that she was only going to explain it once, it didn't really matter, so I pretended to be interested. Besides, it's only how she got here. Nothing else. I don't see what's wrong."_

_"I'm trying to say is that I think she's keeping something from us. Something important, and urgent."_

_"...I think you're overreacting."_

_"Wait, you don't-"_

_"Goodnight!" With that said, my assigned partner fell asleep._

_End of Flashback_

I covered my eyes. Link hadn't listened to a word I said at all. And ever since that night, my suspicions just keep rising and rising. I don't like this, not one bit. She never told Zelda anything, and didn't tell Link about his 'video game life', nor about the Sacred Realm.

I have a bad feeling about this.

"Mmmphm.......Guhhr...." I spotted Link, twitching and rolling back and forth in discomfort. What is he dreaming of? "Ah! Great Deku Tree!.....A dream?" He sat up, wide awake. He looked left and right. "Navi, what just happened?"

"You were moving in your sleep," I told him. "Were you dreaming of the Great Deku Tree?" He nodded.

"I dreamt of a castle burning...But it wasn't Hyrule Castle. And I saw a person I couldn't recognize. What does this mean?"

"I'm not sure. But it may be revealed in time, so who knows?" He grinned.

"Thanks, Navi. I can sure count on you." He grabbed Stephanie's bag and pulled out the two stones. "The Kokiri Emerald....And the Goron's Ruby. Only one more to go!" Link then sighed. "Stephanie did mention a stone from the 'Zoras'. I wonder if she knows where it is?"

"She probably does." We sat in silence. A nice cool breeze passed by us.

"Hey Navi."

"Hm?"

"Let's get going!" I furrowed my brows.

"What?"

"Come on, Stephy! Wake up! We're going to find the Zoras!" He shook Stephanie gently.

"Hmhmhm, yeah that's right Spongebob, get it _on_.....Eh, wuzzup?" She yawned and stretched.

I was deeply disturbed by her sleep-talking.

"What's all da fussin' about? It's like, nighttime."

"We gotta get the next stone!" She glared at him.

"Can't it wait 'til tomorrow?"

"Nope!" Link grabbed her wrist.

"Ah- Hey!"

"Let's go and do our best to find it!" He ran in a straight-forward direction.

"YAAAAAAH!!"

"Hoo boy..." I flapped my wings to catch up to them.

* * *

"Dammit Link, gettin' us all lost like that! I outta punch you right now," Stephanie growled.

"Me getting us lost! You're the one talking, you wouldn't tell us where the Zoras are!" Link yelled in anger.

"Well, excuuuuuuuuse me, fairy boy, but if you hadn't woken me up from my beauty sleep, I would be willing to tell you where it is!" I watched the two continue to bicker. The boy didn't know where to locate the Zoras' home, and the girl became too grumpy to inform us where to go next.

All in all, a disaster.

"Why don't you say it to my-" Then Link stopped. I frowned.

"What's wrong, Link?"

"...I hear singing. Who could be out in the dead of night like this?"

"A retard." The two of us glared at her. "Well it could."

"Let's find out who it is," I suggested. "At least we're not the only ones outside." After an agreement, we followed the music. We travelled all the way to a ranch.

"It's this place," Link stated.

"A ranch? But there's no one here..."

"HA!"

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"See? This is Lon Lon Ranch. Malon should be around here somewhere." Stephanie smirked. "And you said that we didn't need to go here."

"Yes, well......Nevermind! Let's just get out of here!"

"...Navi, are you afraid of ghosts?" He had to ask that. When I was younger, my cousin always had to dress up as a ghost to scare the living daylights out of me! I still haven't forgiven her.

Suddenly, something large attacked Link!

"AAAHHHHH! It's the ghost, run for it!........Eh?" It was not a ghost, but instead that colt from before.

"Aww, it's Epona!" My partner started sweet-talking to the colt.

"Umm.....That's kinda weird," Stephanie commented.

"Who's there?" We turned around to see who it is.

"Hey Malon! Waaaaazuuuuuuuuup?" Goddesses, she sounds like a _drunkard_.

"Oh my, it's you folks again!" Malon happily beamed. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Haha, yeah, it has!" Link laughed. "Oh yeah, how's Volvagia doing? Is he alright?" The ranch girl nodded.

"I had ta keep him hidden, but he's alright! Wanna see 'im?"

"Yup!"

"Den follow me!" We followed her into a wooden building. Inside had horses of all kinds, including a few cows, kept in fenced boxes of sorts with hay scattered around. "Ya see, we're all workin' late tonight. Well, 'cept for Papa o' course." She pointed to a round and hairy man sleeping sideways. "See? Dere's Papa." She then pointed to a man angrily shoveling the hay into the horses' boxes. He had a thick, pointy mustache paired with thick, bushy eyebrows. His nose was round like Talon's, and had pink sleeves with white overalls. "Dat dere's Ingo. He helps out on da ranch. We couldn't git along wit-out 'im!"

"Hmph!" Ingo grunted. "Even at night, all Master Talon does is nap. All da work at dis ranch gits left up ta me! Let's change da name ta Ingo's Ranch!"

"He needs a chill pill. Seriously."

"Aw, dun worry 'bout it, hon! Now, let's git outside! Dat's where yer pet is!" .......If his pet was outside, why bring us inside? "Oh, b'fore dat, though, here's some delicious Lon Lon Milk ta keep yer strength up!" She handed Link and Stephanie a full bottle of milk.

"Ah! Thanks, Malon!" Link began to chug his down.

"Ooooh right! Listen, I'm gonna save mine, so no worries, 'kay?" Stephanie stored hers away in her messenger bag. Finally getting outside again, we followed Malon into a large field with wooden fences. She led us to the farthest end of the field.

"Alright baby, you c'n come out now!" A small red lizard head popped out of the ground. It's body struggled to get out.

"Ah! Volvagia!" Link grabbed the dragon's hands that wormed its way out and pulled.

"Uhhh.......Even though it's funny, why'd ya, you know, bury the thing?"

"Oh, dat? Well, I tried ta keep 'im in da stables, but he bothered da horses too much. And I knew I couldn't keep 'im in da house, 'cause dragons breathe fire, ya know? So, I tried keepin' 'im outside in da field, but he just likes stickin' 'imself in da ground." Malon shrugged. "Dragons are weird." She then started singing. Epona came trotting up to her.

"Oh, so you were the one that was singing?" Link had gotten the dirty dragon out, and now it's licking his face.

"Mmhm. Epona loves songs 'nd music, so I sing 'er song ev'ry night ta keep 'er comp'ny."

So that was why she followed Link's ocarina. Malon sighed a weary sigh.

"Doin' nothin' but work all day is so tirin'."

"Well, what about your mother?" My partner had climbed up on the fence with Volvagia in his lap.

"Yeah. Come to think of it, I haven't seen her," Steph observed.

"She died when I was little, but I'm okay. Singin' at night makes me feel better."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Malon..."

"Dun worry 'bout it." She sighed again. "I've got a dream; A prince just fo' me will fly down fr'm beyond dat moon, right dere." She pointed to the sky. "It's a wonderful thought, ain't it? Do you two have a dream?"

"A dream?....Yeah," Link replied. "My dream.....is to see the world."

"That's a nice dream," Malon complimented. "What 'bout you? What's yer dream?" Stephanie smirked a devilish smirk.

"My dream........" I was leaning close, hanging on her words. ".....Is to blow up a whole building!" She puffed out her chest.

I wish I hadn't heard that.

"That's.......Uhh...." Poor girl.

"Stephanie, why in the world would you want to blow up a- OH MY GOD!" He clutched Volvagia tightly.

"What? I said 'building', not 'God'! Though that would be funny too..." Is everything a joke to her!? I looked up to see where Link was staring at.

A large bird was coming this way! Everyone backed away just in time; The large owl landed on the fence.

"AAAAUUUUUGGHHHH!! It's the ghost of Mr. Owl! We're done for!!" Stephanie shrieked in agony.

"Mr. Owl? Hoot, what an awful name!" This owl would be what I call 'strange'. It had a green bow-tie with small glasses. Hardly an owl, in my opinion.

"What the-? Hey, you're not Mr. Owl...You're.......You're.......!" She almost looked like she was going to cry. Who is this bird, anyway?

"Hoot, if you mean my cousin Kaepora Gaebora, I'm afraid I can't find him." This 'owl' shook its head sadly. "I came here from another country to visit him, since it's my vacation and all, but ever since I arrived he's nowhere to be seen. And it seems that his old friend, the Great Deku Tree, has passed away, so no luck." Link scooted up a bit.

"Um....Who are you?"

"Oh, I forgot to introduce myself, haven't I?" The bird ruffled its feathers. "I am- AAAHHHHH!! An _insect_!!!" It toppled over almost immediately. "S-s-s-s-s-stay back, you foul beast!"

Was it trying to ball its wings into fists? I couldn't tell.

"WHYYYY!?!?! Oh God, why!? Please, just kill me now!" Stephanie dropped to her knees.

"She's not a foul beast, she's my fairy!" Link tried to defend me heroically.

"Fairy...?" The bird lowered its guard.

"Yes, a fairy! Now, can you _please_ tell us your name?"

"Hm? Ah- ah! Oh, right." It stood in a gentleman-like stature. "My name is Blathers, and I have come from a town in which I work as a museum staff member." Stephanie was sobbing by this point. What in the world?

* * *

**Okay, so I was going to add a lot more, but I think this is better. **

**I don't own Animal Crossing, either. Xp Or that name.**

**P.S.- Spongebob is the name of a fat cat my dad named. **


	13. Chapter 12

**I don't own Zelda.**

Chapter twelve

This Blathers.....is driving me _insane_. He just rambles on and on about nothing. I REALLY want to strangle him at this point.

"So then I said to him, "Don't let those bee stings touch me! Do you know where they've been!? Utter vileness!' Tsk, tsk. The poor boy had to go to a hospital." Stephanie was shaking and covering her ears. Link looked like he was going to fall asleep. Malon was the only one who actually seemed interested.

"Yeah? Yeah? What happened next, Mr. Blathers?" She begged.

"Ahh, yes. A few days later he came back and-"

"ARRRGHH!! That's _IT!!!_" I screeched. I have HAD IT. Everyone scrambled to their feet.

"Huh- what? Who what where!?"

"Oh- oh yes, that's very interesting!......Wait, what?"

"What in tarnation?" As fast as I could, I flew over to this menace and pounded him with all my energy.

"GAAAHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!" Blathers screamed.

"N-Navi! What are you doing!?!"

"Yes, Navi! KILL!"

"Oh my..."

"SHUT. UP. YOU. STUPID. BIRD!" I screamed at him.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAH!!!" Blathers cried. "Please stop! I'll do whatever you say, just please STOP!" Gasping for air, I stopped.

"Ha.....Ha......That's more..........like it..." I landed on Link's shoulder. "Now then......Why did you...come here?"

"I-I-I was looking for my cousin," He sniffled, "a-a-and I was hoping you would know where he is." I shook my head.

"Sorry, but we don't." I couldn't tell him that _she _murdered his relative.

"Oh, then I guess I will just have to-"

"Now hold on!" I told him impatiently. "You came here by flying, correct?"

"Y-yes?"

"Good." I circled around his legs. "Link, Stephanie, grab onto his legs. We're going."

"Awwww..." Link gently laid Volvagia down. "Sorry boy, looks like I'll be leaving again." The dragon whined a bit.

"Ooooh, traveling by air? Sweeeeet." Stephanie grabbed one of the owl's legs. He whimpered.

"Hey, wait y'all! I neva got yer names!" Malon mentioned.

"My name's Link," he said, grabbing the other leg, "and her name's Stephanie. We'll come back soon!"

"Y'all better!" She called out as we flew away.

* * *

"W-wow..." Link said in amazement. "Up here, everyone looks like bugs....We're all so small."

"Well duh, Fairy boy. That's the world for ya." Travel by air helped save a great deal of time. Stephanie finally told us where our next destination is; A huge waterfall located somewhere in Hyrule Field. She said not to worry, for she knows how to get inside.

I still have my doubts.

"Hoot....How much longer?" Blathers whined.

"Quiet you."

"Yes, Miss Fairy." A few minutes later, we came upon a river. Many strips of land were placed together to make a twisted road of sorts.

"Oh! That's it!" The foreign girl exclaimed. "Follow it! We'll find that waterfall in no time!" We followed it upstream, and just as she said, we found the waterfall. "Well, this is it! Come on, let's get off." The two children hopped off the bird and landed on a strange writing scribbled on the land.

"HOOT! I'M FREE!" Blathers flew away as fast as he could.

"Hey!"

"Don't worry about it. Look, we're already here," Link pointed out.

"Hm....Alright. It says here, 'The Sleepless Waterfalls: The endless waterfall serves the King of Hyrule. When the King is in slumber, so too will the waterfall.'," Stephanie read. "All we need to do is play the royal family's song, and then it's homerun!." I realized something.

"But wait! We don't know what the royal family's song is!"

"You guys don't....But I do." She took out her ocarina. "Let's get it ON!" She began to play the song.

It......was horrible. Link and I had to cover our ears from the too-high notes and not enough low notes. And she was the one practicing at night.

"Augh! Stephanie, stop!" He commanded her. She stopped. Thank goodness.

"What? It's not THAT bad."

"Yes it was," I objected. "Terrible all around."

"Fine. Link, you play."

"But I don't know the song..." She groaned.

"It's like this: Doo-do-doo, doo-do-doo." She sang the notes in which she couldn't play. "Don't make me repeat that! You didn't hear anything." She could have just did that in the beginning!

"Uh...Okay?" He played the song as instructed. I could not believe what was happening.

The waterfall was splitting in two, making a square marble entrance. He put his ocarina away and jumped to the other side.

"Come on, Steph!"

"I'm goin', I'm goin'!" She put hers away and jumped, but fell short; She was only able to grab the edge. Link pulled her up. We walked inside, and found the most pretty thing ever.

A majestic waterfall gracefully poured its way down in the pool of clear water. Everything glistened, from the sharp, pointy rocks that sprung from the pool to the waterfall that sparkled with each drop. There was life, too; Strange human-like creatures had webbed feet and large fins on their arms and hips. Massive tails came straight from the back of their heads. Two long-winded paths were litted up with wooden torches.

"How pretty..." I remarked.

"I know, ain't it? My favorite place to go to; Zora's Domain." We followed Stephanie to the higher road while admiring its beauty. "You see those guys? Those are the Zoras. Good people they are, yes. We're going to find the King."

"Wow! This is so cool!" Link exclaimed. "I can see why people would want to live here." She shrugged, and we made our way to the top. There, we saw a large-bodied Zora that wore a red cape and a massive jewel on its head; It was blocking an entrance. Several other Zoras were surrounding it.

"Hm? What's this? A visitor?" The fat Zora spoke with huge lips.

"Excuse me, sir," Link began, "but are you the King of the Zoras?"

"Yes," one of the Zoras spoke up, "you are in the presence of King Zora!" He nodded.

"My name is Link. These are my friends, Navi and Stephanie. We came here searching for the Spiritual Stone of Water."

"The Spiritual Stone of Water, you say?" King Zora asked. "What would a couple of children want with it? It's a prized possesion of ours passed down in the Do Bon family."

"We need it to save Hyrule," he explained. "Ganondorf has evil intentions."

"Ganondorf? You know him?" Another Zora asked. "Ever since that guy came, Lord Jabu-Jabu has been acting strange!"

"Ganondorf came here, too!?" They nodded.

"Who's Lord Jabu-Jabu?" I asked.

"Lord Jabu-Jabu is the protector of the gods of the Zoras, who lives in the fountain," the Zora explained. The King sniffed.

"I am sorry, but I cannot help you. You see, my cute Princess Ruto was swallowed by Lord Jabu-Jabu, zora.".....Their protector god swallowed their princess? Wow. "Perhaps she is still inside his stomach, zora." He pointed to a handsome young Zora that was straightening his bow-tie. "Even though I had already picked the most handsome man in our country, and the day of the marriage ceremony was tomorrow...Oh, my poor, cute Princess Ruto!"

"Isn't that going a little too fast?" Stephanie questioned.

"No, zora. That's the way it has always been in the royal family, zora."

"......Okay, then. Tell you what, let's do an Equivalent Exchange."

"Say what?"

"An Equivalent Exchange," she began. "Equivalency. In exchange for rescuing your precious daughter, we'll have the Spiritual Stone of Water. What do you say? We've already defeated a dragon." He rubbed the bottom of his chin.

"Yes...Yes! I like it! It's an easy trade, zora! Of course!" He nudged little by little from the path he was blocking. A few of his Zoras helped to push him.

"This is gonna take a while. People, get some popcorn." An hour later, he had finally moved out of the way. Oh, FINALLY.

"Please save my cute Princess Ruto!" He pleaded. Link got up and stretched.

"Hyup......We will! Come on, you guys, let's go!"

"Wait! Take this with you, zora." The King threw Link a boomerang. "This is the weapon that has been passed down in the Do Bon family. It will surely prove useful inside Lord Jabu-Jabu, zora."

"Thank you, King Zora!" We headed through the path to the fountain. There was a marble platform with square, detailed pillars placed on each end. Amongst the platform was a HUGE fish. It had a marvelous, large crown adorned with red jewels worn atop its head. There were markings spread across its face. Two bulging eyes were on each side. He looked like a calm and peaceful fish to me. "This is Lord Jabu-Jabu? He's huuuge..."

"He sure doesn't seem like he would swallow a person, though..." I commented.

"You'd be surprised," Stephanie replied. "Besides, Ganny's been here. Did somethin' nasty to him, methinks." Link ran up to Lord Jabu-Jabu and started smacking the deity's lips with his sword.

"Hey! Lord Jabu-Jabu! Spit out Princess Ruto!"

"ACK! Stephanie, stop him!"

"Mah pleasure." She happily skipped over and slapped Link repeatedly. "Link. Stop. Hitting. Mister. Fishy!" I smacked my face.

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh. Whoops." She let go of him. He rubbed his face.

"Now then. Link, you can't go around hitting the animal. He's a protector god! You're supposed to give him an offering."

"What am I supposed to offer, then?"

"Hold on, I gots an idea." Stephanie went around the deity and into the fountain. She swung her scythe at the water several times before her weapon caught something. "There!" She came back with a fresh-caught fish.

"Good going!" Link raised his thumb up. Taking the fish from her, he got down on one knee, and held the fish up to the protector god. "Lord Jabu-Jabu, please, take this."

All of a sudden, Lord Jabu-Jabu's eyes shot wide open. The deity opened its mouth widely, and sucked in everything in its path.

"**WAAAHH!! **What a strong will to eat!!"

"We're all gonna DIE! AHHHH!!"

"Eep!" I made it to their side just in time; Lord Jabu-Jabu closed its mouth. It's a good thing I can illuminate the place; It's dank and dark, not to mention kind of gross too.

"Nnnnggh......What's this squishy thing?" Link pressed his hand several times on a long, red plush bed. Wait....That can't be a bed....

"Link...I think it's Lord Jabu-Jabu's tongue."

"What!? EW!" He immediately got off, only to fall into the deep liquid that is saliva.

"You think that's bad?" Stephanie was near the deity's teeth. "Look, this guys needs to brush more. His teeth? Yellow. Gums? Very red." She proceeded to poke at the gums. "Squishy squishy squishy!"

"Stop that!"

"Sorry." Link grabbed the tongue and got on top of it. He gasped for air.

"Ugh! This place is disgusting!"

"Amen to that, brother. His breath- dude, I'm glad I didn't eat anything before we got in here." I have to agree; Lord Jabu-Jabu's breath reeks of dead rotted fish and other things that I just can't describe.

"Well....We promised the King, didn't we? Let's hurry up." I was surprised at how complex the protector god's stomach is. We walked in, only to find plenty of holes to fall into. The walls, of course, were made of innard fish flesh. Tunnels that split into two or three different roads ended up as dead ends. The smell didn't make the situation any better.

"Heeey, Princess Ruto! Princess Ruto!" Link called out. But no one answered.

"Oh God, this is gonna take _forever_!" Stephanie whined. I let out a sigh of frustration.

"Stephanie, just shut up and-"

"KYAA!"

"A scream!" Link dashed in the other direction.

"Hey, wait a second!" I decided to go ahead of him and see what's the matter. I then found something horrifying.

"Oh my Goddesses...! You two, over here, quick!" They hurried as fast as they could. A small Zora was being threatened by a mutated jellyfish. Flying smaller jellyfish 'swam' away from the core of this monster. Tentacles sprung out everywhere. Electricity sparked about. The thing had a pulse. The two children made it, and took a gander at the jellyfish.

"This thing lives inside Lord Jabu-Jabu!?"

"Holy crap, we're at the boss already! I feel sorry for the mother that gave birth..." One of the jellyfish started to glow.

"Oh no! Don't worry, I'll rescue you!" Link swooped in to save the Zora just in the nick of time; The jellyfish shot an electrical charge at them.

"Woot, woot! Go Link, go!" We dashed to a safe spot. The jellyfish drifted away from us.

"Ah, you must be Princess Ruto, right?" He gasped, looking at the Zora. "I'm glad you're safe."

"Insolent fool!" Instead of a little 'thank you', she slaps him. How mean.

"Oww!" He held his cheek.

"I am Ruto, Princess of the Zoras! And who the heck are you supposed to be?"

"We promised the King to come in here and save you!"

"Father did?" She turned her head away, but still gave us a glance. "I don't NEED to be saved."

"Eh?" Wasn't she the one screaming?

"What're you talking about? Everyone's worried about you. Now, come on, let's go back." Link extended his hand.

"**No way!** YOU hurry and go back!" She ran away.

"Oh, for the love of God...I don't wanna go near that thing!" I noticed that one of the smaller enemies is heading straight for Ruto!

"Link! The jellyfish!" His eyes widened.

"Oh crap!" He unsheathed his sword and dashed for the monster. "Watch out!" In a flash, he sliced the creatures tentacles. Unfortunately...

...He got electricuted.

"GYAAAAAH!"

"Ohhh, that must've sting!" Stephanie cringed. "That's not a good sign, is it?"

"Listen! Those flying jellyfish electrify you if you try cutting them with your sword!"

"It's kinda too late, Navi..." Although the minor battle has been won, the poor boy was burnt to a crisp. Shaking, he got down on one knee, the sword holding him in place, and held out his hand to Princess Ruto again.

"Heheheh.......You're not hurt, are you? Now, c'mon, let's go..."

"........." She gave him a reluctant look. Why doesn't she want to go back, anyway? She must have known that her people are worried about her. Is she hiding something? "Then....get me my stone back!" Wait, stone!? "I dropped it when Lord Jabu-Jabu swallowed me. If you get that stone back for me, we can go back, zora." Why did she have the stone!?

"All right!" He said, determined. "C'mon, Steph, let's-"

"Hey, hold it!" The princess yelled angrily. She grabbed Link by the back of his collar. "Do you seriously intend to leave me alone?"

"Well, what do you suppose we do?" Stephanie asked. "Carry you around like you're high and mighty?"

"YES!" She smacked her face.

"You gotta be kidding me..." Ruto pointed her dainty little finger at Link.

"You carry me!" The boy gaped at her.

"What!? How am I supposed to use the boomerang!?" His partner snickered.

"You don't NEED the boomerang..." She paused. "Okay I lied, you do. Besides, she's probably not as heavy as she looks..." The princess glared at her.

"And what does THAT supposed to mean?"

"Oh, pfft, nothing..." The girl burst into laughter.

* * *

"Being able to carry me is an honor. You should be thanking me," Ruto said matter-of-factly.

"I can't believe this," Stephanie moaned.

"Well, you would have avoided it if you just kept quiet." I rolled my eyes. Since she had to use two hands and her back to carry the princess, Link decided to carry her weapon and shield for her. There were no signs of the monster yet. We continued to walk in the stomach, hoping to find the stone. A few minutes later, we came across two tunnels on both sides. My partner ran in them, checking it out. But alas, he shook his head no, for both of them. We continued, straight ahead.

"Hey, Princess Ruto?" Link asked.

"Hm? What is it?"

"How did you end up here anyway?" She gasped, and looked away again. I stared at Stephanie, secretly daring her to say _something_ about the princess' predicament.

She said nothing.

"The truth is.....I...wasn't swallowed by Lord Jabu-Jabu. I was hiding." Link stopped in his tracks.

"W-why?"

"My father..." She hopped off Stephanie's back. She gave a sigh of relief, stretched, and straightened her back. "He just did whatever he liked and arranged a marriage without asking me. He's always saying, 'Oh, my cute little princess'!" Her voice kept rising and rising. "I have a life, I can do things by myself...I have my OWN feelings! I am not my father's doll, zora!" She started to cry. Who knew she felt pressured? But then, Zelda felt the same way, too. At the marketplace...

"Hm. There are a lot of things about being a princess, huh?" Giving a weak smile, he scratched behind his head.

"Huh?" She sniffled.

"Ah, but I'm envious. The Great Deku Tree once told me both of my parents are already dead. I've never even met them." His smiled broadened. "You have a father that is worried about you and waiting for you. Let's hurry and find the stone, so we can go back, okay?"

"........." She just stared at him.

Suddenly, I felt a tight hold on my wing.

"Ah! What the-"

"Sshhh!" Stephanie pressed a finger against her lips. Holding me, she sneaked a few feet away from them. "Okay....Good!" She released me.

"Hey, just what the heck do you think you're doing!?" I harshly whispered. She flailed her arms around.

"Meeehh! I just wanna talk to ya about somethin'! And I don't want Link knowin'! Is that so wrong?" I sighed.

"Fine. What is it?" She smiled.

"Parents." I furrowed my brows.

"Uhh...What?"

"_Parents!!!_" She hissed all of a sudden. "Sure, Fairy boy can say the goodies about parents, but what he doesn't know is the _dark side_..." She started clawing at her face. "Gaah! They always tell you to clean your room, do this, do that, do everything they don't want to do! Mine told me to wash dishes, massage their feet, get them a soda even when they're next to a refrigerator!!! It's irritating!" She huffed in and out. "Jerks they is..." I don't believe this. She's getting worked up because of a few chores!? I have no idea what a 'soda' is, but for the love of-!

"Quit complaining!" She stopped.

"...What?"

"What I'm trying to say is, it's just a few chores, for goodness sake! So what if they tell you to get something? Are you going to lash out at them?"

"Nooo...But what I WILL do is complain." Irritated, I rubbed my eyes.

"What was the point of this conversation, anyway?"

"Dunno. I just wanted to rant a little. "

"...Go. NOW. " With that, she hurried back to Link and Ruto. What a waste of time! I wonder what goes on in her head...

On second thought, nevermind.

"Hooray! It's a good thing Link is such a PIMP!" What did she say!? I fluttered back. Stephanie now posessed the items; Ruto, blushing, was being carried by Link.

"What's going on?"

"Oh, hey Navi..." Link gave a weak laugh.

"Hehe, turns out that Ruto likes Fairy boy, so I don't have to give her rides anymore!" She grinned and gave a thumbs up. "Now I shall be the heroine of this war!" She swung her scythe around. "Dun dun DUN dun!" Augh! What war!? I then heard a buzzing noise.

"Huh...? Hey, did you hear that?" The others frowned and shook their heads no. "Mmm.....That can't be right..." I checked around the corners, but nothing's there. Where is it coming from?

"Ha! A jellyfish! Don't worry, my fellow companions, I shall save you!" I turned around to find Stephanie chasing one. She had dropped the things she carried except for her scythe. My partner tried chasing her, but was slowed down by the princess.

What is she thinking!?

"Stephanie! Get away from it!" I called out, but she didn't listen. It was an amazingly easy target; Just in one swing she sliced it in half.

And as nature called it, she was fried, too. Idiot. She fell, twitching, and nicely burnt. When I was by her side, my hands were on my hips.

"And just what did I say about flying jellyfish?" She groaned.

"I'll listen from now on."

"Good. Now, since one of those is -or was- here, then we can assume that the larger version should be nearby." I scanned the upper area. "Now where could it be...?"

"AAAHH!!" I looked behind me and found that a tentacle snatched the princess from Link's back! The arm was attatched to the beast we've been looking for. For some strange reason, something shiny was under it. There were less flying jellyfish now, but one of them headed straight for her and began glowing.

"Hup!" The boy reached behind him and pulled out the boomerang. He swung it; The boomerang slashed through the charging enemy, the arm that held Princess Ruto, and nabbed whatever was under the thing. The girl landed on her bottom without scratches. The weapon returned to Link, and he pulled the item off. "Catch!" He threw it to Stephanie, then headed for his sword. She grabbed it and held it up high.

"What the- it's the stone!"

"Steph, can you get up?" Link shouted, swiping the sword off the ground.

"Y-yeaaah, I think so." Although shaking, she managed to get up. She shoved the stone into her bag.

"Okay, good! Listen, try to attack it when I get rid of the moving parts! You know what I'm talking about, right?"

"Yup!" The two nodded, and Link threw his boomerang again. It cut off most of the tentacles. Stephanie trudged to attack the huge mutated jellyfish. Just as she was about to swing, one of the remaining arms wrapped around her waist! "AAAAHHHH!!" She screamed as she was lifted into the air. It's once cut-off arms began sprouting.

"Use your weapon!" Link called out. He got in a stance to throw his returning weapon once more. Stephanie whimpered, but did as she was told. She sliced the thing around her, and she was released. Stephanie gave another shrill scream before she plummeted on her side.

"Yeeowowowowowow!" He threw the boomerang again once the arms were grown out. Succeeding in cutting all of them, he put the weapon up and headed for the monster's pulsing core, unsheathing his sword along the way. Link jumped into the air.

"How's THIS!?" He swung his sword and slashed the core. It exploded; Filmy pieces of the now-dead jellyfish scattered everywhere. The by-product, soot, covered us all. I had to rub it off my blue skin and hair to lighten the place again. Link hurried to the princess.

"Princess Ruto! You okay?" She glared at him.

"What's the meaning of letting me being taken away like that!?" She pumped a fist into the air.

"Hehe, sorry, sorry." He winked. "Stephanie, you have that stone, right?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." She was sitting, rubbing her arm and wiping soot off her face.

"Can you bring it here? I believe it belongs to someone special." She nodded, and stumbled over. Stephanie fished the Spiritual Stone of Water out.

"Here." Link took it and held it out to Ruto. She sniffed.

"...............I was a little scared, you know." Ruto grasped the stone. She gazed at it.

"Link, goodwork."

"What about me?"

"It's not like you really did anything..."

"Neither did you!"

"I can't carry a weapon."

"....You know what? Screw you." The conversation was over, and the princess is still looking at it. All right Stephanie, you may not have said anything in here. But, if you ever slip a word or bit of evidence that you're working with Ganondorf, be assured that I _will_ be there. Just you wait.

"All right you guys, let's head back now-"

"Wait!" The three of us casted our attention on Princess Ruto. "Um....Is it okay if I give you this, zora?" She held out the Spiritual Stone of Water to Link. "We call it the 'Zora's Engagement Ring'. I was supposed to give this to my fiancee, but...well.......I want you to have it, zora!" Link grinned.

"Really!? Thanks!" He gladly aquired the Spiritual Stone of Water.

"What's gonna happen to your you-know-what?" Stephanie asked. Ruto shrugged.

"I don't know. Why, you....jealous?" She squinted at her. Stephanie had a look of disgust on her face.

"That....is gross. Seriously. Have Link for all I care!" She said WHAT!?!

* * *

_Stephanie's POV_

What was up with that chick!? Link is a bud, not romance material! Good Lord! Well, after getting that stone, we had to walk a LONG way to Hyrule Field. Meanwhile, Link asked Navi what an 'engagement ring' is. She got out of it by saying, 'A ring that connects two people together'. I think the walk took an hour or so. Perhaps thirty minutes.

I swear, my feet are aching.

"Ugh....Hey, how much longer?"

"Shouldn't be far away now," Navi estimated. I groaned again. PLEASE let it be really close!

"Haha, not far away, huh? LET'S GO!!!" Link dashed ahead of me with Navi behind. How the hell does he have that much energy!? That's not normal! I didn't even bother to catch up; My feet are sore, I'm not gonna do it. I continued lagging behind until I smelled something. What is it? With each step I took to the marketplace, the stronger it is. I breathed in deeply. Let's see....Well, it ain't soup. I think it's a barbeque. No, wait...

That smells like a fire. My feet, feeling a little less pain now, carried me to the source. There stood Link, stiff. What's up with him?

"Hey Link, what are you..." I stopped. Please, tell me this is a dream.

Hyrule Castle was on fire! Its citizens were running out frantically, with board wagons and other stuff. We only gave each other a glance before we ran inside like we never did before. Screw sore feet, this is serious! Everywhere inside was on flames. Houses burnt to the ground. People were screaming, trying to get away from this madness.

"Ganondorf is starting a rebellion!"

"It's a coup d'etat!" Holy shizzles, are they for real!? We headed to Hyrule Castle. It's gates were broken down, almost by force. The trees and flowers that were once scattered across the field before its castle were smothered by the frenzied fires. The guards guarding the place are now laying on the ground. I'd say they're dead. Crossing the next gate, we found that everything's been ruined; Carpets were burnt, paintings were ripped to pieces, curtains torn down, the floor now a rocky mess. There were even more dead people around.

"Zelda?! Zelda?!" Link cried out, but no response came. I panicked.

"Oh man, we gotta hurry!" We ran up through a set of stairs that, surprisingly, has not been torn down. Upstairs was the top of a tower with flames going about. We heard clashes of swords all around us, along with loud shouts and yelling. I ran to the edge to check it out; Remaining guards were fighting with some skimpy-looking dudes...

Wait a second, those are Stalfos! And those guys down there aren't fighting at all. In fact...

"Link, I think I found Zelda!"

"What!! Where!?" He looked over the edge, too. And sure enough, he saw Zelda, along with Impa and....Ganondorf. Then in a flash, he ran back down through another set of stairs that led to the grounds of Hyrule Castle.

"Hey!" I had to catch up to him. But, I feel like I'm almost out of energy... I decided to take some peeks while running. Haa, it seems like they're talking... Holy crap, Ganon tried to punch Impa! She jumped in the nick of time. Now it looks like Impa- ACK!

Well, forget about that. I just tripped. I tumbled down the stairs, and when I stopped, I rubbed my head.

"Ouch...That hurt!"

"Aww, do you want a bandage? Or maybe death?" I slowly looked up, and suddenly wished I hadn't. A large, mean Stalfos stood in front of me. "Hehehe...This is gonna be _fun_." Panicking again, I clutched my scythe and swung it at him. He crumbled to little bones... That was it?

"Goodwork, now let's go!" Link zipped past me and headed downward.

"Hey, I didn't do this for YOUR sake!" I heard a rumbling noise behind me.

"Hehe...Didn't hurt a bit." I turned to find the skeleton warrior all pieced back up together. Oh crap it.

"AAAHH!!!" I KNOW I can't defeat this guy. So, I went the easy way out; I jumped off the stairs. Stupid of me really, because when I landed it was on concrete. "Auugh....Dammit!" After struggling to get up, I saw a white horse with two people on it.

"Zelda!"

"LINK!" The princess called out for him. The horse went galloping away; Link chased after them. I followed them all the way to the marketplace. I tried to keep up, but I just couldn't do it; I got left in the dust. Oh God dangit, why can't there be any cars around here!? ...Wait, what's that? It sounded like hooves. I glanced behind me. Ganon's coming!

"Gah, agh, aaahh!" I looked everywhere. I jumped to the side as Ganon's armored black horse stomped past me. Huh....What if I tried to-

No. I don't want to think of the consequences if I tried to grab its tail. I took in a few more gulps of air before running again. I made it to the bridge, where Ganon stopped.

"Kid, give me that thing you picked up just now." I guess Link's here too. Oh, I gotta help! Dropping the scythe, I grabbed my slingshot and snatched some pebbles from the road. Then, I shot them at Ganon. It didn't work, though; The pebbles bounced off his armor. The man got off his horse, and before I knew it, he lifted me off the air by the collar glaring at me. "You were at that castle with him, weren't you? It's obvious you're not around here." Then his eyes widened and he smirked, like that of a maniac. "I have a feeling I know who you are..." What the- is he a stalker or something!? Link had jumped in middair with his sword in hand.

"Hey! Let her go!" Though he made a direct hit, it did no damage; Ganon was able to block every attack with his arm. And, taking his own sword out, he thwacked Link by the hilt. He plummeted to the ground.

"Hmph. Who are you?"

"Hah...I am Link, a child raised by the Great Deku Tree!" Link hopped up and tried to attack him again. Finally releasing me, the Gerudo leader summoned some dark energy in his hand. With it, he pushed him back to the earth. Chuckling, Ganon bent over and picked something up, something right next to my partner.

"_Finally_." I felt my heart racing. What does he mean 'finally'?! Upon inspection, I realized what he gained.

"NO!!" I snatched my weapon and charged at him, full power. No prevail, however; He deflected it just as easily. To make matters worse, he stole my scythe and broke it in two. Cackling evil laughter, he mounted his dark steed and raced far away from us. Rain started pelting on us. Feeling all hope lost, I dropped to my knees. This...this can't be......

He had gotten ahold of the Ocarina of Time...!

* * *

**I also don't own Equivalent Exchange (FMA) or Animal Crossing; Neither the idea of Blathers and Gaepora being relatives. They might as well be, though. -shrugs-**

**It's over 5000+!!! WOOT! Biggest chapter EVER.**


	14. Chapter 13

**I don't own Zelda.**

Chapter thirteen

So...So this is it, huh? We just let the ocarina get taken by Ganon? We did all this work, and it gets wasted away like it's nothing? It's too late now, he won. It's over. We're done for. Wiping away collected tears under my chin, I plodded to Link, who was still laying on the now-wet grass. I nudged him a little.

"Hey man, wake up. It's over." He awakened from his little nap. Getting up, he rubbed his eyes.

"Nnnghn.....What happened?"

"Ganon took it." Link fixed his eyes on me.

"Took what?"

"The ocarina, Link."

"The ocar....!" His eyes widened, and he quickly looked through his back pockets. "No! No no no! That can't be, I had it tucked in here! I can't lose it! Zelda..." I bit my lip. I knew he wasn't going to find it. I turned away and sobbed.

"Keep on looking, it has to be here somewhere!" Navi encouraged. "Hurry!"

"I am!" Should I even watch? I don't want to see their faces when they find it gone. And yet, I find myself facing them, searching frantically for the musical item. Link's hand stopped suddenly. He reached in, and pulled out an ocarina. That must be the one Saria gave him. "This....This isn't..."

"Wh....what is it?"

"This isn't Saria's..." My eyes widened.

"WHAT!? No way, let me see, now!" I snatched it, and studied. He...

He was RIGHT! This ocarina bore a blue hue on the surface, unlike his other ocarina. It also had the crest of the royal family, the Triforce symbol. So then, the one that Ganon took...

"Ganon took the wrong one!" My 'happy happy joy joy' mood came back in a rush. My hands shook under the glorious instrument. I slowly smiled. "Link, do you know what this means!? We can save Hyrule! We're saved, oh thank God, we're _saved_!" I pranced around, shouting, 'Yes!' with glee. It came to an abrupt end when I heard a sniffle. "Hm? What's wrong, dude?" Link wiped his face.

"It's just that...I wasn't able to protect her, even though we got the three stones. I couldn't defeat Ganon." I patted him on the back.

"Aw, it's okay. She's safe, now's that she's with Impa. That's the part you want most, right?"

"Yeah....Yeah!" He got off the soaken ground. "That's right! As long as she's safe, then that's all I need!" He grabbed his sword.

"That's the spirit!" I stowed away the Ocarina of Time. "Let's hurry. Hyrule ain't gonna save itself!"

* * *

"The Temple of Time houses the Master Sword, the only sword strong enough to defeat Ganondorf. In order to open its doors, you must have three stones: One from the Kokiri Forest, one from the Goron City, and one from the Zora's Domain. You have to set it up on an altar-thing. The Ocarina of Time is the fourth key in all this; You must play the Song of Time. Once then, the Master Sword is up for grabs. However, only the 'Hero of Time' can pull it out of the pedestal-thing. This blade is 'the blade of evil's bane'. The sword's connected to the Sacred Realm. In the Sacred Realm, there are six sages: A Light Sage, a Forest Sage, a Fire Sage, a Water Sage, a Shadow Sage, and a Spirit Sage. I think they look over Hyrule or something. Anyway, they help the Hero of Time on his quest, giving him 'medallions' to strengthen his power. The Sacred Realm also holds the sacred relic, the Triforce.

The Triforce was created back then by the three Goddesses of your land. At first, this place was like, nothing. Din created the lands. Nayru gave law to the land. Farore gave life, I think. Then before they went back to the heavens, they left the Triforce behind. Now supposedly, you can make one wish on it. If you're heart is pure, then good things happen. If not, well....don't expect to see your next birthday. Now then," I said, gasping for air, "are there any questions?"

"Yes. What comes next?"

"What do ya mean 'what comes next'?"

"Well now, it's about time you tell us about that video game you were talking about, no?"

"Wha...I already told you that, didn't I?"

"Nope."

"Oh, you're just playing with me. Yes I did." I waved a finger at her.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yesss....."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"I said NO!"

"And I said YES!"

"Uh, hey-"

"WHAT!?!" We both screamed at him.

"Gya!" He flinched. "I just wanted to know how to play the Song of Time!" I rubbed my forehead.

"Haah....... Let's wait 'til we get there, 'kay?" We had packed up and went back inside the marketplace. Thanks to the rain, the once-raging fires were now reduced to little embers or nothing. Soot got washed away, making the road look like it's filled with black ink. However, some of Ganon's minions were still around. So, we went around long ways and short cuts. Eventually, we made it to a huge church-like temple that actually hasn't been touched yet. "There it is! The Temple of Time!" We ran inside; The floor was a bunch of checkered stone tiles. Windows were placed on the very top side of the walls, which were created with stone bricks. On the other side of this huge place was the altar, with a red carpet in front of it. Behind it, there's a huge square door with weird symbols marked on it. Finally, a symbol of the Triforce, its pieces colored in black, was right above the door.

"Wow, look at this place!" Link's voice echoed throughout the temple. This gave me an idea.

"ECHO!!" Wee, it echoed! This is so much fun! "Eeee! Yaaay! Alright, to the altar!" I stomped my way, trying to make as much noise as I possibly could.

"Stephanie, stop that! Those guys could hear us!"

"Aww, but it's just _too much fun_." Navi just growled. "Fine, fine! Jeez... Killjoy." Getting to the altar, I took out the three stones from my bag. I placed them one by one. "Alright. Fairy boy, take out that ocarina." He did so, but stopped.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I waved my hand in front of him, but all I got was that daze.

"Huh. Maybe he's learning that song."

"The Song of Time?"

"Yup."

"But how?"

"Ehhh....I think Zelda engraved some memories into that thing. It sucks that I didn't get to see it, though. Dang." We waited; It sure is taking a while for him to finish. I let out a yawn.

"Neh, wha..?" About time.

"Where were you?" He scratched his head.

"Well...As soon as I got out the Ocarina of Time, I had this vision; Zelda taught me how to play the Song of Time. And when I finished, the vision ended." I clapped my hands.

"Good for you! Now, play it so we can get in." As he played it, the stones emanated a glow. They floated up into the air and shined brighter than before. "Ooooh.....Aaaahhhh......" The once-darkened symbol on the stone wall brightened to a golden color, and the door magically split into two and moved sideways, making a secret entrance. Link finished the song.

"Woah! How did that happen?"

"Who cares? We're about to get a blade that kick's Ganon's ass!" Being a giddy little girl, I gleefully hopped through the entrance with the others in my trail.

"Link! He come to town! Come to save the Princess Zelda! Ganon took her away, now the children don't play, but they will...when Link saves the day! Hallelujuah! Now Link, fill up your hearts so you can shoot your sword with power! And when you're feeling all down, the fairy will come around, so you'll be brave and not a sissy coward!"

I got even more excited as the sword that will save us all came into view.

"Now Link...has saved the day! Put Ganon in his grave. So now Zelda is free, and now a hero shall be...  
Link, I think your name shall go down into history!"

I finished it off with a dramatic pose. "Well, here we are!" It was a tall, cylinder-like room. A large hexagon-shaped podium was in the very center, sectioned in two. On the lower half of this podium were drawings of the medallions needed for the journey. The upper half of it had a sword in a pedestal that had a purple hilt shaped like wings, with beams of sunlight striking the steel blade. The sword was also in the center of yet another Triforce symbol. The rays came from the only window in this room, which happened to be on the opposite side of where we are.

"Hey, what kind of song was that anyway?"

"Hehe, I thought it was pretty catchy." I grinned at my amigo.

"Well, thank you for that compliment, good sir! Though I probably should have saved it for later..."

"...You're not going to answer me?"

"I will....eventually."

"Procrastinator." I swear, she must've rolled her eyes at me. Anyway, we walked to the Master Sword in all its fine glory. "This is the Master Sword, huh? It's kinda big..." Link rubbed the purple handle.

"Wow...The Master Sword. If I have this blade, I can surely defeat him, right?"

"Well, DUH! How else are ya going to save Hyrule? Stare at it?" He grinned. Someone started clearing her throat.

"Alright, before we go any further, Stephanie, please tell us now about that video-"

"Not this again!" For the love of _God_. "Woman, I already told you the goodies, just cut it out!" Navi buzzed around my head.

"Ooooh! I keep telling you that you didn't tell us a thing! Link, you agree, right?" We both faced him. He was sweating pretty bad.

"Uhh...Yeah?"

"See?" Came the truimphant voice of the fairy.

"What!? How could you? You stabbed me right here man. Right here!" I poked at my chest. He started ruffling his hair like crazy.

"Gaah! What am I supposed to do? I didn't ask for this!"

"Sorry man..."

"Besides," he pointed at his guardian fairy, "even though I kinda spaced out, I still knew what you said. She's right; You haven't said anything as of yet." I groaned. I got overruled; Looks like I'll have to admit defeat now.

"_Fine_! But let's get the- wait a minute. Did you just say 'spaced out'?" I glared at him. His eyes widened; They dashed left and right.

"...No?"

"Fairy boy, we are going to do a LOT of talking after this stinkin' quest is over. Now get the stupid thing so we can GET ON WITH IT." He quickly nodded, and grasped the handle. He breathed in heavily.

"Here it goes! HAAAAAA!!" The boy drawed the sword out of its resting place. Just then, the podium began glowing a bright blue color, and the light surrounded us.

"Sailor Link, we must transform! Sailor powers, activate!"

"What are you talking about!? What's happening?!"

_"Hahahaha! Thanks for opening the Sacred Realm! Now it's all MINE..." What the...Was that Mr. Pickle What's-His-Face? Everything seems so dark..._

* * *

"Awaken Link, the Chosen Hero!" Huh. Who was that? And why does it feel like I've been knocked out...

Oh yeah. Seven years. Duh. After rubbing my eyes, I yawned and stretched. That is one good nap! I decided to look around. Crystalline pillars were erected around the area. Abundant -most like unlimited- amounts of water flowed from these pillars and into what looks like an empty, dark, and endless void. We were standing on a glowing Triforce symbol. The medallion drawings were colored correctly and were separated; They were elevated up a bit, enough to be like small stepping stones. The podium got replaced with nothing but water, flowing in the same direction as the rest. I looked over my left.

Link certainly did grow up. Sure, he's still wearing that green tunic, but now he was wearing white tights with regular brown gauntlets. A white shirt stuck out from under the tunic, with some string holding it together. Well, his hat did get bigger. And he had muscles to boot. Even his shield turned into the Hylian shield! Which is weird. As for me...

Yeah, I wasn't in great shape. My stomach bulged some, and my legs were in the same condition, if not bigger. Funny, because after all that traveling, I should have lost some weight. Nothing really changed for my clothing, except it got bigger to fit me. The messenger bag I had became smaller, and my shield turned into the Hylian kind, too. Where's the logic?

"Seems you're awake." I turned my head to find an old, bald man in orange, baggy robes standing in front of us, right on the Medallion of Light. It was Rauru, Sage of Light.

"Uh, hi?" I wonder if he just stood there for seven years. Because if he did....it would be creepy.

"Nngh....Wha? Woah! Th-this is!?... Stephanie, is that _you_?" He poked me in the shoulder. I looked over again to find Link startled.

"Make any fat jokes and you're dead."

"Link, you've become an adult! You've grown up! You too, although..." Navi trailed off.

"Calm down Link, and look around you. My name is Rauru. I am one of the ancient sages that constructed the Temple of Time and secured the path to the Sacred Realm. My body is already gone here, but in this 'Chamber of Sages', I am able to speak with you." Ain't the Sacred Realm and 'Chamber of Sages' the same thing? I never really got that part. So, Rauru's like, a ghost eh? Cool.

"What in the world happened to us? When I drew out the sword, I felt very far away...It's like I've been taking a long nap."

"The Master Blade is the holy blade that those with evil hearts could never touch." Huh. Never thought of it as 'holy'. "Only those qualified to become the 'Hero of Time' can remove it from its pedestal." He said what now? So, if I were qualified, I could pull out the blade too..._Duuude_. "However, you were still too young to be the Hero of Time. So, your souls slept here for seven years."

"Seven...YEARS!?!"

"Yup. Ain't life sweet?" The sage nodded.

"During those seven years, Ganondorf invaded the Sacred Realm using the Door you two opened....and obtained the Triforce!"

"Dun dun duuun!!" Rauru stared at me.

"Finished?"

"Hold on....Yeah."

"Alright then. However, his heart was evil, so the Triforce split into three pieces; Ganondorf has the Triforce of Power. Link, you have the Triforce of Courage."

"And Zelda has the Triforce of Wisdom! However, she disappeared into who knows where! Or did she?" Dramatic effect! Rauru cleared his throat.

"Even though Ganon has only one piece, he was still able to spread his dark magic across Hyrule. But there is a a way to win! You must awaken the other sages of Hyrule and break their seals in their temples. If the Sages and the Hero of Time combine their powers, the evil will surely be sealed away!" Yup...Only to break out and flood Hyrule. This got me thinking...Link wasn't there when Ganon broke out because he went for Navi. So, if Navi had stayed, Link wouldn't have gone looking. And if he wouldn't have gone looking, he'd be here to defend Hyrule. And if he were here to defend Hyrule, the Goddesses wouldn't have to flood it. So really, it'd be Navi's fault that Hyrule sunk bottom! I think too much.

"I'm...the Hero of Time?" Link inquired.

"Well, you DID pull out the sword. You might as well be." I shrugged.

"Link, that's amazing!" Navi exclaimed. "If the Great Deku Tree heard about this, he'd be surprised!"

"The Deku Tree already knew," the Sage revealed. "You probably already noticed, but you are not a Kokiri. You are of Hylian descent, just like Princess Zelda." Link gasped. "Before the Kingdom of Hyrule was united... During the times of war... You were born into the guardian house that served the King of Hyrule." So, Link would have been a guardsman. That's interesting. "However, you're father was killed in battle... You're mother, bearing a heavy wound, carrying the baby you... She desperately fled from the burning mansion..." Link had a mansion!? Damn! "...and into the forbidden forest, where she then past away."

"The Deku Tree looked upon the baby...He felt that the child had something to do with Hyrule's future, and accepted him. Someday, he would leave the forest, and fulfill his destiny... However, this didn't change the affection the Deku Tree had for you." Link had a look on his face. What was it called? I think it was solemn.

"I am...a Hylian." He said it slowly.

"From now on...No, even more than before, you will be faced with many trials. That is you're destiny. You must not feel bitter about it." Dude, if that was me, you'd hear me complain for hours. How could you NOT feel bitter?!

"....I do not." Well, unless you're Link. "I've become an adult, and gained power. Now, I can fight him as an equal. If this sword has chosen me... If I am suited to be a hero... I will fight. I will definitely defeat Ganondorf. And this time for sure... I will protect Zelda!" He raised his sword high with pride. Oh yeah, I need to ask Rauru something.

"Excuse me Mr. Sage, I have a question. When I first arrived, the Deku Tree thought I came here through a vortex or something like that. Later on at the castle, Ganon says he thinks he knows who I am. How did I get here, and why?" I folded my arms.

"I'm not sure why," he replied, "but you aren't the only one." I frowned.

"What?"

"You see, at the same time you arrived, several others just like you appeared. However, rogues from the deserts came and kidnapped them. When Ganondorf invaded and attempted to steal the Triforce, he was holding a dark object. An orb, if you will. A chunk of it was broken off from it, though." I scratched my head roughly.

"But...that doesn't make much sense! Why didn't they kidnap me, too? Am I special or something? And what's with the orb, anyway?"

"I do not have all the answers you seek. As far as I'm concerned, you're just a normal girl. And a pudgy one at that." I glared at him.

"Et tu, Rauru? Whatever." He then lifted his arms, as if to reach.

"Before you go, take this, the Medallion of Light." A golden coin dropped from the heights of the chamber and landed in Link's hands. "This shall combine the powers between the Hero of Time and the Sage of Light."

"Thank you." He handed me the medallion, and I stored it away in my now smaller bag.

"Good luck."

* * *

The whole thing was like a flash. One second we were in the Chamber of Sages; the next second here we are, in the Temple of Time. The light that once surrounded us dwindled away. I stretched.

"Well, we should get going. I got some explaining to do, too."

"...Yeah." As we walked out, I kept glancing back, looking for Sheik. No appearance, however. Where is the dude, anyway? "So...what's a video game?"

"Oh, that? Let's see here....Uhh....Well, it's like this thing that uh, ya know....Hmm...Okay okay, it's like this; It could be anything, but right now let's look at the gamecube. Its game is a small, compact, thin little disc that can be put in a cube-like system known as the gamecube and-"

"YAAHH!!" The shout could be heard from outside. Link dashed to the exit.

"Hey, wait!" I ran after him. When I was by his side again, I was already out of breath. I should have taken P.E. more seriously.

A soldier was trying to fight off three Stalfos; Each of them wore a small, pointed helmet with ripped clothing. However, the soldier's armor was really damaged.

"D-damn it! I can't protect Hyrule...any longer! Guaah!" One of the Stalfos knocked off his sword. I think the skeleton is grinning. Is that even possible!?

"Now then, hurry and go to hell." Just as he was about to make the finishing blow, Link swiftly took out the Master Sword and blocked the attack. I think the poor soldier is scared to death.

"Hmph! There were still survivors from the castle?" Another Stalfos inquired.

"The ones going to hell...are YOU guys..." Ooomm, he said a bad wooord! Hehe, _hell_. With his holy blade, Link slashed the monster several times; Its bones crumbled into dust. He then attacked another Stalfos, and its fate was the same. Even though they finally died, their armor and weapons remained. Well, maybe I could get one of those... I need one.

"Wait...That sword is...!" Meh, I guess the remaining skeleton figured it out. "The Master Sword! Then you're...the 'Hero of Time'?" The thing, skeleton, Stalfos, whatever you want to call it, glanced at me. Without warning, the guy went and caught me, holding me captive, his red jagged blade a few centimeters away from my neck. "No matter. Wouldn't want this thing getting hurt now, do you?" The hero gritted his teeth.

"Dammit..." Oh crap. What do I do, what do I do, _what do I do_!?!

"Uh, wait! If you kill me, you won't know where the treasure is buried!" The Stalfos lowered his sword-dagger thing a little. Link casted me the are-you-crazy look.

"What treasure?"

"Uh...The treasure of I.C. Weiner."

"I.C. Weiner?"

"Hehe, you said 'weiner'." He growled, and shoved his sword even closer than before. I should've kept quiet.

"You make some damn joke again and I'll-"

"HYAA!!" The Stalfos let go; I ran very far away from him. Link had cut off one of his arms, the one that beared his broken shield. "Heh, too distracted, aren't you?" Hooray for distractions! The Stalfos merely growled.

"You impudent little--!"

"Link, be careful!" Navi warned him. The Stalfos swung his sword at him. However, Link deflected it with his sword. His enemy swung it once more, only to miss; It hit the ground, for he had dodged it. Then, raising his sword high, Link made his final blow; The monster crumbled, defeated. Only his head remained, for some reason. With some weird purple gas, his head floated into the air.

"Damn it...He's the 'Hero of Time'!?" The head disappeared high into the air. Wonder where its heading...Oh well. Coming back, I grabbed one of their swords off the ground. It may not be the Master Sword, but it's better than nothing.

"Th-thanks a lot. You saved me....You're... You're that boy that was running around in the castle, giving us trouble, right? You've become a wonderful hero." I turned around to see Link bending down close to the weary soldier.

"What's happening in Hyrule now?"

"It's Ganondorf," he replied. "That guy... Somehow, he got ahold of a piece of the Triforce and became the Evil King..." The man sighed. "He turned the beautiful Hyrule, and turned it into a land of monsters. There were rumors about his people, taking foreign children away to their land, the ones with round ears. Just like your friend." He pointed at me.

"Uh, do you know what happened to them?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No... But whatever he's planning to do to them, it can't be good. I'm surprised you're not in the desert right now." I shrugged.

"I guess it's just luck." The soldier took in another breath.

"Anyway, now he's looking for the royal family's heirloom, the one that Princess Zelda has." The Ocarina of Time... I wonder what he did with Link's?

"Princess Zelda? Where is she?!"

"I don't know. Ever since she escaped with Mistress Impa, her whereabouts have been unknown. Now, all of Hyrule Castle has fallen into his hands...Damn it..."

"The castle? I'll go and-"

"Is the castle all black and evil looking? Kinda like a tower, almost?" Everyone looked at me.

"Y-yes... Just as you described. How did you-"

"I'm magical?" Well, at least THAT didn't changed. The man breathed in heavily.

".....I guess this is time for action and not details.... You two go on ahead. I'll be okay here."

"Are you sure?" Link asked.

"Yeah... I just need to catch some rest. But be careful; This place is full of Ganon's underlings." Taking heed of the man's warning, we headed out into the center of the marketplace. The clouds had a dark greyish color to them. The buildings that once housed people are broken down, whether it'd be from the monsters or from the fire. Walls on the houses had large cracks running across them. Doors were broken off. Those things that closed the windows were hanging loosely. Shingles on the roofs continued to fall off. The entire place was devoid of any signs of life.

It's like a fricken ghost town. Where are the Redeads? Or any monsters, for that matter. Actually, nevermind. Link sighed.

"Stephanie, how would you know about the castle?"

"Dude, other world, remember? Why, ya wanna check it?" He nodded.

"Things really did get bad while we're away. The once-bustling marketplace is now..."

"...Ugh..." We looked at Navi. She's still flying, but she's acting weird, kinda like how a fly is after you whack it, only it didn't die, and it's now trying to escape. Yeah, that kind of weird.

"Hey Navi, you sick or somethin'?"

"Navi, what's wrong?" She flapped her wings harder, but it failed. Her wings suddenly stopped working; Navi fell in Link's hand.

"Ugh, it's awful... I feel this dark energy all of a sudden. I just need some time to get used to it."

"Wait, so you get sick from dark energy?"

"No.... It's more like weakened from dark energy. So much of it is coming at once. I need rest." Link took off his hat. Hey, he's got a little ponytail!

"Then, hide in my hat for now, okay?" She immediately hopped in. Putting his hat back on, we headed towards a pointed black thing that loomed over the marketplace. So much happened; I somehow got 'sucked in' to this place and got paired up with fairy boy, whom I shall now call 'manskirt'. We got the three sacred stones, the Ocarina of Time, and a bunch of other things. We met a lot of people, and Blathers; I still don't know how he got here. He talks too much, like Mr. Owl. And now, we find out that I'm not the only foreigner here; others got sucked in, but for some reason, the Gerudos took them away. That, and Ganon has this broken orb, but still works. This is something I'll definitely tell in my history class next time I have to write a report. It was about fifthteen minutes before we came across a narrow pathway. Link stopped. I did too, after finally catching up with him, but fell flat on my back onto the ground; It had taken a LOT of energy to keep up with him. We need horses.

"Steph, is this...is this path the same as when we were little?"

"What do you mean?" I gasped.

"I mean.... Back then, there was this vine, and a guard that stood around a gate. He thought we had this 'Leviathan', remember?"

"'Leviathan'.... Oh yeah, I remember! Yesh, this is supposed to be the same path. Why?"

"It.... It completely changed..." I rolled onto my stomach. Yeah, it is different. It's just one dirty road. Nothing's here. "Come on, get up. We gotta check it out."

"I can't.... I lack.....energy..."

"Oh, come on! Are you that heavy you can't get up?"

What'd he say!? My energy seemed to have rushed back; I got up and wiped off the dirt on my tunic.

"I told you not to make fun of me!"

"I'm not!"

"Oh _sure_; 'Are you that heavy' huh?" I folded my arms. Link groaned and rubbed his forehead.

"Look, let's just go."

"Agreed." Although still a little ticked off, I followed him up the pathway. It was kind of hazy; It's probably that lava stuff. This place definitely does not smell like fresh daisies. A few cracked skulls were scattered here and there. When we got through the pathway, a big cloud of smoke blocked our view; Once the smoke billowed past us, Ganon's Tower blocked our view. I mean, the thing was just _huge_.

The tower was topped with sharp, white spikes. Darkened squares were dented in its walls. In a way, it's like a wedding cake; The higher it went, the smaller the structure got. However, that didn't mean it couldn't get taller. The tower, completely drenched in black, had a large, rectangular entrance. But, there were no bridges; The tower sat idly on a piece of land, above the lava. The area puffed another huge cloud of smoke.

"Th-the castle.... Hyrule Castle is...gone?! What in the world...."

"Dude, do you REALLY think Ganon would keep the same castle if he ruled the land?" He gulped. His companion lifted the rim of his hat some.

"Y-you guys.... I.....I feel an unbelievable amount of energy.... I'm scared!" Navi quickly closed back his hat. I scratched the back of my head. To be honest, I couldn't disagree with her last statement. Somebody suddenly laughed, like they were wheezing or something.

"Hee....Hee hee...." I looked up; A small, purple Poe with her lighted lamp floated down towards us. "Hyrule Castle disappeared a long time ago. Now, this is Ganon's Tower, where Lord Ganondorf resides. We are the masters.... Lord Ganondorf's...." Despite her creepy appearance, it was _way_ better to face her than Redeads.

".....Tch." Without warning, something sharp missed me by a hair and attacked the Poe! "**GET LOST!!**" The ghastly thing disappeared. I'm confused, did he hit it or not? But that's not what I'm really worried about.

"What the hell was that for, Link!? You could've hit me!" I screamed at him. He made no reply.

"What's going on?" Navi flew out of his hat. I guess she's gotten used to it now.

"Link's what's going on! He nearly hit me!"

"He did?" I nodded vigorously.

"Yes! Yes he did!"

"H-huh?" I turned to see that he had slumped to the ground, barely on one knee. "I'm really tired all of a sudden. What's going on?" I folded my arms again and puffed some smoke from my nostrils.

"Hmph! Justice served!" He breathed in heavily.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay!? Jeez... I feel like all of my energy is depleted or something." The fairy circled around his head.

"Hmm...."

"Well? What's the matter with him?"

"He used the power of the sword too much. He needs to use it more efficiently." I sighed.

"How does he use it too- nevermind. Whattya want to do, then?"

"It would be best if you two get some training in." He nodded. Link got up; His legs wobbled as he did so.

"You're right. Even if I have the Master Sword, it wouldn't be any good if I'm not strong."

"Nn. Yeah, I guess that's true. Where do we train, anyway? It's not like we can just pull up a mentor."

"We'll just practice while we get to the temples," Navi explained. "Speaking of the temples, we should get going now. No time to waste here." We walked away from Ganon's creation and back into the ghost town. I got a bad feeling.... I don't like monsters, but I don't like how most of them are not showing up either. Was that soldier sure those guys were still running around? Maybe they went back home?

"Hey Link, is that soldier dude gonna be okay? There's been no sign of any monsters since we left him, besides that poe. I'm kinda gettin' worried..."

"You mean the man we left behind? He said that he'd just have to catch some rest."

"Yes, but what if the others got to him? Then what?" We stopped. Link rested his chin on his hand.

"....That could be a problem."

"We still have the temples to take care of," Navi stated. "Besides, he probably already left."

"How would you know this?"

"I don't; I'm assuming."

"Aww, come on! I wanna see how he's holdin' up!" I threw my hands into the air. "Oh screw this, I'm goin' by myself! Later!" I jogged towards the Temple of Time.

"Hey! Wait!" I didn't bother to. I went into the center of the broken down marketplace and made a left, then another; The path was twisted. Just being a few feet away from my destination, I stopped and bent down to breathe again. I wiped the sweat off my forehead, when a hand suddenly clamped onto my shoulder! I jumped.

"YAHH!! I may be fat, but I ain't tasty! I'm not a warthog, pleasedon'teatme!!!" I screamed as loud as I could.

"Stephanie, why would I want to eat you?" I turned around to find everyone's favorite manskirt.

"Waah! Don't do that!"

"Well then next time, don't run off! Sheesh!"

".....Fine. But I'm still going." With Link and Navi in tow, I walked over to the Temple of Time. And, just as I thought, the poor soldier was still there, lying down. It looked like he hasn't even moved an inch... "Err... Is he breathing? 'Cause I don't think he's alive......." Link stepped cautiously to the man.

"S-sir? Are you okay?" My heart started beating rapidly. Link bent down close to him, and extended his hand towards his breastplate. When it seemed like he touched it, his hand instead went through the man! Link pulled back and stumbled onto the ground. "W-w-what!? What the-?!" I froze up.

"What the hell just happened!?!" I screeched. His body almost became nothing but a blur. In fact, it was rather fuzzy. It twitched every so often. Holy shit, is he actually... "He's holographic!" I realized. I couldn't believe it. This guy.... How did it all happen?! Just how!?!

"Eek! H-he's like a ghost!" Navi exclaimed. Then, the body began disintegrating, starting with the legs. We watched as the soldier slowly disappeared, perhaps never to be seen again. No one said a word. I gulped.

I don't think Hyrule is what it's all cracked up to be. Either that, or Ganondorf must somehow be behind this, with his broken little orb. But then, I don't think even he can do this sort of stuff. A sudden thought suddenly struck in my head.

This is a game. A video game.

Video games are virtual.

And what we saw..... could only be caused by high technology. Video games are just that. And they're only in my homeworld.

"You....You guys? I want to go. I don't want to stay here any longer..."

".....Yeah." Link got up, and we walked out. The place was still empty; Not even little critters went about here. We were near the broken bridge that led out of this place, when about three Redead sprung out from under the barren earth, across from the bridge.

Oh, NOW they decided to show up. Link unsheathed his sword. I got into a fighting stance with my dagger.

"Watch out!" Navi warned. I nodded, and together we dashed towards them. I thought Link's energy was gone? Must've recovered. Or something.

"Hiya!" Link gave a huge vertical slash to his first target. The thing's body parts, sliced in equal halves, fell. Nasty green blood gushed from the parts. Link headed for another one, leaving me with the one on the right.

Alright, my time to shine! Huffing away, I tried attacking the enemy with a horizontal slash. But I forgot one thing.

These things freeze their prey. And as such, I froze, unable to move. I tried and tried to move at least an inch, but nothing. I even tried to speak, but my lips wouldn't move, either. This....is really bad. I started to panic.

"OoooOOOooooOOooooommmm......" Oh no, oh no! Please don't let it get close to me! Please! I could only watch in horror as that undead thing stalked closer to me. Closer....closer...... And finally, it jumped on me; It wrapped its legs around my neck, and I couldn't breathe because it was so tight.

Damn it, now I know how Link feels when he gets raped by these things. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, something sharp pierced my neck, and I felt my blood being drained. Oh dammit, it bit me! It fricken bit me!

"Gaahh...! Ack!......" Everything was getting all fuzzy. Am I going to die?

"Get off her!" Eh? Who was that? Whoever it was, the guy got the Redead off of me. I coughed; At least I can breathe again. But still, I was shaking, feeling very cold on the inside for some odd reason. Pain strongly lingered on my wounded neck, and I don't think it stopped bleeding. Everything was still fuzzy, if not fuzzier. I couldn't take it anymore; I fainted.

* * *

".....ie......." Hmm...? I heard something. "......anie....Stephanie......!" Hey, that's my name! I sat up, finally consious again. I looked around. Link, with some of his tunic covered by some green stuff, sat next to me. We were under a huge tree, with its leaves all brown. A small fire was set up. I couldn't tell what time of day it was; Dark clouds filled up the whole sky.

"What the- How long have I been out!?" A small sting of pain lingered on my neck. I held it gently; Something soft covered the wound. It wrapped around my neck.

"You were bleeding, so we went and bandaged it up. I used some of my sleeve." Link pointed toward his sleeve. It was ripped up a bit.

"You're sleeve....?"

"Yeah. We're lucky that we didn't face a lot of monsters. You could've been toast." He gave a sheepish grin. Navi fluttered beside him. She gave off a faint bluish glow.

"You need to be more careful. We may not be around all the time. You'll definitely need more training." I nodded, and sighed.

"Hey, how come you didn't freeze up?"

"Hm? What, oh that? I dunno. Guess I'm just stronger." He shrugged.

"So..... How long have I been out?"

"It lasted all day," Link replied. "I didn't think you'd make it. You were kinda heavy to pull, too." I groaned and lied down again.

"Dangit, this sucks. I end up being food for Redeads. Yuck." I made a face. "And the fact I've been out-cold for an entire day makes it worse...." I sighed again. And Manskirt made a reference to my weight. Wonderful.

"Well, don't fret," Navi said. "No one tried attacking us after the last battle, thank goodness. We'll need to rest up; Tomorrow, we head for the temple." We nodded. Link backed up against the tree. "By the way...I feel like we're forgetting something." I frowned. What would that be?

"What did we forget?" I asked.

"I don't know. It just feels like it."

"Maybe we did forget something..." The hero said thoughtfully. Hmm.... I feel it, too. But what? "Oh well. I can't sleep. Wanna play a game?"

"Game...? Wait...... Game!" I exclaimed, realizing what we forgot. "I was supposed to tell you guys about 'video games'!"

"Oh yeah!" Navi realized, too. "But let's wait till tomorrow. Today was....exhausting." She yawned, and went inside Link's hat. I yawned too, and went to sleep, despite having already been unconsious. But I'm still disturbed by the holographic soldier. What's happening in Hyrule?

* * *

**And so I leave you with this chapter! Originally, I planned to make this a 6000+ word chapter. But it went to 7000+. ^_^; Oh well. **

**Next chapter: We're gonna get to the Forest Temple! Yay! :D**

**Hehe. 'I.C. Weiner'.**


	15. Chapter 14

**I got myself the english version of the manga! Yippee! Only it's meant to be 'for kids' and it's all edited and stuff. I might just go back to the fan translation. -shrug- Oh yeah, hope ya don't mind, but I'm planning to add the dungeon layout of the temples. Yeah. Why didn't I do this for the other dungeons? I'll tell you at the end. (Added- I had a block writers, or writer's block, or whatever you people call it. Just. Couldn't. Break it!)**

**I don't own Zelda.**

* * *

"-Zelda seals his fatass into the Sacred Realm, you go back to being a kid, Navi leaves you for some unknown reason, you meet up with younger Zelda again, and BAM! Ending. Then a year later or so, you go looking for either Navi or some dumb Skullkid, and while you're traveling, Hyrule gets flooded and dies 'cause Ganon broke out of his little prison. Then there's supposed to be another sequel, but it's really just a big ocean with little islands floatin' around. Navi, do I gotta explain the island thing? 'Cause I _really _don't feel like it." I rubbed my neck. We woke up this morning, and the fire had died down. Without any breakfast, we packed up and travelled straight forward, hoping to find the next temple. Meanwhile, I went and explained the whole thing to my teammates for reals this time. It was freaking _tiring_.

"No, that should be good enough. So we need to get to the Forest Temple you say?"

"Yeah. But don't go expecting it like I said, though. I only remember the original version. Even though I know what Master Quest is about, I haven't actually played through all of it, and I don't remember my brothers playing it, either. Plus, the story didn't go as it's supposed to. Well, it wouldn't anyway, 'cause I'm here." I put both of my hands behind my head. "Hey Link, ya haven't said anything yet. You sick?" I looked over. He was frowning.

"Saria's.....a Sage? Darunia? Ruto too? Even Impa.....?" Manskirt shook his head. We stopped.

"You can't really help it, ya know," I told him. Link sighed.

"I know..... But, it's still a shock. Are you sure Zelda's......safe?" I nodded. I couldn't tell them that she was disguised as Sheik.

"Yup. Wait'n for you to kick Mr. Pickle's can. Besides, I can't really tell you; The dude's probably eavesdropping on us. Sneaky, sly little green pig....... Mm-mm-mm." I made a 'tsking' noise with my tongue.

"But wait. If he's listening in to our conversation, then he would know about the sages, wouldn't he?" Navi inquired. "And wouldn't he try.....killing them off? Not to mention he might do something about his fate..." We all went silent.

Aw fudgecake.

"Damn!" I cursed. "He might be taking care of 'em right now! But we can't get to the temple yet; We gotta get the hookshot! But this place is so large..... Larger than the last time we're here, I think. Where would the village be?" Oh, this would be so much _easier _if we just had some sort of map! Everything was so smaller in the game. I'm not even sure if Kakariko is in the same spot anymore!

"Let's think. Stephanie, in the game, where should Kakariko Village be?" Link asked. I scrunched up my face and thought about it.

"Hmm...... We were heading for the Kokiri place...... Judging by our position...... Uh...... It should beee...... That way!" I pointed in a north-west direction. "Kinda close to the castle though. I'm not sure if it's still there..."

"Well, it's better to have some kind of lead. Let's hurry!" We dashed off in the direction, hoping to find the hookshot.

* * *

"C'mon, Steph...... We're almost there......"

"I can't!" I whined. "My feet hurt, ha, and I'm tired. Can't we......just rest!? We haven't even had breakfast!" We.....were in the middle of nowhere. The sun was able to pierce through the dark clouds, but it was brighter than it should be. And it made the place heat up a ton. The land was nothing but dirt and rocks, save for a few patches of yellow-green grass here and there. The blackened trees here either had no leaves and wilted or were cut down.

Dammit! Why does Ganondorf have to make things so difficult!? I am so going to find blackmail on him if it's the last thing I do around here. And I can't believe I forgot about the hookshot. Curse my short-term memory-whatevers! We'll need to stock up on whatever we can find, get some horses, and then continue. But we need to earn some cash...... We've been broke the entire journey. I just realized that now.

"We'll.....ha...get there.....in no time......" Link said between his gasps.

"In no time, ha, you mean foreveerrrr...." I felt like crying. This heat was unbearable.

"Navi....... Are you sure.......you don't see anything?"

"Not a thing. This wasteland just goes on and on...." She fluttered away from us. "Hmm. You know what, you two stay here. I'll go ahead and check." And with that, she was gone, leaving us in this terrible place. I fell flat on my bottom, relieved that we didn't have to walk any farther. At least for now. Manskirt sat down, too.

"Looks like we'll have to wait until Navi gets back." He let out a long sigh. Link wiped his brow. "This place.... He changed this beautiful land into a barren wasteland.... I won't forgive him." His eyes narrowed. I lied down on my back.

"You....wouldn't forgive him, anyway," I reminded him. "He killed off the Great Deku Tree, made dragons act up, and had fun with fat fishies. Oh geez that sounded so wrong. Haha.....Haa..... I wonder when Navi'll get back." There was no decent shade here. Hopefully she'll get back before we get burnt.

.....About ten minutes had passed by when she left. I groaned.

"Dammit, she sure is taking her time! What's taking her so long!?" I got up, and looked around. "Does she get tired from flying? I mean, I don't blame her for that, it probably takes a huge toll on her, but jeez. Don't leave us here, Navi!" I shouted, shaking my fist into the air. I sighed. "Hey Link, wanna play Tic-Tac-Toe or somethin'? It's boring out here." No response came from my partner. I frowned. "Dude, if ya don't understand then I can always explain the rules to ya. It's not that hard." Still, nothing. My heart started racing. "Um, dude, ya listenin' to me? Hey? Heeey?" But all he did was sit there, his head tilted forward, not moving a muscle. Just like that soldier......

Oh no.

What if that, whatever-it-is, got to him, too!? Nonononono, NO! He can't disappear, he's the fricken hero for god's sake! Panicking, I ran to his side. I grabbed him by the shoulders. At least he ain't holographic.

"Link, Link!?! Come on, man, don't go into the darkness, we need you here! Are you listening to me?! Can you even hear me right now?! Say something, please!" I breathed rapidly. I was about to shout for help....

....When I heard a soft snore. Slowing down, I stared at him, shocked. Manskirt wore a happy face, snorting every once in a while. My eye twitched. He was sleeping!? This whole time!?! How did he even sleep through all that?! Augh, I was getting worried for nothing! I so desperately want to slap him, but decided against it and let him go. My face went all red with embarrassment.

"You could've at least warned me....." I whispered. I was about to go back to my spot when I saw something on the right side of his neck. Curious, I leaned closer, examining it. It looked like......some sort of weird circle. There were teeth marks on it, but they didn't get to his blood. Woah, woah, woah, where did THIS come from? Couldn't be Navi, she's too small for that. Not me, I do not recall ever trying to give him a hickey. Then I froze. It dawned on me.

The Redead....

* * *

_-Stephanie's Mind Theatre-_

_3...._

_2...._

_1...._

_A tall, handsome, Link with a thorned red rose in his mouth ran in slow motion through a flowery meadow, filled with joy. He held out his muscular arms, ready to embrace something or someone. A disfigured and pruny Redead, wearing a pink sundress with a pink bow on her head, ran the same way at him, ready to embrace too._

_"Oh, my handsome and precious Link~!" She called out._

_"Oh, my beautiful and way-hotter-than-Zelda Redead~!" His voice rang like bells throughout the meadow. Surprisingly, the rose didn't fall out of his mouth. They hopped at each other, and hugged in midair. Falling down in the flowers' petals, they laughed as they rolled around, glistening in......happiness. Yeah. They soon stopped, with Link on top of her (or was it a he?) as he caressed her squared chin, dazzling her like Edward Cullen does. He smiled at her. "So, my beautiful beloved," he began, "how was life today? Nothing bad I hope?" The unnamed Redead turned away from him suddenly, whimpering and shedding tears of sadness._

_"Oh, it was horrible, my love! My master, Lord Ganondorf, touched me in places he shouldn't again! Everyone in the castle made rude, sexual remarks at me while I went past them, saying things like 'I'd like to get a piece of that ass!' and 'Hey, Sexy, wanna go to my room and have fun?'." She sobbed even harder. 'The worst, was when Zelda saw me. She tugged at my head, ruined the dress I previously was going to show up in, and spat saliva at me! All because I'm in love with you, beloved!" She heaved as her sobbing continued on Link's chest. He growled._

_"Do not worry, love, for when we wed no harm shall enter your life! Curse that master of yours, and his servants! And damn the dreaded Zelda into the fiery pits of Hell, where she will be burned and tortured at the hands of the devil for causing you harm!" He embraced the saddened Redead. She stopped crying, and gazed tearfully at her man._

_"Oh, my Link, we will be wed? When?" He smirked._

_"Ah yes, that. Soon, if you'll do just one thing for me." He got down to one knee, and took out the thorned rose. He held it out to her. "Dear Redead, my beloved......Will you be my wife?" She gasped, blushing, and held her hands to her face._

_"Oh, oh yes! Yes I will!" Giggling, she threw herself into the arms of her now-fiance. They then gazed at each other longingly...._

_"I love you, my sweet rose."_

_"I love you, my brave knight." Then they went into a deep, passionate kiss, and it was followed by things that are currently being censored._

_Meanwhile, Link's fatass-of-a-sidekick lied on the ground somewhere in Hyrule, twitching and dying because of bloodloss. All because of Link's fiance's sister._

_"Won't somebody help me?" She cried. Dying hurts. Link's guardian, Navi, sat on the ground with her hair in a frizzy afro, smoking tremendous amounts of pot._

_"One thang fo' sure, I ain't helpin' no damn weaklin'." She puffed smoke out of her pipe._

_-Fin-_

* * *

"AAAUUGH! THE IMAGE, IT _BURRRNSSS!!!_" I screeched. I shook my head violently, anything to get rid of that awful scene.

"Stephanie, what's going on?" I slowly turned around to find everyone's awaited fairy. My eyes began to well up.

"Navi!" I cried. "It buurrrnnssss.... It burns so bad..."

"What burns?"

"Images.....That!" I pointed an accusing finger at Manskirt's neck. "The horror!" She fluttered to him.

"This? This is from the Redead, I reckon." Oh god, my scenes ARE coming true! "I didn't think teeth marks would be here.... Oh well. I guess he just didn't get it off sooner."

".......Say wha?"

"He didn't freeze, but the Redead hopped onto him," she explained. "Link did manage to get it off him, but apparently it still bit him." She sighed. "I'd rather not know what you thought this was."

"......Yeah, you wouldn't." I walked to Link, and this time slapped him.

"Oowww!" He yelled out. "What was that for!?"

"Oh, NOW you wake up...." I mumbled. "In case you haven't noticed, Navi's here." He finally took notice of her.

"Oh." Getting up, dusting dirt off our tunics, we headed in the path Navi directed us in.

"Hey Navi, what took ya so long?"

"I can't exactly fly at the speed of light, you know." And so the conversation ended. We trudged along the path, trying to beat the heat. It took us a good ten minutes, the same amount of time Navi had taken, before my eyes took notice of distant images of buildings. I wiped off the sweat again, and even wringed out the rim of my tunic; A few drops of sweat dripped. Afterwards, I shielded my eyes from the harsh sunlight.

"Is.... Is that what I think it is? Tell me I'm not imagining anything."

"You're not," Link replied. "I see it too."

"Finally. I thought we'd _never_ get there." I let out a sigh of relief.

**SWOOSH!**

"Uh, what was that?" Navi asked.

"Oh my god... Ninjas!"

"Just what in the world are 'ninjas'?"

"Gyah!" I turned to see a dagger stuck in the ground, very close to Link. Just then, someone leaped out of nowhere and attacked Link! He blocked the attack with his sword. I was about to run in, but then I had flashbacks about the Redeads. So instead, I threw my dagger at the enemy. The enemy jumped out of the way. Crap. Manskirt wobbled, and fell flat on his butt. The guy went and almost stabbed him, but held his weapon a few centimeters away from his neck.

"Ha! That sword!" He pulled back. Wait a minute. That's not a guy. That's not a guy at all!

"Impa!?" I stood there, shocked.

"Wait.... That's Impa?" Link asked. She smiled.

"Haven't forgotten about me after seven years, have you?" Impa took hold of his hand and heaved him up. "Come with me. You must be tired wandering out here."

"Thank you!" We followed her into Kakariko Village. It was a decent town. Grass growed everywhere on the ground. Trees brimmed with fresh green leaves. Villagers went about their own business, whether it'd be pulling crates of hay or chatting with their neighbors. A huge windmill moved slowly, making squeaky sounds as it moved. A few cuccos pecked around. And the houses were nice-looking and clean, too. The place was surrounded by walls of rock. "Wow. This place looks like it hasn't even heard of evil." I was amazed, even though the village was supposed to be peaceful.

"I protect this village. Monsters show up around here nowadays. They even disguise themselves as humans from time to time and attack. That's why I attacked you; I was being cautious," Impa explained.

"I see..." Link said thoughtfully. We made our way into one of the houses. A rather large and old woman cooked, with her dark hair tied up in a bun. She cooked on what's probably the 'stove', with an open fire crackling underneath. The foods she cooked welcomed us with delicious, savory smells. A large wooden table was placed in the middle of the room, with chairs to boot; Plates, bowls, and cups were set. A small lantern hung from the wooden ceiling. Blue round pots were placed on brick stands. A tall set of stairs led up to another floor.

"Ms. Sally, we have some guests," Impa announced. The woman, Ms. Sally, stopped and looked from the sideways.

"Oh, Mistress Impa, you're back!" Her eyes found us. "Uhh, what in the world are they doing with those weapons? Are they your guests, Mistress Impa?"

"Why yes. And I'd certainly appreciate it if you made some food for them as well." She nodded, and went back to cooking.

"So wait, we're getting food?" I scratched the back of my head. Impa confused me on that one.

"Well, yes. Would you rather starve and sleep outside, when it would be cold?"

"....Bring on the food!" I pumped a fist into the air. "Yum yum yum, in my tum, here I come!" She chuckled.

"Oh, uh, Miss Impa? You sure you want to do this?" Link inquired. She nodded.

"Why not? You two definitely need it, wandering in that field. And besides," she went on to add with a wink, "it's not everyday the Hero of Time appears." Ms. Sally gasped.

"Is that true? But I thought the Hero of Time was the stuff of legends!" Wha? So other people knew about him? I don't recall this.

"Oh no, it's very true. He's standing right here. Link, why don't you show her your sword?" We all turned our eyes on him. He had a confused expression on his face, but he unsheathed his mighty blade.

"That symbol-! It truly is!" She exclaimed in astonishment.

"Now then," Impa began, "I hope you don't mind, but I wish for them to stay for the night, where they can restore their energy."

"Y-yes, of course." He put away his sword. Just then, I felt a little nudge on my shoulder.

"Hey!" Navi whispered. "Get Link- We need to talk."

"Okay. Yo, Manskirt," I whispered, poking him constantly, "Navi says we need to have a little chit-chat here!" He stared at me, his brows furrowed.

"Man....skirt?"

"Yeahyeahyeah, whatever." I pulled him by the wrist and led him into a corner. "Don't mind us, ladies! It's buddy stuff!" We made ourselves comfortable, leaving space in the middle for Navi. "Alright, so.... What is this about?"

"We need to get the hookshot, right? Let's get it and go." At this I frowned.

"Well yeah, SURE, but what about the food? I'm hungry!"

"What's more important, your stomach or Hyrule?" I thought about it.

"If I said my stomach, could we get free food?"

**BAM!**

"Oww..... I guess that's a no...." I clutched to my stomach and fell on my knees. She brings one hell of a punch!

"Uh, Navi? Was that necessary?"

"No, but it felt good."

"Miss, are you alright? You look like you're in pain." I forced a smile at Impa.

"Uh, hahahe, no no, it's okay!..... I don't think we can stay over for dinner though..." Oh the pain!

"Really? What a shame. Remember, if you need anything, you can always come back." And with that, she went upstairs. When I recovered, we headed to our destination: the graveyard.

Unlike in Kakariko Village, where the sun shone bright, grey clouds blocked the sky, sometimes thundering. Tomb stones were set in rows, lining the buried dead. Grass grew here, but it wasn't as plentiful. Near the graveyard was an old and wooden lodge, in which the grave-keeper once lived. Lanterns hung in midair. I gulped; I wanted this to get over with quickly.

"We're at the graveyard. Where's the hookshot?" Manskirt asked.

"Should be over here." We walked to a tomb stone on the far left, with a name carved into it. It read 'Dampe'. That was it? "Well then..." I looked left and right. Good; The poes didn't act up. My heart started racing. "Link, I need you to pull this thing."

"Wait, what?"

"I need you to pull it." I gave the stone a little tug. "We gotta get this thing moved so we can get in."

"We're going inside a GRAVE!?" Oh god, he can _screech_.

"Yes. Now hurry up!" He hesitated before grabbing hold of the stone. He pulled on it, taking small tugs at it one at a time, before the passageway slowly revealed. Well, this is it. Going to get a hookshot, going to have to race against a ghost... Please let me keep up! I breathed in heavily. "Okay.....okay. Ya ready?" Finishing his job, he walked over to my side.

"Ready, although this is strange..." Link jumped in first, giving a little yelp along the way. I rather climbed in, holding the edges of the hole for dear life. When I let go, I couldn't help but scream. It felt like an endless fall before my bottom made contact with something solid; A cold, concrete stone was more like it.

"Oof! Ouch!" I rubbed my behind and looked around. I was on a huge square platform created with concrete stones. Pillars, four or six of them, were erected on the four corners of the platform. Everything else -the walls and floor- were covered in dirt. Or maybe they were carved out of dirt? That's more plausible. I noticed Link standing, with Navi illuminating the area around him. "Hey, Link!" I called out, getting off of the floor. He turned around.

"Hm? Oh, it's you."

"Well, duh! Who else would it- AHH!" Oh dear god this was scary. It's the freaking ghost, the grave-keeper, Dampe! He was floating in the air, holding a lit plain lantern. All of his hair was gone, his teeth all twisted and out of shape, and a hunchback to boot. He had nothing on but a brown robe and boots. To top it off, he had a glowing halo above his head. A faint scent of rotting flesh filled the room. I really felt like throwing up.

"Heeheehee!" The ghost cackled. "Visitors! Who would have thought? Ahahehehe..." He ended his little laugh with a cough. Clearing it, he resumed, "Heh heh heh, say, are you two fast on your feet?"

"I think so?"

"Like hell-"

"Good!" He interrupted me. "I may not look like it, but I'm confident in my speed! Let's have a race, shall we?" I let my mouth drop open.

"WHAT!? I can't do that, I'll fall behind!"

"Follow me if you dare!" He floated in a ghastly way out of the room and into the carved-out tunnel behind him. My pleas were not heard. Oh dammit!

"Come on, let's hurry!" Link ushered. He ran after the ghost. I frowned before going after them. Augh, I should've just let Manskirt go in there! Fast on your feet my ass.... He doesn't even use any! That bastard! Running along, Dampe left little balls of fire on the floor, leading to him. I panted, trying to keep up; We took a few lefts and rights, and there was this altar that produced purple flames. Passing it, I heard a cranking sound.

_Clack clack clack clack clack clack... _The passageways were sealing off. Twists and turns later, we entered a barren room with nothing but big pointy rocks in it. I almost ran into one of them.

"Ack!" Following the path of the graveyard's ghost, we took another turn and passed another altar with purple flames burning brightly. The sounds of cranking return behind us. The next room had huge block pillars with old writing into them. They had a blackish color to them. We paced around them and found three passageways, all of which we had to climb on. Link hopped over the one in the middle. "Hey, wait for me!" Ah, but he didn't. He just left me behind in the dust.

Crap! Breathing really hard now, I struggled getting over the one Link took, slipping off a few times. When I managed to get over the obstacle, I jogged in the path. It only led in one direction.

"Wait.... For me!" I gasped. I felt slightly dizzy. Now just power-walking into the next room, I found that it was just an empty room. A room with a road twisted, and an open passageway at the very top. The Hero was nearing it! "Wait!" Using whatever strength I had left, I ran after him in hopes of catching up. However, he already went through the path. And when he did that...

_Clack clack clack..._Oh shi-!

"Wahh! Please wait!" My heart and lungs felt like they would burst at any given moment. This was it now. The moment between life and death as we know it. The time has come! "GYAAH!" With one final boost, I dashed to the closing exit, feeling the determination flowing through me. Everything seemed to go in slow-mo. My feet, stomping against the barren floor, echoed. The cranking got louder with each 'clack'. I extended my arm, reaching for the holy exit...

Only for it to shut on me.

* * *

_Link's POV_

My legs and feet were burning. My chest heaved with each breath. I followed the strange ghost into a room, whose two torches were golden and set ablazed. Nothing else was in here, and an open passageway was directly across from me. The ghost stopped in the middle, between the torches. He looked at me with his bulging eye.

"Hehehe, young man... You were very quick to be able to keep up with me! Hehehe!" I shrunk down and grinned. What a compliment! "As a reward, I'm going to give you my treasure, the Hookshot!"

"Alright!" It's actually kind of weird, going into a grave for this. Well, at least we got what we came for. Now we can get to the Forest Temple! "Stephanie, we got it! We got the-" I turned around, ready to announce our victory, but she was not behind me. I frowned. "Wait, what? Where is she?" I looked around, but to no avail did I find her.

"Link!" Navi cried out. "She got left behind!" My eyes widened.

"What!? But...how?"

"Your friend was rather slow," the ghost replied behind me. "and because of that, the door closed on her. Now she is stuck in the tunnels!" I began to panic.

"Please, get her out!"

* * *

_Stephanie's POV_

I took in deep breaths. Okay, okay, calm down. M-maybe this isn't so bad... As long as he's got the hookshot, we still got a chance... And besides, he might come back for me. But then he might not... But, he wouldn't leave someone like me all alone in this scary place, right? Y-yeah, he's a good person, so I don't think he'd do that. Just think of a happy place. A happy place. A happy-

OH WHO AM I KIDDING?!

"AHHH! Somebody, _heeeeeeelp!!!_" I screamed. This place is creepy as hell! I started coughing soon after, and when I tried to speak my voice became raspy. I decided to not risk the vocal cords and immediately banged on the slab that blocked the passageway. I repeatedly attacked it with full force, but with each hit it became more energy consuming, tiring. After so many punches, I gave up. Sitting down with my back against the slab, I covered my face while my mind asked me, 'Why, why, _why!? _Why must you be so slow!? Dammit woman, when you get out of here you're gonna exercise whether you like it or not! But _oooh_,' it began in a mocking tone, 'that won't happen anyway, because you're NEVER GETTING OUT! YOU ARE A-'

"OOF!" My back had somehow found the ability to descend upon the floor, despite being against something, oh, I dunno, SOLID? Where is the logic around here?!

...Wait. Since when did this place have logic anyway?

"Ah, you're okay!" I quickly turned my attention to whoever was behind me.

"Link? Navi? Thank god!" I got up and rushed into the room I failed to get in. "Man, I am SO glad to see you both!" Dampe cackled behind them.

"Heeheehee! You should be thankful I opened that doorway for you, little lady!"

"Well, thank-"

"If that lad didn't get through my challenge, I never would have opened it! Heehee!" Now I say wha? What challenge? Just then, Navi made a soft sound. As it grew louder, I realize she was...crying?

"Er, Navi? Something wrong?" She sniffed.

"I... I just weep for knowledge, that's all."

"Just what are you talking about?"

"I think she's talking about that challenge I took," Link answered for her. "But I really have no clue as to why she's crying. I passed it."

"What was the challenge?"

"It was a question, actually." He smiled so big someone could take it off. "It was kind of tough, but I managed to pull through!" Navi cried even louder. "The question was..." How many countries there are? What's Dampe's name? Why is there a Master Sword?! "...What was two plus two!"

...I don't believe there are any words to describe what I'm feeling right now.

"You can't possibly be serious..."

"He's got a good head on him! I didn't think anyone could answer that difficult question!" I can feel your pain, Navi. "And do you want to know the answer to it, my dear?"

"Uhh..." Something tells me it's not going to be the right one.

"It was FISH!" Link exclaimed proudly.

...Who in HELL taught him math?!

Actually, scratch that. I have a feeling it's Mido.

* * *

Getting out of that grave, we went to Impa who agreed to help us with supplies. There were food rations, two flasks of water, a map, a compass, a bundle of arrows, and some bombs. She also gave me a shield, since I don't have one. Afterwards, we walked all the way to the exit of Kakariko.

"This should be good. This village doesn't have any bows, so you need to find one on your own. Good luck." Impa then headed back to her house. I smiled.

"Okay, my Manliest Of the Manly Manskirt who is really more of a Bishounen, let us go to the Forest Temple!" I dramatically pointed forward.

"Um...Okay?" And so, we journeyed off to Link's home, the land of the ever-lasting youth of children, the Kokiri Forest!

* * *

_Link's POV_

What in the world is a 'Bishounen'? She speaks strangely. Ah well. With her carrying all of our supplies save for my flask, we set out for the temple. I hope Saria's okay...

"Oh yeah, we should probably get some horses, too," Stephanie recommended. "They go faster, and if we get cold or run outta food, we can use 'em. Ehehehe..." I stared at her, shocked. She had a creepy look on her face. Does she want to eat a horse?!

"Stephanie, no," Navi declared.

"But-but-"

"No. We were already sidetracked for that hookshot, we need to get back on our quest." She puffed up her cheeks and folded her arms, shrinking down a bit.

"Fine," she grumbled. It was about noon when we started out, but by the time we made it to the very entrance of Kokiri forest, it was almost sunset. We only stopped twice, once to eat our fill, and the second time to take a break. The sun's rays beamed down on us the entire time; I couldn't describe how hot it was. Needless to say, we both were quite covered in sweat. "Waahh! I'm soaked in sweat!" Stephanie complained. "We would've saved ourselves and get here faster if Navi just let us-"

"Quit complaining! We're here, aren't we?" The two bickered as we entered. Nothing seemed to have changed. The trees, the bridge we walked on, everything still looks the same. That is, except for the atmosphere... Something didn't seem right about it. Perhaps it was the humid air? I can't place my finger on it... Well, we finally came back. Just as we left it.

"Oh, blahblahblah, Navi! You just want to- Oh, we're here? Cool."

"Hey! Don't change the subject just like that!" We walked into the forest. Everything still had their natural, untainted forms. It's as if Ganon's power never reached this area, even though Stephanie said stuff about this place, how there were going to be monsters around. How nice. How nostalgic...

How quiet. In fact, too quiet... Where is everyone? They're not even outside...

"Okay people, whatever you do, don't go near any weird red plants," Stephanie warned. "If ya do, you'll get atta-AAHH!" I quickly turned to see her surrounded by large, vicious-looking monster plants. She warned us, but she's near the plants herself!

"Deku Babas!" Navi exclaimed. "Stephanie, attack them!"

"I'm workin' on it!" She swung her dagger awkwardly at them, trying to hit; She only managed to get one down. I rushed to the scene to help.

"Hiya!" Taking out my sword, I slashed one of the nearby Deku Babas. Together, we took them down by hacking and slashing. There were at least five of them; I managed to get three. "You know, you fight weird." She shrugged.

"My bad. But hey, we're still alive, aren't we?"

"Wahh!!" That sound...! It came from nearby!

"Come on man, let's go!" We hurried to the source of the sound. When we got there, we saw another Deku Baba advancing on a small child in green- a Kokiri, no doubt.

Wait, a Kokiri? That's one of my friends! I jumped in and struck the monster, swinging horizontally. The plant was defeated in a single hit. Sheathing my sword, I bent down to examine the child.

"You okay?" The child wore a hat similar to mine, and wore shorts that are slightly ripped on the rems; It was a boy. He lowered his arm, previously covering his face to protect it. My eyes widened in realization when I saw his face.

Mi... Mido?

It's Mido, isn't it? All we did was fight. The Great Deku Tree always scolded us. Well, his hateful look on his face still hasn't changed. But... He's still a kid. Stephanie never mentioned why he's like that...

"Mi..." I began.

"Tch. All over the forest, there's nothing but monsters. It's because that guy left!" Mido spat. I froze. His words rang through my ears... It's...because of me? Mido got up and kicked the grass. "It's become like this because that jerk Link left with that stupid girl and broke the law of the forest!" I got up too, stunned.

"That's... No, Ganondorf was..." I couldn't find my voice...

"Hey hey hey, wait a minute!" Stephanie spoke up. "Don't you realize that Link is-"

"Is what? GONE!?" He shouted at her. I flinched. "Not being able to play outside anymore... Saria's leaving... **Everything is HIS fault!!**" Did he say...

"Saria?" I clasped my hands onto his shoulders. "Please, tell me! Where is she?!" He gave me a frightened, shocked look, and slapped me away.

"I-it's got nuthin' to do with you two!" He ran off.

"Ah! Please, wait!" I cried out, running after him.

"Wait for moi, Link!" Stephanie shouted behind me. Chasing him, we followed him up a wall of vines that lead to higher land. While climbing, Mido looked down on us.

"Gah! Leave me alone!"

"But you don't understand!"

"I don't NEED to 'understand'!" he shouted at me. "I just need to get away from you freaks!" He paced up, and made it all the way. I tried to hurry when Mido stood up and ran into a large, hollow, wooden passage far across to the left.

"Hurry Stephanie!"

"I'm going, I'm going!"

"He ran into the Lost Woods," Navi announced. "If he gets lost there, he'll become a Skullkid!" A Skullkid...?

No! There's no time to think of that right now! Getting to the top, we followed his tracks into the passage. Going through, we entered a spacious place, with lush green grass, the woods surrounding every corner of this place, and three other wooden passages that could lead anywhere. And Mido must've went through one of them.

"Damn!" I cursed. "If I were Mido, which path would I choose?"

"Don't worry 'bout it," Stephanie said in between breaths. "If he knows about Saria's whereabouts, then he'd follow the pathway into the Sacred Forest meadow."

"But which path would it be?"

"Follow me and find out!" With that said, she went ahead of me, making a turn and going through the passage on the right. In the next place, there was a huge tree with a bull's eye target on it. Strange... Following her, she made a left where a passage was framed with stone, and then a right where a deep pool of water resided. I felt a little uncertain.

"Are you sure you're going the right way?"

"Of course, dude. I've been through here dozens of times!" We kept going by going straight forward, but there were still no signs of Mido. We then made a left, and when she made a right, we entered a place with no passage; Instead, a huge black iron gate, locked, blocked a path across from us. Tall, leafy grass grew on the sides.

And Mido was being attacked by two large, growling beasts. He held a stick, trying to fend them off.

"Go back to where you came from, you stupid mutts!" Mido whacked them across the face, but it only made them growl louder. One of them snatched the wooden stick from Mido's hand with it's sharp jaws and crunched it, snapping it in two.

"Those are Wolfos! But they're much bigger than usual..." Navi trailed off.

"Yikes! Man, these guys ARE bigger than last time! And there's two of 'em!" Stephanie exclaimed, astonished. Suddenly, Mido turned around and saw us.

"Not you again! Go away!" But the two Wolfos lowered to the ground, ready to pounce...

"Mido! Get back!!" I shouted. Unsheathing the sword in a flash, I dashed in just in time and injured them, creating huge gashes on their sides. I then got into a fighting stance, ready to face off against the Wolfos. The two stood on all fours, glaring and showing their ferocious teeth at us. However, they collapsed.

"Um... They dead yet?" Stephanie asked. I walked to their bodies and examined them.

"It seems so."

"Why did you... What is with you?!" I turned to face Mido. "And how do you know my name? Answer me that!"

"He's ma~gical."

"Shut up, you weirdo!" I calmly took out the ocarina Zelda left us and began playing Saria's song. As I played the song, I noticed he averted his attention away from my companion. His eyes widened in shock. "Saria always played that... Do you know Saria?" I stopped; I gazed at him with meaningful eyes.

"Uh... Should I just state the obvious, or what?"

"Nevermind that now." I stashed the ocarina away. "Mido, it's pretty dangerous out here. You should head back. Navi, Stephanie, let's get going." I headed towards the iron gate.

"No! Wait!" Mido shouted. "Let me come with you!" I stopped in my tracks.

"S-say what?"

"You heard me! I'm. Coming. With. You." I looked back to see Mido crossing his arms. He tapped his foot.

"You CAN'T be serious..." Stephanie muttered in shock.

"Of course I'm serious! Why else would I-"

"But why?" I interrupted him. I knew it was rude, but I just couldn't help but wonder.

"You know Saria, right? If you're heading for the Forest Temple..." Mido ambled to my side. "Then I wanna come, too. When the monsters were abroad, Saria said she was going to do something about it and went to the Forest Temple." Then he hung his head. "But she never came back." At that point, Mido glanced up with those glaring eyes of his. "I'm coming with you, and I ain't gonna except any 'noes'! I wanna see Saria!"

"Hey! Heeeeeey!" Stephanie harshly whispered. "Come over here!"

"Ahh... Wait here, please." Leaving Mido and his constant tapping, I hurried over to her. "Yes, what is it?"

"Link, you're not actually gonna let Mido join, are you?!" I scratched my head.

"He said he won't take no for an answer. Back then, Mido always got what he want."

"You mean almost... Gah, that's not the point here!" She let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed her forehead. "If we hafta let Mido join... well, does he have any weapons?" I shrugged.

"I'll ask. Um, Mido?" I questioned aloud to him. "Do you have anything to protect yourself with?" Mido glared once more.

"Of course I do! I got... uh..... Just give me a minute!" He began searching for a weapon on him. Through his pants, his boots, and his hat...

I realized he didn't have one.

Mido grumbled, restarting his search.

"Be quiet! I've got one, you'll see!" Stephanie growled.

"Why that little no good freckle-faced, redheaded-!" I blocked her tracks with my arm.

"Cool your head. It's just Mido." Her eye twitched.

"But he. Doesn't. Have. A. Weapon!" She hissed at me.

"She has a point, Link." Navi agreed. "If he doesn't have something to fend monsters off with, what good will he be with us in the Forest Temple?" I bit my bottom lip. There must be something... A stick? No, it got crushed by the Wolfos' jaws. Deku nuts? Good idea, but I don't see them anywhere. Just what...?

That's it!

"Stephanie, could you look into the bag?" I asked her. "There may be something in there."

"Haaaa... I'll look alright, but there's probably nuthin' in there..." She began searching for a weapon. I pray that it's in there. "Hmm..... No, no, nope, nada.... Wait a minute!"

I stared, eyes widened with excitement.

"...Oh wait. Nope." ...What a disappointment. I sighed. "Well, actually... We still have the slingshots, and that boomerang." My spirits were lifted up once more. "I say boomerang. 'Cuz, ya know, it's like much more usable then the slingshot, considering we don't really have any ammo for it." Stephanie fished out the treasured item of the Zoras. "Here." Taking the item, I quickly walked back to Mido, who had given up his search.

"Hey Mister! Do fists count? I can pack a punch!" At this, Stephanie snorted. I held out the boomerang.

"Mido, if you want to come along, you can use this. It's a boomerang, and-"

**CHINK!**

"Wh-what the hell?!" Stephanie exclaimed, astonished. I quickly turned around to see a small sword sticking out from the ground. The jewel, the handle...

That was the Kokiri Sword! I thought it was in her bag! Just....how?! And where?!

"Dude, that was so convenient, it's not even funny! Like Chuck Norris." Mido pushed me aside as he strode to the sword, pulling it out of the earth.

"Ha, a sword too!" He smirked. "Now I can save Saria....... Hold on. This is the-!" He gasped as he examined the blade from every side. "How did-?.... Link had this! I knew that twerp couldn't hold on to it! That stupid idiot!" Where did the sword come from? Who had it while we were in the temple? So many questions left unanswered...

"...Yeeeaaaah. Whatever. Ugh!" Stephanie threw her head back, sighing. "Alright people, let's go." With Mido now equipped, we walked passed the gate, which had somehow opened. By itself? Stephanie, however, stayed behind. "Um? Uh, I don't think you two should go in just yet..."

"I thought you were the one that said to go!" Mido retaliated.

"Yeah, well, at least look around! My bad!" She responded mockingly. What is she talking about? I glanced left and right...

And found a ferocious-looking monster clad in armor, carrying a giant spear. It uttered a low growl.

"Hey, what was that... Gyah!" Mido screamed.

"Link! Mido! That's a Moblin, get out of the way!" Navi warned.

* * *

We had gotten through the maze.

Well, we had to either dodge the Moblins or attack it. We were lucky that they were all brawn and no brain. Mido had tried using his boomerang, but he kept on missing; every time he used it, the boomerang came back whacking him. Stephanie decided to play safe and let us do all the work. It kind of irritated me a bit. She could have at least take on a Moblin, instead of sounding like Navi.

"Link, hurry up and kill the thing!" "Dude, look behind you!" "Mido, you suck." "ForestTempleForestTempleForestTempleForestTemple-"

My apologies, Navi. But you do.

Getting past the twisted sub-paths in the maze, we were one step closer to the Forest Temple. Unfortunately...

"So.... Who's gonna take out that guy?" Stephanie inquired. Another Moblin blocked us, right in the middle of a large pathway. Instead of a spear, he had a giant club. And every so often, he'd make a giant earthquake with it, left and right. He was larger than all the others! "Ya know, that guy ain't very smart. He's just sittin' there, whackin' his thing everywhere, when we're right here. Dumbass." She made stretching sounds before sighing contently. "Alright Link, kill it!"

I'm putting my foot down.

"Stephanie," I said sweetly, "why don't _you _go and take that one?" I extended my arm towards him. She immediately faced me with a suprised look.

"Uh, say wha?"

"I'm sure it won't be that difficult. You've seen me facing other monsters, surely you can do it, considering..." I put much emphasis on the last word. Stephanie's eyes grew wide. She frowned, glancing at the monster, then me, then repeating the same sequence several times.

"Um, dude. That thing is _bigger_. I go squishy if I go near it!" She exclaimed.

"I'm sure you'll figure out a strategy. After all, you happen to know _so much_ about Hyrule."

"But you're the Hero! You do it!"

"Listen Stephanie. You haven't helped _at all_ in the maze. At least Mido tried! Since you ARE traveling with me, the least you could do is face the Moblin! I'm tired of doing all the work without any help from you!" I angrily placed my hands on my hips, tapping my foot. Stephanie appeared to have shrunken down, suprised more so and still frowning.

"Uhh... Does Mido have an objection?" We both turned to Mido. He stood still, not bothering to look up, keeping his head down. "Uh..." Yet, he wouldn't answer.

"Well Stephanie," Navi began, "you better get to work!" Navi sounded quite happy. Stephanie grimaced before kneeling, removing her bag.

"I'll do it..." Suddenly, she sat up in a flash, glaring at the Moblin. "Will you PLEASE quit doing that?! It's annoying!"

He slammed the club down harder, as if annoyed by her outburst. I winced; she really should keep quiet at times.

"Jeez... Son of a..." She mumbled as she rumaged through the bag. I knelt down to Mido, concerned.

"Mido? Something wrong?" Instead, he turned away. Why won't he speak? Come to think of it, he hasn't spoken much since we've entered the maze...

"Alrighty then." I turned to see Stephanie carrying a bomb; her shield was equipped on her back. "Got my shield? Check. My dagger?" She looked at the sword in her right. "Check. Mr. Bomb? Check. Okay, uh, someone's gotta light this thang. 'Cuz, like, I dunno how." I furrowed my brow.

"Just what are you planning?"

"I'm gonna go blow that thaaaang up. Yeah. Probably do a bit more damage on him then my super-duper-mega-awesome dagger!" She stretched again, then took a few steps towards the Moblin. "Yessiree. Aaanytime now. Yup." She slowly inched closer. "Mmmhm." Her pace went even slower if possible. "Aw yeah, gonna kill me some Moblins! What fun!" ...She doesn't seem to move anymore.

"Link... She's stalling." Navi remarked. I frowned. "Hmm... Perhaps we should 'help' her?" I closed my eyes and crossed my arms.

"We could, but... how?" I asked, tilting my head.

"Usually, a little push helps," Navi suggested. A little push, huh?

This gives me an idea.

"Stephanie, may I see that bomb please?" I asked politely. She turned, confusement written on her face.

"Um, what?" I grinned as I ambled to her.

"Oh, nothing..."

"Dude, you're kinda scarin' me." I whistled a light tune as I casually took the bomb out of her hand. "Whaddya doin'? Wait a minute, since when did you whistle?" I ignored her questions as I took hold of the thick wick. I quickly yanked it, setting it off. Then I handed it back to the now-panicking Stephanie, who let her mouth drop. "D-dude!" She exclaimed, her eyes widened with fear. "Why did you-?! How-?!"

"You said someone needed to light it," I replied innocently. "Now... Attack!" I shoved her towards the Moblin.

"AAAHH!!" She stumbled right into the range of the monster. He raised his club, ready to pound again. She screamed again before dodging just in time; the earthquake he created made Stephanie bounce up a bit.

"That's great, keep dodging!" I shouted.

"I have a feeling she'll get flattened by that club," Navi commented. Stephanie, screaming for her life, kept on dodging the club.

"I'M GONNA DIE!!!" She cried. The grey smoke of the burning wick wafted into the air, dispersed by the club-swinging.

"Stephanie," I shouted once more, "don't let the bomb explode in your hand!"

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?!?"

**THWACK!**

The club collided with the earth.

**THWACK!**

I could barely see it, but Stephanie dove under the Moblin, just in between his legs.

**THWACK!**

"AUUGH! It's gonna blow!" She cried out.

**KA-BOOM!**

The bomb exploded, creating a huge cloud of dark smoke and ash. I froze.

"Gaah..." I could only utter as the cloud slowly disappeared. When dispersed, I saw the monster standing still as if nothing happened, albeit covered in soot.

Or rather, he _was_. He suddenly collapsed, leaving a shaking soot-covered Stephanie behind. I ran towards her.

"Stephanie! Are you okay?" Very slowly, she managed to get off the ground. Turning around, she wore a shocked expression, leaving her mouth agape. Stephanie's eye twitched. "Um... Good job! Nice tactic!" I praised her, raising a thumb up. All she did was stare. "Erm... You're not hurt _too _badly, are you?" Her staring continued. I felt the hairs on my neck stand. This is getting awkward. "Uh... Are you, um, mad at me?" I asked warily. I finally got a reaction; she shook her head no, if only a little.

"Oh no..." She said, almost in a whisper. "I'm not mad at all..."

"Grrr...!" Realizing who it was, I quickly glanced at the Moblin. His hand, twitching, grabbed a fistful of grass. I clenched my sword very tightly.

"Looks like he's still alive," I commented. "Ah, don't worry, I'll-"

"GYAAH!!" Stephanie screamed in rage. Suprised, I took a step or two back. I looked at her; her face was twisted in anger. Raising her weapon, Stephanie marched to the fallen enemy, where she proceeded to hack away at him.

She also yelled out words I could barely understand.

"-SON OF A BITCH, STUPID-ASS, MOTHER FU-"

Were half of those even words? I wasn't sure. But by this time, blood was practically everywhere. Stephanie stabbed the now-dead monster several times without a moment's rest.

"Link," Navi began, "you should stop her. She's getting a bit too carried away..." I nodded. Sheathing my sword, I briskly advanced to Stephanie. Just as she raised her dagger again, I grabbed her wrist. Huffing, she swiftly turned her head at me, some of her hair flying into her mouth. Some of her face and clothing were splattered with blood. Stephanie appeared quite... insane.

"Stephanie, calm down," I told her. "It's over now... He's dead." She panted, slowing down her breathing. Trembling, she stepped away from the corpse, dagger in tow. When I was sure she wasn't going to attack again, I let go. Stephanie wiped off the blood and soot. "Are you feeling better?" I asked. Spitting out the hair, she glared at me.

"Somewhat. Yer goin' on mah hitlist, though." With that, Stephanie walked back to retrieve her bag, then stomped past me towards the temple. I do not like the sound of 'hitlist'.

"Erm, Navi? What's a 'hitlist'?" I inquired.

"I... I don't know," Navi admitted. I frowned.

"I see. Mido, let's go!" Catching up to Stephanie, we entered a spacious area. Across from us was a broken staircase, though it's attatched to the wall. An old and large tree was nearby. And then, there was a small stump just close.

Funny... It's reminiscint, somehow.

"Alright!" I shouted. "Time to enter the Forest Temple!" I pumped both fists into the air. No responses were made, however.

I feel like I'm setting a bad mood here.

"You..." I turned around. Mido's fist was clenched. After a quick glimpse at Stephanie, who was still quite angry, I knelt down before Mido. I placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Mido, what's wrong? You can tell me." I smiled half-heartedly. He started to breathe heavily.

"You... You..." I leaned in a bit closer.

"... YOU JERK!" Without warning, Mido punched me! I stumbled back, shocked. Getting up, I noticed... tears? Mido is crying? "WHY DIDN'T YOU COME BACK, LINK?!"

* * *

**D-d-d-d-dat's all, folks! It shall remain in Link's POV until otherwise. O3O**

**To be honest, I tried slowing down, but I don't think that worked. -ish sad- Also, I finally got this story planned out! :D I just need to sort out some parts, and it'll be okay! Yayz~! Which is another reason why this chapter be so late.... And I just realized I hadn't updated this thing since February! O__O Oh gawd I'm slow! Another thing: I won't start on the next chapter 'til I get the next chapter for my other story done, so yeah, beware and stuff.**

**To answer why I've added dungeon layouts into the temples, but not in the first three courses... In my opinion, they don't show enough with the temples. I really can't picture my story with that much out. I mean, with the first three, it would make sense. I just figured it would be better this way? **

**...Yeah, I dunno how a bomb works (as shown here). :/ I mean like, you see Link throwing a bomb, and it's set off right away... How does he do it, if he doesn't even have a lighter or whatever? This games poses many questions. DX**

**Oh yeah, irrelevant question ( I know), but uh, does anyone know which era the insult 'Thumb-biting' takes place? Cuz, ya know, that would be greatly appreciated :D Alright nao, see ya!**


End file.
